Sin & Suffer (Pure Corruption MC #2)(44)

Arthur sighed. “Even apart we were still living with the same trials. Both alone—just in different ways.”

We slipped into silence as I accepted a pair of chopsticks, then scooted off the countertop to sit at the breakfast bar. Sliding onto high stools, we sat haloed in light from three glass-domed Edison bulbs.

Arthur waited until I’d sat and devoured a few mouthfuls of his incredible dish before saying, “So … tell me. What have you been up to the past few years?”

I was mesmerized by his expert use of chopsticks and the way his throat tensed as he swallowed.

I laughed even as my heart thundered. “We’re truly doing this?”

He frowned. “Doing what?”

“Getting to know each other.”

Putting down his chopsticks, his forehead furrowed. “Not getting to know you, Buttercup. I already know your soul. It’s been mine since I set eyes on you. But I want to know the type of existence you had when I wasn’t there. I want to decide if I should be pissed off with your foster family for keeping your memories hostage, or silently grateful that they gave you a better life than the one you would’ve had if you’d remembered.”

The ache returned full force. I rubbed my chest with the heel of my palm. “Every time you do that I feel terrible.”

“Do what?”

Our banter dissolved, showing black and white beneath the colors of where we’d been living. We loved each other. It was undeniable. But where our souls remembered and adored, our personalities had evolved due to circumstances beyond our power.

We’re strangers.

“Remind me that it was me who left you.” My skin flashed with heat. “I know you don’t mean it, but it hurts to think it was my fault—”

Arthur slammed his hands on the marble. “None of this is your fault, Cleo.”

I hung my head, poking my noodles with no appetite.

How had this happened again? Could we not talk about anything without bringing up the past and ruining our simple fun?

Taking my hand, he rubbed his thumb over my knuckles. His eyes were strained and hollow. “Forget all of that. I want to know about you. Just you.”

“There isn’t really much to tell.” Bravery strengthened my resolve as Arthur smiled encouragingly.

Okay … I guess we’re talking. Truly talking. For the first time in eight years.

Trying to tame my heart from kicking with first date nerves, I sucked in a breath. “I suppose, in a nutshell, I achieved the dreams I set for myself. I graduated and earned my veterinary degree. I—” Cutting myself off, I waved my hand. “You know all this. I feel like I’m repeating myself.” I stabbed the chopsticks in his direction. “What about you? I want to know about you.”

He shrugged. “Prison. Revenge. That’s all there is to know about me.” His words were simple but his eyes were complicated.

Shaking my head, I smiled sadly. “Not true. Where did you learn to cook like this? Did someone teach you?” My heart fisted as I asked. I knew he hadn’t slept with other women for affection but there might’ve been someone—a friend—someone who’d replaced me in some capacity, if not all.

Arthur took another bite, taking his time to chew. The longer he made me wait, the worse my suspicion grew. Oh, God, he does have someone close to him.

His eyes darkened. “You’re asking if a woman taught me this, right?”

I flinched. Yes. “No. I just—there’s so much about you that I missed out on. Tell me something—anything.” Tell me that no one else mattered but me.

He ran a hand through his hair, wincing as his fingers found the bump of his concussion. “Okay … I’ll put your mind at ease.” His lips curled, deliberately leaving me hanging.

“And …” I leaned forward, panting for his next word.

“I took a Thai cooking class.” He popped a bean sprout into his mouth.

“You took a class?” Huh. Not quite what I expected. Tilting my head, I waited for him to carry on. “When?”

“A few years ago.” Shifting under my reproachful stare, he continued. “When Pure Corruption was operating smoothly and my trades were finally paying dividends, I had this insatiable need to run. Everything was moving forward, life was getting better, and I f*cking hated it because I felt like I was betraying your memory.” His voice thickened. “I often found myself at the airport, staring at the flight departures, wondering if I just switched off my thoughts I could somehow chase your ghost around different continents.”

My heart demolished into dust. “Arthur.”

He didn’t hear me. Throwing me a self-abasing smile, he said, “That day, I couldn’t return to Pure Corruption or the brand-new mansion I’d bought with cash. I felt like a fraud—like my life wasn’t my own anymore. So, I jumped on the next departing plane.”

My tongue was a brick.

His gaze met mine, his face heavy with the past. “I didn’t even know where I was headed until we touched down in Bangkok, Thailand. I had nothing packed and only a newly minted passport in my pocket …” His voice dwindled off, reliving those moments of exploration. “I’d wanted to feel excitement, freedom. But all I felt was loneliness.” His head dropped, his long hair curtaining his eyes. “I was so f*cking lonely, Cleo.”