Sinner's Creed (Sinner's Creed #1)(15)
“I don’t have anyone to tell, Dirk. It’s just me.” She is being honest, but I have to be sure.
“You have friends.” She rolls her eyes at my words.
“Friends? Define ‘friends.’ I have two and they are in Europe. Nobody knows where I am, Dirk. Just me and you.” My anger fades a little. Not enough for her to notice, but enough for me to not want to rip this pump out of the ground and throw it through the building.
“Where is your phone?” I demand, and she takes a step toward me. I don’t move, but I should. I’m too mad for her to be close, but f*ck she smells good.
“Do you know what would’ve happened if you hadn’t come back when you did?” I search her face, wondering if she wants an answer or if she just wants to remind me what a f*ckup I am. She wants neither.
“I would have left. You know I was planning on leaving that day. I had to get outta there, Dirk. I had to leave. Whether it was with you or on my own, I was gone. There are three people in this world that really mean something to me. The two that I really mean something to are in Europe for the summer. It’s not their job to keep tabs on me; they’ve never been able to. It wouldn’t be surprising to them to find me gone. I don’t work, I’m not enrolled in classes right now, and there is nothing about me not being home that will throw up a red flag to anyone. Nobody is gonna miss me, Dirk. If that pathetic reason isn’t enough to convince you why I thought this trip was a good idea, then nothing is. And to answer your question, my phone is at my house, on my dresser. Right where I left it.” She walks past me toward the store, and the need for her to answer the question that is pounding in my head outweighs the need to remain myself—the man who never asks questions.
“What about the third?” I call out to her. “What about the third person who really means something to you?” She turns and her voice carries across the parking lot and flows through my ears like honey.
“I’m looking at him.”
I’m putting my life and Saylor’s on the line, and all I have to go on is her word. If she lied to me, I would be crushed. Her word means more to me than any man’s. I trust her like I trust my brothers. Many of them have the power to put me behind bars for the rest of my life. She has the power to put me in the grave.
I made a decision long ago to trust my brothers. I knew it would be worth the risk because I couldn’t live life without the Sinner’s Creed MC. Today, right now, I make the same decision to trust Saylor, because I can’t live life without her either. And I still don’t know why.
—
The tank is full. I’ve smoked two cigarettes. I’ve done a pretty good job of sorting shit out in my head. It’s been over twenty minutes and Saylor still hasn’t returned. I’m getting worried. And I gotta piss. I scan the store and I don’t see her. When I stop outside the women’s bathroom, I hear her voice. She is whispering, and I make out my name in her hushed words. I see red. She lied. She is on the f*cking phone. She is talking to someone about me. I should just leave, but the pain in my chest is knee weakening. And it makes me angry.
So f*cking angry that I kick the door in. And then I see her. She is on her knees, in this shitty-ass bathroom, and she is . . . praying. Her face is panicked when she sees mine, not that I blame her.
I have to hold on to the doorjamb to keep from passing out. That’s how relieved and ashamed I feel. I don’t pray, but I respect people who do. I disrespected her. Shame is not something I have felt in a really long time, but it is here now and it’s worse than I remember it.
“I was j-just . . .” She is stuttering. Not in an indignant way, but because she doesn’t know what to say. But I do.
“I’ll wait outside.” I turn to leave and I see the clerk picking up the phone. She is going to call the cops. I could rip out the phone lines, but she has seen my face. I would have to kill her, and I don’t want to. She is an older woman, and I’m sure she hasn’t done anything that warrants death. Her life is more valuable than the one I will take tomorrow, but what about all the people that will suffer because I don’t do my job?
There are no cameras. I knew that before I chose to stop. I’m looking at her, and her face is white. She looks like she is going to pass out.
“Dirk.” I hear Saylor’s pained voice from behind me and I see her on the floor. I forget the clerk and rush to her. She looks fine, other than the twisted look of agony on her face.
“Is something wrong?” the clerk asks, her voice shaky and cautious. She has made her way over to us with the phone still in her hand, but she hasn’t dialed any numbers.
“I have low blood sugar. I almost passed out. That’s why he kicked the door in; I wouldn’t answer him.” She is looking at me when she says this, and I know she is doing it to save my ass. What she doesn’t realize is that it is the clerk’s life she is really saving.
“Oh thank God!” I turn to see the clerk clutching her chest in relief. “I thought he was going to kill you or something!” I ignore her comment and look back at Saylor. “I almost called the cops!” This woman is getting on my f*cking nerves, and Saylor notices.
“Will you help me up?” she asks, and she is trying to fight a smile. I haul her from the floor and when she is on her feet, I take her hand in mine. I survey the door, and it is still in one piece. The only damage is to the cheap eye hook that has been ripped from the doorjamb.