Star Mother (Star Mother #1)(26)

It was the hope that had awakened after I survived, and the death of it, that ached the most—and now that I wasn’t surrounded by worshipers, I felt it keenly. That, and the distance between myself and my child, though I had always known I wouldn’t hold a mortal babe in my arms. But a woman cannot help what her heart yearns for.

“You are a star mother.”

I started at the deep, crackly voice and turned back to the house, expecting to find a local, or perhaps someone from Endwever. But I was alone in the field, surrounded by wild grass and clover.

“I have never met one,” the voice continued.

I turned again, this time facing the lake. The water rippled as though a stone had been tossed into it, and as I watched, it shifted upward like clay in a potter’s hands, taking on the impression of a

face. It surprised me, but I did not run. I had been around enough godlings in Sun’s palace not to fear this one.

“Godling of the lake.” I offered a curtsy.

“Not an inaccurate name.” The watery mouth moved as he spoke, but the voice didn’t stem from it. The risen water shifted left, then right, as though studying me. “He wouldn’t let you walk the Earth Mother . . . but no, you’ve already had your star. I can tell.”

His voice took on a pitying sound that reminded me of the looks Sun’s servants had given me so often after I arrived in their heaven. I touched my braided hair self-consciously.

“Is it so obvious?” I asked.

“You are bright,” the lake confirmed. “Starlight burns within you.

But your shell is still mortal.”

Starlight. So that was what had scared the bandits away. “I was told I was not quite mortal.”

The lake nodded. “How interesting. Will you stay long, Star Mother?”

“Ceris,” I corrected, though once upon a time, I never would have had the audacity to correct a godling. Or a god, but I had already done that as well. “And no, just the night. I’m on my way to Nediah.”

“Nediah, Nediah,” the godling repeated, and his voice sounded like a trickling waterfall. “I have rested here too long. I do not know it.”

“It is northwest of here. A larger city where my sister’s kin may be.” I wondered how many, for I might find dozens of Parroses across generations, or I might find only one survivor. Anything was better than more graves.

“Hmmm. Sounds tiring.” The lake’s appendage shrunk into itself. “Take care, Star Mother. Use your light well.”

“Th-Thank you. And may the rain keep you full.”

I sensed a smile at that, and then the lake grew still, the godling either slumbering or gone entirely.

I woke after Sunrise the next morning and dressed quickly. I repacked my bags, ensuring everything had its place, and gently set in the wrapped meals Telda had given me. After making the bed, I came downstairs to help Telda with breakfast. I was churning butter when Jude came home with a small pouch of coin for me. I was thrilled he had managed to find buyers for my things, but I did not miss that he had returned alone.

To this, he shrugged. “We’re a small town of farmers, Miss Wenden. No one can leave their work long enough to journey to Nediah and back. If you want to wait out the season, there may be some merchants passing through.”

But I couldn’t wait. If I stayed in this farmhouse, I would likely be caught, and I couldn’t inconvenience Telda and Jude for so long. I would simply have to follow the road, perhaps not walk it, but keep it in my vision, and set up a camp each night before it got dark. I could avoid most dangers that way. And who knew—in the next town, I might find someone on their way to Nediah and be allowed to ride with them. Hope was not lost.

Part of me also whispered that the starlight could protect me. It had once already.

I tapped my nail on my ring. Perhaps Sun would come for me soon and take me to my star, and then politely drop me off in Nediah Himself.

I thanked Telda and Jude profusely before stepping outside, ensuring the road was clear before running across it and slipping into the forest, where I could follow its guidance without being noticed.

After only half an hour of walking, I heard horses in the distance, and tucked myself behind a tree to watch the riders pass. They were heading toward Endwever, and I wondered if they were the same horsemen who had visited Telda.

When they’d gone, I continued ahead, trying to keep a good pace. Trying also to calm my thoughts. If a star mother had returned alive before Endwever’s torch had been lit, how might I have reacted? Surely I would have believed it a miracle. Surely I would have been fascinated by her. I could not disparage the people of Endwever for feeling that way, even if Father Aedan and his wife were . . . overly enthusiastic. I wouldn’t bow to their will, but neither did I want to carry any fear with me that was not necessary for my survival. I was a woman alone in an unfamiliar world, but I desperately wanted to be happy in it.

The road turned; I thought it was away from Nediah, but surely it would right itself eventually. Nediah was too big a city for any main northbound road not to lead to it. Following the turn, I had to step away from the trees for a while, which made me uneasy, but I’d already left Terasta behind. I spied one more farm, but it was too far north for anyone to notice a lone woman passing by. I dared not wander too far from the road, for villages in Helchanar were so few and far between I could travel for days and easily miss them.