Spoiler Alert (Spoiler Alert #1)(50)

When Aeneas finally located her again, sitting under an olive tree, drenched by a summer storm, he found a wife transformed. No longer wary and willing, but icy and disdainful.

He knew he’d erred somehow, but he had no idea how, and Lavinia wouldn’t say.

“I’m sorry,” he told her helplessly, but he couldn’t explain for what.

Lavinia simply turned her back and walked away from him.

The story ended there.

April’s phone rang as she was still mopping her own tears, and she didn’t bother to answer. She’d changed her number several days ago, so it probably wasn’t someone calling to ask about Marcus anymore, but the thought of talking to her mother—the person most likely to call—right now nauseated her.

What the gorgeously written, depressing-as-fuck story might impart about BAWN’s state of mind, she didn’t know. At the moment, oddly enough, she didn’t care.

“No Less a Man” might have been written by her former online friend, the object of her unrequited pining, but it reminded her of another man entirely.

Marcus.

Marcus, who’d burst into her life by defending her against bullies, ones who’d targeted her for her size. No one, not a soul, would have thought any less of him for ignoring the thread, but he hadn’t. Instead, he’d called her gorgeous and asked her out. Held her hand. Put his hot mouth on her neck as she shivered in pleasure and sucked until a bruise bloomed on the spot.

Marcus, who hadn’t said a word about what she’d ordered and eaten during their two meals together. Even trusted friends often teased her about the amount of sugar she stirred into her coffee, but he hadn’t blinked, much less chided her.

Marcus, the man she’d cut off before he could finish speaking, the man she hadn’t bothered to interrogate further before declaring him canceled, the man who’d watched her with such confused hurt on his solemn face as they sat in silence in the back seat of that cab.

Early in her friendship with BAWN, when they’d worked together for the first time on one of his fics, he’d struggled with Lavinia’s motivations during an emotionally fraught scene. Eventually, April had broken it down for him in the simplest possible terms.

She has trust issues, she’d told BAWN. Major trust issues. They’re going to color all her reactions to Aeneas, even though she’s trying her best to be fair to him.

Shit, he’d responded. I can’t believe I didn’t realize that before. Of course she has trust issues. THANK YOU. This really helps.

Intending no harm, people often blundered.

Sometimes they blundered because their personal histories hadn’t taught them to be sensitive to certain issues. And sometimes they blundered because—

Sometimes they blundered because they had trust issues. Major trust issues.

Dammit. No wonder she was part of the Lavineas fandom. Marcus probably didn’t want to hear from her. But before she dismissed him as fool’s gold, she needed to be sure, absolutely sure, she was right. She needed to try, at least one more time.

Chest tight with nerves, her breaths shallow and rapid, she opened Twitter. To her relief, he hadn’t unfollowed or blocked her. Their discussion-in-progress remained on the screen, waiting for her to continue the conversation.

So she did.

Hi, Marcus. I’ve been thinking about your invitation to the gym. Honestly, I’m not much for working out. Is that okay with you? Also, if you’re still interested in getting together again, do you have an alternate suggestion?

His response arrived within minutes, and her eyes prickled again upon reading it.

Happy tears, this time.

If you don’t like working out, we won’t work out together. No worries. I would love to see you again. How about I come to SF next weekend and take you to my favorite doughnut shop from when I was a kid? Or, better yet, why don’t we check out various doughnut shops around your new place and rank them in order of deliciousness?

She could honestly say she’d never heard a better date idea in her fucking life.

Gold. She’d almost tossed aside gold and called it pyrite.

I can’t wait. I’m sorry. I—

She wasn’t ready to share the details of her personal history yet, but he deserved an apology and some sort of explanation, however insufficient.

I’m sorry. I had a lot on my mind the other day, she eventually typed.

No worries, he wrote again. So I’ll see you on Saturday?

She touched a forefinger to the faded bruise at the base of her neck, breathless once more. Now for entirely different—entirely better—reasons.

Just try and avoid me, she told him. XOXO.





Lavineas Server DMs, Nine Months Ago

Unapologetic Lavinia Stan: After watching tonight’s episode, I keep thinking: What a waste.

Unapologetic Lavinia Stan: What we saw is a waste of the raw material provided by the books. It’s a waste of truly amazing actors and crew. And it’s a waste of the opportunity to tell the kind of story I Book!AeneasWouldNever: What kind of story?

Book!AeneasWouldNever: Ulsie?

Unapologetic Lavinia Stan: Summer Diaz is so talented. She’s also gorgeous.

Book!AeneasWouldNever: Yes. Both of those.

Book!AeneasWouldNever: I’m sensing a “but” in there somewhere.

Unapologetic Lavinia Stan: Lavinia is supposed to be ugly. Not just plain, or dressed in unflattering clothing. UGLY.