Sometimes Moments (Sometimes Moments, #1)(73)
“I need to be somewhere,” Peyton said, shifting her attention to Callum.
“Are you okay?” Concern laced Jenny’s voice.
She didn’t take her eyes off Callum as she said, “I just need to be alone for a minute. Do you mind keeping him busy? I won’t be long.”
From the corner of her eye, she could see Jenny nod.
“Thanks, Jenny. I have my phone,” Peyton said before she walked towards the back of the hotel, taking the longer way to town.
The guilt added further pressure to her chest. Peyton hadn’t stepped foot here in a long time. She passed the office and kept walking. When she reached the graves under the large oak tree, she sat on the grass.
As soon as she noticed the cherry blossoms on each of their headstones, she smiled. She didn’t have to guess. Callum had visited her parents’ graves while he had been in town. It touched her heart. He wasn’t the cold, guarded person that he was trying to be. Deep down, he was the Callum she loved. Fears and insecurities hindered his freedom.
“I’m sorry that I haven’t visited in a while. It doesn’t get any easier as the days go by. You probably know that Callum’s back. I fought him off for a while until I realised there was no point fighting or denying my heart. You were right, Mum. Forgive and forget. And you were right, Dad. He came back. I wish you were both here to give me that ‘I told you so’ brag.” She laughed at herself as she wiped her face with the back of her hand.
“You also probably know that last night the hotel burned down.” She paused, her heart now twisted. “I’m so sorry, Mum and Dad. I didn’t mean for this. I didn’t mean for the one thing you both worked so hard for to burn to the ground. I didn’t mean to be a terrible owner. I was going through all this blind. Somehow, I made the choice between the hotel and Callum even before it burned down. And I chose Callum. I’m not sorry for that. I’m just sorry that I let you both down. You’re probably up there disappointed in me for not saving the hotel. I tried. But every time I think I’m on the right track, something goes wrong or I just make a mess. I’m a burden and a liability to the hotel and to this town.”
She ran her hands through her hair and shut her eyelids tightly. “I miss you both. I wish you were here so I could make mistakes and you could teach me how to do it right. I didn’t get a goodbye. I don’t get one more ‘We love you, Peyton.’ I don’t get anything else in life with you. And that’s what makes me hate the hotel and this town. They’re all constant reminders. But now… Now, the hotel’s gone. And soon enough, Callum will be gone, too. I’ve never hated life more than right now. But I’m going to try. I’m going to build our hotel my way, and whether or not I have this town’s support means nothing. I’m doing this for me and for you both. I’m a Spencer, and I’ll be damned if I let a fire take away what we’ve done for this town. I will make this a bright light in a town with so much disbelief. It’ll be like a beacon in the fog,” she promised—not only to her parents, but also to herself.
Minutes turned into two hours as she sat at their graves. She didn’t say anything more. She had neglected to visit because it had been too hard. She had hid in her loneliness, afraid of the world. Peyton reminisced on the good times and what loving parents she’d had. She had been blessed to have them, and even though she hadn’t been able to keep them, she had the memories. She still had the house. That house with the cherry blossom tree in the backyard would always be her home.
Suddenly, she heard the footsteps but didn’t bother turning as someone sat next to her. She didn’t have to know who it was that had followed her to the cemetery. Peyton took his hands and threaded her fingers with his.
This is also home.
“I thought you’d be here,” Callum said.
Peyton shifted her gaze to him and smiled. “Thank you for visiting them,” she said, acknowledging the cherry blossoms.
He let go of her hand and uttered, “It’s been four years. Long overdue,” before he wrapped his arm around her, holding Peyton tight.
She let her head rest on his shoulder. “You’re here now. That’s all that matters.”
They sat quietly with her long-gone loved ones. She had never felt more loved by him than she did in that moment. A moment she thought she’d never have—Callum by her side at her parents’ grave. She memorised the way he breathed, how long he inhaled, and the space of each heartbeat hers made when in his arms. It was about collecting the memories she’d reflect on. The sometimes moments she would appreciate and love later in life.
“I have something for you,” Callum said, breaking their silence.
Peyton straightened her back and turned to face him. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a piece of folded paper. Then he stared at it for a long second before he handed it to her.
Her eyes looked back and forth between Callum and paper, unsure of what it contained. When she unfolded it, her eyes watered at the sight.
“I made it last night while you slept, so it isn’t to scale or anything. I know it’s rough, but it’s just an idea. We’ll work on it,” he said.
Peyton took in the black-ink drawing of a Victorian-inspired building. She looked at the sketched path that led to the entry, and on either side were small drawings of a flower she recognised.