Shimmy Bang Sparkle(65)
“Tell me,” I whispered, barely louder than the sound of the wind in the trees.
“I want a promise from you that when it’s all done, that won’t be the end of you and me.”
The very idea of it made my heart sink. I tried to pull my head away so I could look at him, but we were wrapped up so tightly together that I couldn’t. So instead, I held him tighter. I pressed my ear close against his chest and focused on that steady thump-thump-thump. He made me feel so happy. He made me feel so good. I never wanted to let go of him, and for a long moment I wished we could stay just like that forever. “I promise.”
“Then I’m your man,” he said, giving me another long and tender kiss on my temple. “For this. For that. For everything.”
After we did the dishes and got Priscilla settled in her bed inside, snuggled up next to the BE MINE pillow, Nick took my hand and led me back outside into the cool, fresh fall air. He guided me around to the back of the RV and climbed up the roof ladder, offering his hand to me when he got to the top. It reminded me of climbing out of a pool, the metal and plastic rickety like that. But on top, it was perfect. From up there, we could see past the apricot trees, and there was not a single light in either direction, an unbroken cloudless night, with a sliver of moon to the east.
He led me to the middle of the rooftop and wrapped me in his arms. He didn’t kiss me; he just held me, like he was cherishing me almost. “When was the last time you really looked up at the stars?” he asked, smoothing my hair off to one side. I looked up at the sky, at the swirls and sparkles. The Milky Way was a smudgy fog in the darkness, visible because there was no big city for miles and miles around.
To me, it was all magical chaos. “All I can find is the Big Dipper. But when I was little, my grandpa used to say this thing.” I remembered it so clearly, I could almost hear my grandpa’s voice in my ears right then and feel the way he’d always make sure the covers were smooth and straight. “He’d tuck me in and he’d say, ‘Go out there and bite the stars. For me.’”
Nick paused, like he was turning it over in his head. It was one of the things I was growing to like best about him—that thoughtfulness. The way he took it all in. “I love that.”
“Me too,” I said. “So much.”
He placed his hand on the small of my back. “Here. Sit down. I’ll show you a thing or two.”
I lowered myself so I was sitting cross-legged, and he came down to a crouch beside me. He took my face in his hands and leaned in for a kiss, cupping my jaw tightly. As he kissed me, both of us inhaled hard and held our breaths. When he let me go, he sat down next to me. He cradled my head and put it in his lap, carefully adjusting my hair so that it didn’t get pinned beneath me too tightly.
“OK, can you find the Little Dipper?”
No chance whatsoever. “I’m a Big Dipper girl myself.”
“Start with the Big Dipper. Trace the lip out, and you’ll find the Little Dipper.”
I squinted and couldn’t find it at first. He took my hand in his and guided my finger to where he had been pointing. Like it was one of those 3-D puzzles, the Little Dipper popped out at me. “Oh, there! Got it!”
“The end of the handle is the North Star.” He traced the line, and that popped out too.
It reminded me so much of when he’d had me find his pulse that it was almost déjà vu. “There it is!”
“OK.” He put his hand over my heart and said, “So let’s say this is the North Star.” The weight of his palm constricted my breathing, ever so slightly. “In Latin, it’s called Polaris. I put good odds on you already knowing what it’s called it Italian,” he said, glancing down at me.
That was one Italian word I knew, yes indeed. “Stella . . . something?”
“Stella’s the only part that matters.” He moved his fingertip along my sternum and made a zigzag over my chest, still looking up. “Right there, that’s Orion. Looks like this,” he added, and pointed to the warrior on his biceps, just visible in the moonlight.
“Oh my God.” Suddenly all the tattoos began to fall into place. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t seen it before. I followed the edge of Orion’s shield on his biceps and the line of his spear. I spotted a handful of the zodiac signs—the Gemini twins, the Aries ram, the scorpion of Scorpio. “You’re just full of surprises.”
He smiled and shook his head. “Once in a while.”
Using my body as a map and his tattoos as illustrations, we moved across the sky. He showed me Taurus and the Argo Navis and the Piscis Volans. With each new constellation, he led my finger to another tattoo on his arm, to the Centaur and Ursa Major and the undulating lines of Draco the snake.
“How did you learn all of this?” I asked as he made a triangle with one corner from my belly button, to show me the big and little triangles underneath Andromeda’s feet.
“It’s always fascinated me,” he said, two fingers on my abdomen. “All the shit in life can change, all the shit you think you know can fall apart. But you look up in the sky? And you can still find your way home.”
“Home.” I trailed my fingers up his forearm.
“Home,” he said again, and slowly slid his palm down my stomach, until his fingers passed the edge of my panties. He groaned when he touched them, and so did I.