Starfall (Starflight #2)(19)
Did she hate him as much as he hated himself?
Glancing at her, it was hard to tell. Her gaze sparked when it met his, and for an instant he thought he saw a hint of a smile, but he blinked once and it was gone. She kept looking down and fidgeting with her hands as though she couldn’t decide what to do. He wanted to close the distance between them and gather her in a hug, but something in her expression warned him not to. He didn’t deserve to touch her anyway.
Finally, he told her, “I’m sorry.”
“It’s my fault. I should’ve sent word to you sooner.” She nervously tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “We’ll have the grid up and running again soon.”
“I’m not talking about the shield.”
Her cheeks colored.
“Are you okay?” he said, and immediately cursed himself for asking such an idiotic question. Of course she wasn’t okay. “What happened? Did Marius let you go?”
She answered with a dry laugh, then lifted her right hand to reveal a scab bisecting the pad of her index finger. “No. I gave him what he wanted.” A tiny smirk played on her lips. “Or what he thought he wanted. I’m sure he’s regretting that decision now.”
It took a moment for Kane to absorb the meaning. He’d been away from Eturia for so long he’d forgotten the royal custom of joining bloodlines. Then realization hit with the force of ten solar flares and nearly knocked him off his feet.
“You married him?”
He wasn’t sure if he’d asked the question out loud. The choking sensation in his chest felt like the time he’d accidentally inhaled a sip of Crystalline. His lungs had burned and refused to draw air until he’d coughed himself raw. He felt that way now, like he needed to cough in order to breathe.
“A few days ago,” she said. “He’s honeymooning in a jail cell down the hall.”
A few days. That was nearly how long Kane had spent dazed and useless in the underground compound. He should’ve tried harder, reached her sooner. After all the years she’d spent running from Marius, she’d had to marry him anyway. She’d had to stand in the temple and kiss him…and then do a lot more than kissing after the ceremony ended.
No. He couldn’t think about that.
Instead, he peered into the eyes of his closest friend, wishing more than anything he could rewind time. “I should have been here.” He knew he’d spoken aloud, because he heard the subtle shift of his voice breaking. “I’m so sorry, Cassy.”
As soon as he spoke her name, the guard standing beside her went rigid and growled, “You will address your queen as Her Royal Colonial Highness.”
Kane blinked at the man and noticed he was a Booter, not a royal guard, and a high-ranking one if the colorful bars tacked to his shoulders were any indication. He seemed young, no more than twenty-five, but with an arrogant, dour attitude that made Kane want to rebreak his crooked nose.
Cassia waved him off. “It’s fine. These are friends, and we’re not in public.”
“Wait a minute,” Kane said as the Booter’s words finally sank in. He wrenched his gaze back to Cassia. “Queen?” Did that mean her parents had died during the war? Panic gripped him. He still didn’t know if his own mother had survived the bombings.
“Yes.” She lifted her chin with pride, and in doing so, she gave him a glimpse of the girl he remembered. “My parents flew off world when the war began and never came back. Can you believe that?”
He could, easily. He’d watched Cassia’s parents abuse and neglect her for so long it seemed fitting that they would neglect the colony, too. But he didn’t want to discuss them, not until he knew his mother was safe.
“My mom,” he began, and trailed off to read Cassia’s reaction. When her lips parted in the classic look of having forgotten something important, he knew she hadn’t tried contacting his mother. “It’s all right,” he assured her before she could apologize. “I’ll find her. Are you okay if I…” Leave again? He let his gaze ask the question.
Nodding, she reached out as if to touch him but quickly pulled back her hand and folded both arms across her chest. “Of course. Go. We’ll talk later.”
The city was a virtual wasteland, with half its inhabitants living in a tent camp near the farmers’ market, but not even war could stop the rumor mill from churning. The allure of fresh gossip was more indestructible than any breed of cockroach known to man. No matter how far down life knocked a community, they could always take pleasure in the scandals of others.
That was universal.
According to rumor, a guard at the security station who’d witnessed Kane’s reunion with Cassia had told the story to a friend. That friend, who was in charge of distributing rations outside the palace gates, had told the butcher’s wife, who, in turn, told her prayer group. From there, the story spread like a fever, passed from one eager mouth to the next in excited whispers. Kane Arric is back, the queen’s ex-lover. She didn’t seem happy to see him. I heard he only came home so he could join the rebellion.
None of it was true—not the “lover” part and certainly not his interest in overthrowing the crown—but news of his return helped him find his mother. When he’d landed the Banshee’s shuttle at his childhood home and found it abandoned, a stranger scavenging nearby had recognized Kane and mentioned that his mother was living at a farmhouse on the outskirts of town. After thanking the man, Kane flew to the farm, where his mother greeted him in a flurry of hugs and tears.