Sinner's Creed (Sinner's Creed #1)(6)

When she steps from behind the curtain, I just stand there and appraise her. Her hair is a beautiful mess. Her shorts are short enough to reveal almost all of her thighs and legs, and her white T-shirt is so tight, I can see the outline of her bra beneath it.

“Do you live here?” she asks, and her question should annoy me, but it doesn’t, and I find myself answering her.

“When I’m in town, this is where I sleep.” I don’t know why she chose me to share it with, but I finally get that smile that I’ve dreamed of. It’s not polite or expected. It’s genuine and f*cking breathtaking. It stretches across her face, and I can see the top row of her teeth that are just as perfect as her smile. It makes me want to smile, and I haven’t smiled in a long time.

My face softens, but I hold on to my smile because I’m undeserving of taking any glory from her. Her smile lights up the whole world and mine is nothing in comparison. This is her moment, and I would kill any smiling motherf*cker who walked in this room and tried to take it away.

“You scared my friends last night.” She takes a seat on the bed, looking up at me through her long, mascara-covered lashes. “Well, if you want to call them my friends. They’re more like acquaintances. I thought that guy deserved what he got. I’d just met him that night. He had no right to try to claim me as his. I can’t even remember his name.” She doesn’t know me, but she knows what I’m capable of. Yet she never hesitated to come here with me. Hell, she practically begged for it.

I want to know her reasons. I want to know why she is putting such trust in a man that looks like me, acts like me, and has a reputation like mine. If just the sight of my patches scared her, then she was aware of the bad rep bikers had. It didn’t matter if the stereotype proved to be true or not. As an outsider, she knew the risks. She knew the difference between us and our two worlds.

I was the predator and she was the prey. I was the shark and she was the bait. I was the demon-possessed monster and she was the innocent, na?ve angel. I could almost envision the sight of her white feathered wings trapped by the large, sharp jaws of my mouth. Shit like this didn’t happen. Nobody could be as perfect as she seemed to be and still want something to do with an imperfection like myself.

I watch her stand, crossing her arms over her chest while she walks around the small room, having nothing to look at but cinder block wall, white-tiled ceilings, and concrete floors. But she seems intrigued by them.

“Sometimes I dream of you, Dirk.” I feel something shift inside me. “Sometimes I swear I can even feel you lying next to me at night.” She runs her hand over the wall, looking up at the ceiling and avoiding my stare. I’d dreamed of her too. I’ve never had the feeling be strong enough that I could actually feel her, but I’ve imagined for years what it would be like to have her laying next to me. On the darkest nights, when sleep refused to take me, my mind would always drift to her. Those dreams I controlled, but even in my imagination, I never felt worthy enough to touch her.

“Do you remember the second time I saw you?”

“Yes.” How could I forget? I remembered every time I saw her.

“I was beginning to think that maybe I’d imagined you. That the man in my dreams was a myth—something my subconscious created to help me forget what happened that night before I saw you.” I want to know what happened, but I can tell that she’s not going to tell me. Her eyes darken at just the memory, and my blood pumps faster at the thought of someone hurting her.

“It was like you knew that I was beginning to forget you, so you showed up to prove to me that you were real. Then . . .” She pauses, fidgeting with her shirt. It seems like forever passes before she speaks again. “You came to my job. They were firing me that night. They’d just told me to finish out my song requests and leave. I was crushed. My music career was over, just like that.” She snaps her fingers and smiles. There is no look of defeat or failure on her face, only happiness. “You reminded me that I have a bigger purpose in this world, other than singing. So, believe what you want. But to me, you’re an angel.”

Pride swells in my chest, but I quickly push it back down. I couldn’t be that for her. Her expectations were too high for a man like me. I was a murderer, a thief, and a liar. I didn’t just kill, I tortured. I didn’t steal from the rich and give to the poor, I took what I wanted and I kept it for myself. Little white lies were the same as big ones to me. The only people I’d never lied to were my brothers. And I’d never lied to her. But I would, if she ever f*cked up and asked the wrong questions.

“I need something from you, Dirk. I need something that only you can give me.” This time, her eyes meet mine and she is battling with her pride. She wants to ask, but either she’s afraid of rejection, or she doesn’t want to show any more weakness. I can’t be her angel, but I can’t deny her either. It doesn’t matter what she asks, I’ll do it.

“Anything.” My voice is low and gruff, and can barely be heard over the screaming in my head. I’m f*cking up. I shouldn’t do this. But my want is too powerful to listen to rational thought. It overrides my mind, controls my actions, and beats the hell out of my better judgment. I want to give her this. And I will.

“This goes against everything I believe. My morals, my ethics, and my desire to uphold his will in who he wants me to be. Dirk, I want you to hold me tonight. I just want you to hold me and kiss me and help me forget everything. I know it’s selfish, but is it too much to ask?” Her voice is thick and emotional. I know she’s gonna break down again. I don’t know what she wants to forget. But I’ll make sure she does. I don’t know who he is. I don’t know what control he has over her life. But tonight, she doesn’t want him. She wants me.