Slammed(84)

So he saw me. He watched me do my piece.

I sense that I'm floating again as I make my way to the center of the room. Everyone is quiet. I look around and all eyes are on me. No one understands what's happening. I'm not so sure I even understand what's happening.

Will looks at the emcee standing next to him. "I'd like to perform a piece. It's an emergency," he says.

The emcee backs away and gives Will the go ahead. Will turns back to face me.

"Three dollars," someone yells from the crowd.

Will darts a look at the emcee. "I don't have any cash," he says.

I immediately pull the two dollars in change out of my pocket and run to the stage, smacking it down in front of the emcees feet. He inspects the money I laid before him.

"Still a dollar short," the emcee says.

The silence in the room is interrupted as several chairs slide from under their tables. There is a faint rumble as people walk toward me. I'm surrounded, being pushed and shoved in different directions as the crowd grows thicker. It begins to disperse just as fast and the silence slowly returns as everyone makes their way back to their seats. I return my gaze to the stage, where dozens of dollar bills are haphazardly thrown at the emcees feet. My eyes follow along as a quarter rolls off the edge of the stage and falls onto the floor. It wiggles and spins as it comes to rest at my foot.

The emcee is focused on the pile of money before him. "Okay," he says. "I guess that covers it. What's the name of your piece, Will?"

Will brings the microphone to his mouth and finds me in the crowd. "Better than third," he says.



I met a girl in a U-Haul.

A beautiful girl

And I fell for her.

I fell hard.

Unfortunately, sometimes life gets in the way.

Life definitely got in my way.

It got all up in my damn way,

Life blocked the door with a stack of wooden 2x4's nailed together and attached to a fifteen inch concrete wall behind a row of solid steel bars, bolted to a titanium frame that no matter how hard I shoved against it-

It



wouldn't

budge.

Sometimes life doesn't budge.

It just gets all up in your damn way.

It blocked my plans, my dreams, my desires, my wishes, my wants, my needs.

It blocked out that beautiful girl

That I fell so hard for.



Life tries to tell you what's best for you

What should be most important to you

What should come in first



Or second



Or third.



I tried so hard to keep it all organized, alphabetized, stacked in chronological order, everything in its perfect space, its perfect place.

I thought that's what life wanted me to do.

This is what life needed for me to do.

Right?

Keep it all in sequence?



Sometimes, life gets in your way.

It gets all up in your damn way.

But it doesn't get all up in your damn way because it wants you to just give up and let it take control. Life doesn't get all up in your damn way because it just wants you to hand it all over and be carried along.

Life wants you to fight it.

Learn how to make it your own.

It wants you to grab an axe and hack through the wood.

It wants you to get a sledgehammer and break through the concrete.

It wants you to grab a torch and burn through the metal and steel until you can reach through and grab it.

Life wants you to grab all the organized, the alphabetized, the chronological, the sequenced. It wants you to mix it all together,

stir it up,

blend it.



Life doesn't want you to let it tell you that your little brother should be the only thing that comes first.

Life doesn't want you to let it tell you that your career and your education should be the only thing that comes in second.

And life definitely doesn't want me



To just let it tell me

that the girl I met,

The beautiful, strong, amazing, resilient girl



That I fell so hard for

Should only come in third.



Life knows.

Life is trying to tell me

That the girl I love,

The girl I fell



So hard for?

There's room for her in first.