Starflight (Starflight, #1)(76)

“You okay?” she asked. “You’ve been quiet tonight.”

He flashed an empty grin, all lips and no eyes. “Just thinking.”

“I thought I smelled smoke,” she teased. When the joke didn’t rouse him, she turned around and tipped his chin with an index finger. “What’s wrong?”

He watched her for a moment, then shrugged. “I think I found my purpose in life.”

The flippancy in his tone shocked a dry laugh out of her. “Is that all? Try not to act so excited. You might pull a muscle.”

“There’s nothing to be excited about. At least not yet. Discovering your purpose and making it happen are two different things.”

His message hit home, and she dropped her gaze to the floor. Until today, she’d thought she had a purpose. Now she wasn’t sure.

“I can make a difference here,” Doran told her. “Just by putting an end to the price gouging. Think of the impact that cheaper fuel would have on the fringe—more crops, better technology, the freedom to travel off world. It would be a total game changer.”

She glanced up at him and noticed a passion in his eyes she’d never seen before. Clearly he’d given this a great deal of thought. But his smile was sad when he added, “I could help people.”

“What’s the problem?”

“I can’t do anything unless the Enforcers drop the charges,” he said. “And even if the Spaulding board reinstates me, it could take months before we see changes in the fringe.” He leaned forward and delivered a pointed look. “This place isn’t safe. A lot of terrible things will happen before then. A lot could happen to you.”

She’d managed to forget about Vega for a moment, and the reminder sent needles of anxiety prickling along her spine. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

“No, you won’t,” he said. “And neither will I—not if you ask me to leave you here.”

She shook her head. “You don’t owe me anything.”

“Actually, I do. But my motivations aren’t that pure.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means,” he said, standing from the bed, “that if I clear my charges, I want you to come back to Earth and stay with me. For good.”

“Stay with you?” For a brief second, her heart soared. But then she remembered the reason she’d left Earth in the first place. “And do what?”

“Anything you want.”

“Have you forgotten about the fraud charges?”

“It was my credit account you used. I’ll tell the investigators you had permission to buy whatever you wanted.”

“But I’m only trained to do one thing,” she said. “There weren’t enough mechanic jobs when I left, and nothing’s changed since then.”

“I’ll make sure Spaulding hires you. We always need mechanics. Or if you want, I’ll teach you another career, maybe product development. Then we can travel together like we do now.”

“And how would that look?” She glanced at her tattooed knuckles and imagined what the gossip magazines would say: SPAULDING HEIR SLUMMING IT WITH LATEST FLING. “A convicted felon working side by side with the future company president?” She shook her head. “Are you even listening to yourself?”

“I’ll hire a flesh forger to erase your record.”

“But I still won’t fit in. I’m not cultured or beautiful like your—”

“Stop saying that,” he interrupted. “You are beautiful.”

“You stop saying that,” she fired back. “Because I know you don’t mean it!”

His blue eyes flashed and he took a step closer, erasing the distance between them.

“Don’t tell me what I mean,” he said, his voice rough. “When I walk into a room, you’re the only person I see. My brain doesn’t get a choice anymore, because there’s something inside you so rare it radiates out and blocks everyone else. You have the kind of beauty that can’t be manufactured—the kind that comes from in here.” He tapped a finger against her chest. “I didn’t know what real beauty was before I met you, but I get it now. So trust me when I say you’re the most breathtaking girl in my world.”

Solara’s eyes burned with tears. She tried blinking Doran into focus, but something hot and painful welled inside her until his face became a wet blur.

“I like waking up in sheets that smell like you,” he said, gentler this time. “And I like the little wrinkle that shows up between your eyes every time you look at me. When I think about giving that up, I can’t breathe.” He took her face between his warm, callused hands. “Today, when I imagined what it would feel like to leave you behind, I realized that I can’t do it. And don’t think I’m being noble.”

“Doran,” she whispered with a weak smile, “I would never accuse you of being noble.”

“Then you know me.” Smiling in return, he stroked her cheek with his thumb. “My reason is totally selfish—I need you. Wherever you are is where I want to be.”

Solara shook her head as tears leaked down her cheeks. She wanted to believe him, but deep down she worried that he’d only grown attached to her out of isolation. Once he had other options, he might feel differently.