Shine Not Burn(62)

Candice: Okay, you know I was only kidding about the bitch thing, right? Call me. Bitch.

I smiled as I pressed her number. Bradley could wait. The office could wait. I hadn’t talked to my best friend in months.

“Hello? Is this really you?” Candice said, nearly yelling.

“Yes, it’s really me.” I didn’t realize until just then how much I’d missed her craziness.

“And you’re calling me from Oregon and Bradley’s not with you, right?”

“Yep, that’s right.”

“Squeeeeee!!!” The phone dropped and I heard a loud bang and then some rustling around. “Oops, sorry about that,” she said, now slightly breathless. “I just lost my shit for a second there. Did you break up? Are you running after twooo wuvv?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Ruby told me everything. Come on, fess up. What’s he like? Did he flip his cowboy hat when you showed up?”

My heart was racing. “Hold on a second, Candice. How do you know all this stuff? No one knows about this, not even Ruby. All she did was make my travel arrangements.”

She snorted. “As if. Have you forgotten who you work for?”

“Umm… no.” What could my law firm have to do with any of this?

“Ruby. You work for Ruby. Ruby knows all, Ruby sees all, Ruby tells me all. Ruby has the password to your computer files, duh.”

I closed my eyes and sighed, putting all my frustration, worry, and feelings of helplessness into it.

“Are you pissed? Don’t be pissed at her. She was just doing you a big, fat favor, believe me.”

“What did she do?” The words would barely come out.

“Nothing. She just told me and Kelly what’s what so we could, you know, help if necessary.”

I rested my forehead in my hand. “Believe me, your help is the last thing I need.”

“Please don’t hang up,” she begged. “I finally got you back, I wouldn’t be able to take it if you dumped me again.”

“Dumped you?” I sat up again. She was making no sense.

“Yes. Dumped me.” She felt very strongly about this apparently. “Ever since you started dating that Bradley, you dumped all your friends. Or did you not notice that you have zero normal people in your life anymore?”

Putting Candice in the category of normal was like putting Ruby in the category of shy privacy-respecting people, and that was a load of cow poo. “I did notice that you and I haven’t had lunch in ages.”

“Ages? Try a year, my friend. A full f*cking year. And now look … you made me cuss! You totally made me break my vow not to cuss this week. I hope you’re happy. Anyway, enough of that … tell me about your man.”

I felt like crying. “He’s not my man. I’m waiting for him to sign the divorce papers.”

“So you really did marry him,” she whispered. “Oh my god, that’s so romantic!” She squeed again, but thankfully this time not right in my ear.

When she came back I clarified. “It’s not romantic, it’s awful. It’s terrible-awful.” Tears rushed to my eyes.

“Oh, sweetie, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

“I’m not,” I insisted, wiping tears off my cheeks. “I’m just frustrated.”

“Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on. I’m sure I can help.”

“You can’t, you really can’t. It’s just … very complicated.”

“Tell me! I’m good with people. I can help you un-complicate it, I promise. Please-please-please-please-pleeeeaaase?”

She wore me down with her begging, and I really did need to get the secret off my chest. It was killing me to have no one to talk sense into me. “Okay fine. Apparently I married him two years ago, after you left us and we had crazy monkey sex.”

“Oh, man. That must have been some pretty amazing stuff to make you go marry the guy.”

“I know, right? I have no idea what happened though, because the next day he was gone.”

“Where did he go?”

“I have no idea! I found a claim check in the room and called the front desk. They said he came and got his bags from downstairs and left with them. I never heard from him again, so I don’t know anything else.”

“And since you didn’t remember getting married, you did nothing.”

“Right. I mean, I was kind of sad he didn’t call or anything, but I moved on. You know I had the Luke thing to deal with and then … well, life got in the way.”

She snorted. “You mean your stupid lifeplan got in the way. When are you going to throw that thing in the shredder and get on with your real life? Life unscripted?”

“I don’t know,” I said in a weak voice.

“Well, hey now, that’s progress! That’s the first time I’ve ever heard you even consider shredding the Dark Forces. Good for you! I think maybe Oregon is good for you.”

I laughed. “Dark Forces?”

“Yes,” she said with conviction. “That damn lifeplan has done nothing but lead you down the wrong path since day one. Dark Forces. Devil in disguise.”

“It got me into college and law school.”

“Granted, it got you into college which is where you met me and Kelly, but other than that, pooey. What did law school ever do for you other than turn you into a cold-hearted, analytical bitch?”