Speakeasy (True North #5)(46)

“Trouble in paradise? She’s not your type?”

“I thought she was.” May wraps an arm around my waist and strokes my stomach. “I thought I could find someone who wanted the same things I did. It seemed easier with women. Like—sharing our shoes was a shortcut to seeing everything the same way. And then it wasn’t. And I don’t feel like trying anymore.”

“Oh.” I stroke her smooth arm. “That’s just the anger talking. You’ll probably stop feeling that way after a while.”

“Maybe.” She kisses my hand. “I think relationships just aren’t for me. When that’s the goal, it just blows up in my face. I had this whole plan for Daniela and I. She used to make noises like she was onboard, and then she just stopped.”

“What kind of plans?”

“I wanted to get married eventually. And she wasn’t into that.”

“Hmm. Not everybody is.” I’ve never felt the urge to get married, either.

“Right. But she knew I wanted to adopt a baby from China. And she used to tell me that she wanted that, too. But I think she was just nodding along so I’d shut up.”

“Why China?”

May shrugs. “It’s a little easier than adopting elsewhere. During law school I had an internship in family law, where I worked on adoptions. There are these websites where you can see babies.” She lifts her face off my chest. “There are actual infants right this second who need a home. I mean—lesbians have babies the natural way all the time. But adoption just feels right to me.”

“Well…” I clear my throat because I’m way out of my depth now. “Daniela wasn’t the right girl for the job. But it doesn’t mean you can’t still get there eventually.”

“I know. And I have time. But she made me gun-shy. Like whenever I want something, it turns to dust in my hands.”

“Unfortunately, I know the feeling.” The Gin Mill feels so perilous to me lately. If I make one wrong move, everything I’ve worked for could disappear.

“We should sleep,” May whispers. “I’m going to get ready for bed.”

“Good plan,” I agree.

She gets up to brush her teeth, and then I do the same. When all the lights are off, we climb back into bed.

Wordlessly, I pull May closer to my body, until we’re snuggled up tightly together. Before now, I couldn’t sleep so well with a woman in my bed. I always worried about sending the wrong signal. And it made me feel like I had to play host all the time and be “on” when maybe I just needed to relax.

But May is different. She listens to me like a true friend, and when we’re not burning up the sheets I find myself telling her whatever’s in my head. She’s going through a rough time, and when she curls up next to me at night, I like the sound of her even breathing. I feel like I’m sheltering her, not entertaining her.

That sounds silly. She doesn’t really need a place to sleep. But she does need a friend. And I feel really happy about being that person. Whether she’s moaning in my arms or relaxing on my chest, I feel close to her.

It’s nice. Unexpected, but strangely satisfying. May Shipley scratches an itch that I didn’t know I had.





Chapter Seventeen





Selena: Time for a joke?

May: Always.

Selena: Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one says, "I’ll have a pint of blood." The second one says, "I’ll have one, too." The third one says, "I’ll have a pint of plasma." The bartender says, "So, that’ll be two Bloods and a Blood Lite?"

May: Wow. I don’t know what to say.

Selena: That good, huh?

May: :)

Selena: Question for you about an email I just got. Could it be that I’ve been invited to a baby shower? That has to be an error.

May: Selena! You should be thrilled. Chicks dig baby showers.

Selena: You’re limiting my womanhood by assuming my interest in cis female reproduction.

May: Wow. You’re right. My bad.

Selena: No, seriously. The invitation is a mistake, right? Who would invite me to a baby shower?

May: You’re invited because A) your sister is throwing it, and B) it’s a Jack and Jill.

Selena: ???

May: A shower for both men and women.

Selena: That’s just wrong. Except for real showers with both men and women. Rawrrr. Those are awesome.

May: I predict no nudity at this thing but there’ll be food. Lots of food. And I’m sure alcohol. Not that people mention that to me.

Selena: Should I come?

May: Always. Rawrrr.

Selena: Oh baby. But I meant to the shower. You’re going to be there, right?

May: Yes. And naturally I will be keeping my clothes on the entire time.

Selena: Pity.

May: Of course you’re welcome to come. Show up. You know what I mean.

Selena: So long as I don’t tell anyone about our extracurricular activities.

May: You won’t even be tempted to do that. Baby showers make everyone nosy about your personal life. Picture a wedding on steroids.

Selena: The last time I went to a wedding I asked you to dance.

May: I noticed that. I assumed it was because you felt sorry for me that Daniela was acting like a superbitch.