Starfall (Starflight #2)(67)
Getting in my pants? She was so thunderstruck by Renny’s logic that she couldn’t speak. She dropped into the copilot’s chair and flung a hand toward the ceiling. Thankfully, her silent frustration was a language he seemed to comprehend.
“The way I understand it,” he said, “Eturia was formed by four dynasties. Two of them surrendered to Marius during the war, leaving him in control of their lands. Then you married him and merged all those kingdoms into one.” Renny glanced at her. “Am I right so far?”
She nodded.
“Okay. So now, if anything happens to Marius, which it probably will, control of the whole planet passes to you—until you share it by taking another husband.”
“And you think Jordan’s vying for the job?”
“I think that’s his first choice. But if it doesn’t work, he’s in a perfect position to stage a military coup. It happens all the time.”
“But you’re missing a huge point. My parents abandoned the throne a long time ago. If Jordan wanted to take over, he could’ve done it already. But he didn’t. He used his influence to put me in charge.”
“And I promise he had an agenda. Men don’t surrender their power for nothing.”
Cassia knew the captain’s heart was in the right place, but his conspiracy theory about Jordan was starting to feel like a personal attack. She’d made plenty of mistakes, but trusting Jordan wasn’t one of them. Renny could criticize all he wanted. He hadn’t been there when Marius had locked her in a dungeon cell. Jordan had been there. Renny hadn’t whisked her away from Marius’s suite and then helped her steal and dismantle a dozen enemy missiles. Jordan had done that. Since her return to Eturia, no one had supported her more fiercely than Jordan—not even her best friend.
She picked at a smudge of dried food on the console. “Is it that hard to believe he likes me for me?” She hadn’t meant for her voice to sound broken. “Not everyone is working an angle.”
Renny softened, turning to her with a gentle smile. “Of course not. You’re an amazing girl, Cassia. You’re strong and smart and incredibly brave. I’m only trying to open your eyes. This general is shiny and new. He says all the right things and probably gives you butterflies in your stomach. But that’s because you don’t know his flaws. One day the glow will wear off, and I think you’ll look back and regret letting go of the person you really loved.” Renny reached out, covering her hand with his. “The one who was there for so long you stopped noticing his shine.”
She pulled her hand free and tucked it beneath her thigh. Maybe she had taken Kane for granted once, but her kidnapping had changed all that. She would be with him right now if he hadn’t betrayed her.
“It’s not that,” she admitted, because she needed to talk to someone, and the words flowed easier around Renny. She told him about all the times the rebels had learned information she’d shared only with Kane, and then about the transmission he’d sent two nights ago. “I caught him in the act. How am I supposed to ignore that?”
Renny didn’t answer at first. He took the time to clean his glasses and then reposition them on his nose before he said, “Maybe you’re not supposed to ignore it. Maybe you’re supposed to understand it.”
“Understand that he betrayed me?”
“Understand that you’re not the center of the universe, Cassia,” he corrected. Despite the gentle delivery, his message heated her cheeks. “There are other people in Kane’s life, too. Did you expect him to put your feelings above the life of his own mother?”
“I wouldn’t have let anything happen to Rena.”
Renny slid her a disbelieving look.
“I wouldn’t have!”
“How can you guarantee that when you’re in another sector?”
She opened her mouth to reply, but Renny had stumped her. Even though she’d ordered her soldiers to arrest the rebels, not to kill them, she couldn’t have prevented anything from going wrong. As much as it stung to know that Rena was part of the rebellion, Cassia couldn’t bear the thought of Kane’s mother shot down in the street.
“All right, fine,” she admitted. “I can’t blame him for not wanting to take that chance with his mom. But what about the other times he passed information to the rebels?”
“Are you sure that he did?”
“No, but the evidence points to him.”
Renny shrugged. “I can’t help you there because I don’t know what happened. But I’ve seen the way Kane looks at you. I believe that boy would cut off his right arm if he thought it would make you happy.” He nudged her. “And I think you’d do the same for him.”
She stared at her hands. It wasn’t that simple.
“I want you to realize what you have,” Renny said. “The love of a good partner makes you stronger, not weaker.”
“It doesn’t always feel that way.”
“That’s because you mistake vulnerability for weakness. It doesn’t make you powerful to hide your heart. Trust me; love heightens everything decent in life. Most people are lucky to find it once. What you have is even more special because loving your best friend is the cosmic jackpot. So don’t let go of that without a fight. That’s all I’m asking.”