Sinner's Creed (Sinner's Creed #1)(37)
“I bet I could tame your appetite and your hair.”
“Dirk, where is the bathroom?” Saylor is at my side with her hand on my arm before I can react to Chaps’s comment. Jimbo stands between me and Chaps with his back to me, blocking my view of the motherf*cker I want to hurt. Bad.
“Dirk?” Saylor’s pleading voice is more powerful than any thought or feeling inside me. I turn to look at her and she shakes her head, begging me to keep my cool. “Please show me to the bathroom.”
I look back at Chaps, but all I see is the back of Jimbo’s cut. He is saying something to Chaps, and if any of them are smart, they will put him in his place before I do.
I grab Saylor’s hand in mine, letting every-f*cking-body know that she is with me, and lead her inside. When she goes to piss, I walk in with her. She stands at the sink, taking deep breaths and playing with the necklace at her throat. “Dirk, I really need you to keep your shit together.” Her choice of words are not very wise.
“Nobody talks to what’s mine like that. Nobody. I don’t give a f*ck who it is. He’ll be lucky if he walks out of here.” I’m growling and I don’t want to. I’m in her face and I shouldn’t be. Her flinch is the only thing that makes me realize my actions.
“Dirk, I’m trying really hard here to make this right. You have no idea what I’ve sacrificed to fix my mistake. All I’m asking is that you try and control your temper. They’re just words.” Her breathing is fast and she looks like she wants to cry. She knows nothing about sacrifice. I was willing to give up everything I’ve ever known for her. The last person she wants to talk to about sacrifice is me.
“This is my club. You are my problem. If you make a mistake, I’ll fix it. Words will get you hurt just as fast as actions with me. Don’t act like you know them, Saylor, because you f*cking don’t.” I spit my words at her. There is so much malice and force behind them that I find myself taking a step back to keep them from physically hurting her. But Saylor doesn’t want space between us. She closes the distance and I feel her finger in my chest as she speaks.
“Don’t you yell at me,” she says, her voice quiet but shaky with anger. “I know you’re mad about what he said. I know you’re mad because you can’t control the situation. I know it drives you crazy to know that I might be in danger. But have you ever thought about how I feel? If I lose you, then I lose everything. Do you have any idea how infuriating it is to know that you could be taken from me, all because you’re a jealous * and can’t keep your temper in check?” She stares at me and I wonder if she wants an answer. But I’m too angry to say anything else. If I do, she might just get her feelings hurt, and I know better than anyone that words are something you can’t take back.
She takes a deep breath and releases it, trying to calm her temper, I think. But when she grits her teeth before she speaks, and pokes me hard in my sternum, I know it didn’t work.
“Now, I’m going to have a drink at the bar. And if you really want to protect me, then be smart and protect yourself. Because if they hurt you, then I’ll give them no choice but to hurt me too.”
Saylor storms out of the bathroom, leaving me so f*cking confused and horny that I’m tempted to go to the bar and drag her back in here just so I can f*ck her.
I light a cigarette and close my eyes, willing my mind to slow down and process her words. It’s never occurred to me until this moment that she cares for me just as much as I care for her. She doesn’t want to lose me. She doesn’t want me to do anything stupid because she doesn’t want to lose everything. That everything is me.
From what I know of Saylor, she is fully capable of doing something crazy to protect me. She already has. It wasn’t as extreme as this, but it kept me from killing a gas station attendant and some horny independents.
Images of Saylor waving a gun around and bashing heads with a beer bottle are not something I want to see in real life. Chaps was testing me. Pushing me to my limits. He knows he struck a nerve and he is likely to try it again. As much as I would like to kill him for his comment, I want Saylor more. So much more that I am willing to swallow my pride and give Chaps a warning, which is all I need to do. If he f*cks up after that, the club will know he was given a chance and will back me if it gets physical.
I look at myself in the mirror, and the man looking back at me isn’t the same man he once was. I open the bathroom door and scan the room, spotting Saylor’s curls immediately. She is sitting with the ol’ ladies at the bar, drinking and laughing. She is happy. She is safe. She is mine. And nothing else really matters.
Chaps is pissed when I walk back outside. I notice the amount of people have doubled while I’ve been gone. They are expecting me to retaliate. I look into every set of eyes around me. The men sent to stop me glare at me murderously, and I’m sure they are pumping themselves up in their heads.
Roach sits expressionless, waiting for me to strike. Once it is stopped, he will confront me, but even he knows not to step in now.
Jimbo looks pissed. By the way his nostrils flare each time he looks at Chaps, I know his anger isn’t directed at me. This could happen how they all expect it to. If it did, I would walk up to Chaps and immediately throw the first punch.
Since he is on his feet, I know it’s what he’s predicting and maybe even what he wants. If this was a regular chapter member, there wouldn’t be an issue. But, this is a National. A man who worked hard to get where he is and is one of the most respected men in the club. And because it’s me who he is up against, everyone knows shit can get bad really fast. They know I couldn’t give a f*ck less about his title, and we have history. I won’t do what I’m known for; I’ll do what is right by Saylor. Then Chaps calls me out.