Sinner's Revenge (Sinner's Creed MC #2)(89)

I look over at Rookie, who tightens his jaw. “Aw, come on. She’ll probably still love you anyway.”

“I have no problem shooting the head of it off,” he growls.

I laugh, but he finds no humor in my joke. “I get it. No jokes about Carrie. He gets so sensitive,” I say to Diem, who frowns up at me.

“Do you get that defensive when people talk about me?” Oh, for f*ck’s sake.

“Of course I do,” I lie, knowing that I’d find it hilarious if Diem had to put a catheter in Rookie. “Remember the guy with no kneecaps?” I ask, and her frown deepens at the reminder.

“You hungry?” Rookie’s ability to change the subject has me forgiving him completely, if there was any doubt that I hadn’t already.


*

I’m catheter-free thirty minutes later and I still can’t meet Carrie’s eyes. It’s just f*cking weird. She’s unaffected though, proud to see that I didn’t die on her makeshift operating table that was actually my kitchen floor.

We’re eating pizza, everyone reliving the two days I was out. I’m surprised to find that Carrie had to slap Diem to calm her down. I hope like hell she sleeps with a gun. But the news is good for me. I guess Diem really does love me.

It’s the most normal my life has ever been up until the moment Rookie’s phone rings. He walks outside, shooting me a look on the way. I already know it’s Nationals. Following him out on the front porch, I hear the words “I understand” before he hangs up.

“They want us in Jackpot. Tomorrow.” I drop down on the steps. “Shady,” he says, and I glance up at him, getting a sick feeling in my gut at the look on his face. “That ain’t the only problem we have.”

“Shit. What is it?” I ask, waiting for him to walk around so we’re facing each other.

“Diem has to leave the country.” My face falls at his words. “Clark says it isn’t safe for her here. She needs to be gone in a week, tops.”

“How long does she have to stay gone?” He takes a moment to answer, and in his silence, I already know.

“Forever.”


*

“Forever?” Diem asks, even though I’ve already told her twice. We’re in my room while I try to break the news to her as gently as possible. “I’m no coward, Shady. I’m not scared of any of them.”

Grabbing her face with my good hand, I meet her eyes. “I know that. But it’s the only way. If you stay, you’ll spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder.”

“I’m not leaving you,” she says through her teeth, her voice shaky but determined.

I offer her a sad smile. “It’s only for a little while. I’ll come as soon as I sort some things out here.”

“They won’t let you leave. I know it. There is no out for you.” I didn’t know who she’d been talking to, but I would kill them if I ever found out.

“Let me worry about Sinner’s Creed,” I try, but she shakes her head. Not listening.

“I’m not leaving unless you come with me. That’s final.” Giving me a look that confirms it, she adds, “It’s my word.”


*

Later that night, Rookie and I leave Diem and Carrie inside while he helps me pack up my shit in the shed. No matter the outcome, I wouldn’t be coming back here. If Diem had to leave, then I was leaving too. And if the club wouldn’t grant me my freedom, they’d have to kill me. Either way, my home in Hillsborough would only be a memory.

When the announcement is made that I want out, I know he is the one who will take it the hardest. I dread telling him, but he deserves to be the first to know.

“I’m out, Rookie,” I say, taking a seat on my bike and lighting a cigarette.

He straightens, forgetting the box he’d been packing and narrowing his eyes on me. “What?”

“I want out,” I repeat, dropping my eyes. “I love Sinner’s Creed, but I love Diem more. She needs me and damn if I don’t need her too.”

“Shady,” he starts, but I cut him off.

“When Dirk died, I lost something. The club couldn’t fill that void. I tried, but the emptiness was there. Every day I woke up, all I could think about was how incomplete I felt.” I shake my head, remembering the feeling. “Then I found her.” I smile. “From the first moment I saw her, something inside me changed. I still grieved for Dirk, but the pain was bearable. Now the only pain I feel is when she hurts.”

I finally meet his eyes, feeling guilty at the disappointment I see. But if anybody gets me, it’s Rookie. “I’m truly happy for the first time in my life. I want to live without the power and greed and killing. I want something better.”

He nods with understanding. But he’d be a shitty brother if he didn’t at least try to get me to stay. So when he speaks, I’m expecting an alternate solution. But what I get is something else. “I had Carrie before I had the club. For a long time, I thought she was all I needed. But the club gives me something she can’t.” With eyes that beg me to understand, he tells me something I haven’t considered.

“I want you to be happy, Shady. I swear I do. But I’m scared that one day you’ll look back and realize that your new life isn’t everything you thought it would be. Men like us can’t live on love alone. We’re just not made that way.”