Shut Out (Bayard Hockey #1)(34)

She laughs. “Okay, yeah, I get it.” She tilts her head. “Thank you, Jacob.”

“You’re welcome. I’m not just a pretty face, you know.”

“Or a hot body.”

I frown.

“I mean, you do have a pretty face and a hot body,” she hastens to assure me. “Well, not pretty.” Her cheeks turn pink. “Never mind. Thank you. I still think this is the stupidest subject on the planet.”

“Anytime, gorgeous.” I squint at her. “But why are you doing something you hate?”

“I told you before. I have to get into med school.”

I don’t get it. I mean, I get having a goal and being dedicated to it. Totally get that. But it has to be something you love. “I don’t think this is making you happy.”

She sighs. “How can physics ever make someone happy?”

“Well, when I shoot the puck into the boards and I know the angle it’s going to come off and where it’s going to be and—”

She holds up a hand. “Okay, it makes you happy. It gives me a headache.”

I gaze at her sadly. “Really?”

She has a furrow between her eyebrows and her lips are tight. I don’t like this look on her. She gives a short nod. “Sometimes it seems so impossible.” She bites her lip. “I know I’m not the smartest person in the world, but it shouldn’t be this hard.”

“Fuck that.” Oops. I glance around as heads lift. I lower my voice. “You are so smart.”

“No, I’m not. I mean, I’m not stupid. I just have to work at it.”

Dismay makes my insides tighten. “No. It shouldn’t be that hard.”

Her eyes flash and her lips tighten even more. “Sometimes things are hard, Jacob. Sometimes you have to work for what you want.”

I feel like I’ve been smacked. She doesn’t know how hard I’ve worked for what I want. But for me, it doesn’t feel like work—because I love it. It’s what I want to do more than anything. So yeah, I don’t totally get where she’s coming from. “I guess I see it differently.” I try not to sound stiff.

She sighs again. “I know. You’re a hockey player. Your passion is a game. But med school is serious.”

Now I frown. “Hockey is serious too.”

She laughs. “It’s not quite the same.”

Fuck this. I think she’s awesome, but right now I’m getting pissed off. I wasn’t in the best of moods when we arrived. I’ve been processing the stuff I heard during that orientation training, trying to make sense of it, especially in the context of the shit that happened to me. And now I’m being insulted?

“Okay.” I flip my book shut. I’m getting f*ck all done here, anyway. “Glad to know your opinion.” I glance around. “A few people saw us here together, so that’s good. People know we’re together. Probably no need to see each other until next weekend.”

Her eyes widen and her lower lip parts from the top one.

“If I’m going out somewhere, I’ll let you know. It’ll be good to have a fake girlfriend to keep the puck bunnies away. Thanks, babe.”

I shove my things into my messenger bag. I round the table, bend down to give her cheek a kiss for the benefit of anyone watching us, then stride out of the library.





Chapter 13


Skylar


After Jacob leaves, I have to fight back tears. I’m not sure why. He was angry. I didn’t mean to insult him or his sport. But he doesn’t get why I need to do this. Why I make my head hurt trying to understand physics. And chemistry. Why I have to work my ass off to keep up with my sister.

He thinks life should be easy. Well, it’s not.

Maybe for him everything is easy. He has loads of talent. One day he’ll be a superstar professional athlete making millions of dollars. It’s not f*cking fair that physics is easy for him too. One guy shouldn’t get that much luck.

I stare blindly at my textbook. Dammit, I need to concentrate. I can’t let myself be distracted again this year. Last year it was Brendan. I can’t let Jacob destroy another school year.

A small voice inside reminds me that Jacob isn’t doing anything to destroy my school year; it’s me who’s in control of that. I have to be strong enough and disciplined enough not to be distracted by him.

I can do it.

I stay at the library until it closes at ten. Then I go home. Ella has gone to visit her parents because tonight is their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary party. Natalie and Brooklyn are out. The house is empty. Just like it was last night when Jacob brought me home and when we had that hot non-sex on the couch.

I ignore the living room and walk into the kitchen. I open the fridge. I don’t know what I’m looking for. I’m not really hungry or thirsty. Okay, I’m looking for comfort food. I close the door and open the freezer. Pretty barren. Just as well.

I mix up a jug of strawberry Kool-Aid and pour myself a glass. Then I remember Jacob teasing me about drinking Kool-Aid.

Ugh. Stop thinking about him!

You’d think we were really dating and had broken up or something, I feel so down. I’ll see him again, if he needs my fake girlfriend services. That thought doesn’t really cheer me up. Maybe he’s so mad he’ll decide he doesn’t want my fake girlfriend services anymore.