Shoulda Been a Cowboy (Rough Riders #7)(78)

The sobs abated. Cam pushed the thick blonde hair from Anton’s damp forehead. “So, sport, you wanna tell me what really happened?”


Anton vehemently shook his head. “You’ll think I’m bad.”


“No, I won’t.”


The kid’s internal debate lasted barely fifteen seconds. “When my mom left me at Domini’s, I was mad at her about him. I wouldn’t kiss her goodbye when I got out of the car. I wouldn’t hug her either. And now I’ll never get the chance to hug her or kiss her again! Or tell her I’m sorry and I didn’t mean it!”


Cam’s heart ripped in two. The burden Anton carried was heavy for anyone, but for a confused seven-year-old kid it probably felt like the end of the world. In some ways, it had been the end of his world as he’d known it. No wonder he’d been acting out—he’d been reaching out. “Have you talked to anyone else about what happened? Maybe your teacher?”


“No.”


“Why not Domini?”


“Because I don’t want her to think I’m bad.”


“But it doesn’t matter if I think you’re bad?”


“You already think I’m bad. You were mad about Gracie. You don’t talk to me unless I say something to hurt Domini’s feelings and then you get mad at me. You think I’m a pig and you get mad at me when your house is a mess.”


Dammit. Cam’s cheeks burned with pure shame. Why did he think the kid wouldn’t notice or care about his distant behavior? Had Domini noticed?


Yes.


Cam would be wise to remember the only reason Domini had agreed to marry him…was standing right in front of him sobbing his heart out. If Cam couldn’t come to terms with Anton, he’d lose Domini.



You deserve to lose her. You took advantage of her. She never wanted the marriage or you. She just wanted Anton.


“Sorry I hit you and stuff,” Anton said quietly, interrupting Cam’s derisive thoughts. “I thought it was just like before. With him.”


“I know. Apology accepted, okay?”


“Okay.”


“Look, sport, maybe I have been ignoring you. It ain’t because I think you’re bad, it’s just…well, I haven’t spent a lot of time with kids.”


“What about Ky?”


“Sure, my brothers and cousins have kids, but bein’ around them for a couple of hours once a month isn’t like living with them. When I was growing up, my dad was either yelling at me or ignoring me. So maybe I thought ignoring you was better than yelling, but now I can see that isn’t any better.”


“What did your dad yell at you about?”


“Mostly about not getting my chores done.”


“Do you really got a fake leg?”


For once Cam didn’t mind the abrupt subject change. “Yep.”


“Huh.”


Cam half-expected him to ask to see it.


“There’s a kid at my school that gots a fake arm.” Anton squinted at Cam’s leg. “But he doesn’t hide it. Why do you hide yours?”


Because I’m embarrassed. “Because it makes people uncomfortable. And because I’m a cop, everyone is already on edge around me, so it’s easier not to draw attention to it.”


“Jeffrey doesn’t care. He just whips it off in class. He scares the girls because it grosses them out.”


Yeah, it’d probably gross them out long past second grade.


“One time, he hit Doug in the butt with it. He got sent to the principal’s office for that.”


“I imagine so.”


“He said his dad doesn’t whip him anymore ’cause he feels sorry for him. When you were bad as a kid, did your dad whip you?”


“Nope. I didn’t lose my leg until a couple years ago. Besides, there were a lot of other shitty things he could make us do to get his point across that didn’t involve smacking us.”


“Like what?”


“Like the same kind of consequences I’m gonna give you for whaling on me today.”


Anton looked afraid again.


“You’re on dog doo-doo duty, which means you’re gonna pick up all of Gracie’s dog crap in the backyard and haul it to the hole behind that big tree over there.” Cam pointed to a half-dead elm. “I ain’t talking about it bein’ a one time thing, neither.”


“Really? Like chores I hafta do all the time?”


Why did the kid sound so…happy about doing chores? “Yeah, why?”


“Kids at school talk about having to do chores when they get home.”


“Plenty of chores around here.”


Anton smiled sweetly, maybe for the first time since Cam had known him. “I can do chores. Sometimes I help Domini sweep up at Dewey’s.”


“You’ll be on broom detail then. As for your other consequence, I’m gonna hafta take the TV outta your room.”


“Oh, man.” Anton’s shoulders slumped. “Really?”