Sincerely, The Puck Bunny (Totally Pucked #2)(48)

“Honestly, it’s a little alarming that someone so little can cause this much damage.” Graham looks at me in horror. “Briggs… I think it’s on the ceiling. How in the fuck did it get up there? Oh god, that’s it, I’m barfing.”

He runs out the front door like it’s on fire. I can hear him actually throwing up outside, and if everything in the room, including me and Olive, weren’t covered in shit, I’d probably laugh at the ridiculousness of this situation.

I take a figurative deep breath, since I can’t actually breathe in right now, and look at Asher. “I’m going to put her in the sink, go turn the water on and make sure it’s lukewarm, not hot. Hurry.”

He nods, and sprints toward the kitchen. I’m holding Olive out in front of me with extended arms, careful not to touch anything else, including myself, with her and her explosion.

“I’ll get a towel,” Hudson says.

Finally, one of them uses their brain.

“Alright Olive. Not going to lie, baby girl, you took us by surprise with this shit bomb, I mean, poop bomb. So, we’re going to have to take some drastic measures.”

Not that she has any actual idea what I’m saying, she’s just staring at me like I’ve lost my damn mind. It’s amazing how, in just under two months, she’s changed. Every day I think she looks more and more like Maddison, and every day, I fall more in love with her.

“Ready,” Asher calls from the kitchen.

I carry Olive through the living room into the kitchen, where Asher is waiting with the warm water running and the sink sprayer in hand.

“When in doubt, spray.”

“That’s not a thing.” I shake my head.

He shrugs. “It is a thing. I made it a thing.”

“Got it!” Hudson comes sliding into the kitchen with a towel and wash rag in hand, and then… we get to work.

Asher sprays Olive’s legs, and chunks of poop scatter in the sink, running in disgusting rivets down her legs, as he gags dramatically.

Barely keeping it together, he mutters, “Oh god, this is really fucking bad. Why did you think we could handle this? We can’t handle this, man. Are you okay, Olive? How’s our girl doing?”

Olive coos in response to him, offering a cheeky toothless grin. How ironic that we’re all about to die, and the culprit is smiling and giggling like she knows exactly what she’s doing.

Rotten thing.

Literally.

“Just keep spraying. We’ll get the majority off of her. What did YouTube say? Should we torch the outfit? Is it salvageable? I mean… can you even wash this out?” I look at Hudson, who’s shrugging. “Fuck, this is one of Maddison’s favorite outfits.” It’s frilly and girly and shit.

The exact thing women love, and if Maddison finds out that I let it get destroyed in an act of war, she’ll probably never leave me home with Olive again.

I groan. I feel like I’m failing, even though I’m giving it everything I’ve got. I just hope that Olive and Maddison both realize it.

Graham reappears in the kitchen, still looking a bit green. He keeps his distance by the doorway, with his hand covering his mouth.

“Why is it so… green?”

I shrug. “I don’t know, probably something from the breast milk.”

Together, Asher and I manage to get most of the poop off of her, so with two fingers, I carefully begin removing the outfit, as best as I can, making sure I don’t drop her in the process.

“Olive, I hope you know how much we love you,” Hudson tells her, as I get off the outfit and hand it over to him.

He walks out of the room and then returns with her baby body wash, something I forgot in the process of trying to get her hosed off.

Somehow, a damn miracle in itself, we get her completely clean, get the shit off of every surface that we possibly can, and then I feed her a bottle. She’s asleep, clutching my finger on my chest, when the guys pile onto the furniture next to us. Graham sprawls on the floor while Hudson and Asher flank each side of me.

“That was traumatizing. Not going to lie,” Graham says, staring at the ceiling flat on his back.

“Don’t be dramatic, it was just a little poop,” I retort.

Hudson’s brows rise in shock. “If that was your definition of a little, I’d hate to see a lot. That was an explosion. Don’t downplay what we went through.”

I laugh, causing Olive to stir on my chest. I rub my thumb along the smooth, baby soft skin of her cheeks, gazing down at her.

“How are things going anyway? With Maddison?” Asher asks.

I shrug. “I don’t know. We’re co-parenting Olive. She’s not interested in… rekindling things. Hell, I don’t even know how to define what that weekend was. I just know she said she wants to keep things uncomplicated and focus on Olive, which I respect. It’s just… I don’t know, now more than ever, I want her. I want her even more than I did after the weekend we spent together.”

Whipping his head toward me, Graham abruptly sits up. “The real question is, do you want to be with Maddison? Even if there was no Olive, sorry baby girl, would you still want to be with her?”

I don’t hesitate, or even need to think about it. I already know the answer. “Without a doubt. All Olive did was cement my feelings toward her. Man... it’s just, it’s amazing seeing them together. Knowing we made this amazing little girl together. And we co-parent together so well, everything just feels so easy. We just, I don’t know, click.”