She Dims the Stars(27)

“Exactly how long are you going to give me the Somers Silent Treatment?” I ask, keeping his pace up the trail.

He grunts instead of answering.

“You’re still stuck in the car with us for at least another week. You know that, right?”

“Funny you should mention that. September said she could make a detour through Tennessee on her way back home. I figure since this trip is turning more into the Audrey and Elliot Show, I could just hitch a ride back with her. Leave you two to whatever it is that you’re doing.”

We’ve come to a clearing and can see the jumping point where the girls are standing. Audrey is crouched down, hugging her knees, and September is leaning over her, rubbing her back. My first instinct is to run to her, but I stay firmly in place, watching this other person talk to Audrey and calm her down. She’s clearly freaking out about jumping.

Cline crosses his arms and sighs. “This is such a shit show, Elliot. Why are you involving yourself in this?”

“Why are you running away from it? You two haven’t even talked … really talked yet. And now you’re just going to get into the car with someone else and give up? Go back?”

“She’s got problems, man. You can’t fix them. I can’t fix them. We don’t even know what they are. But look at her. She can’t even do the thing she came to do. This is nothing but a waste of time and …”

Silence follows as we both watch in awe as September leads Audrey to the edge of the cliff and holds her hand. She looks her in the eye, giving Audrey her undivided attention, and Audrey nods as if agreeing while looking down into the water thirty feet below. It’s a huge drop, and I don’t blame her one bit for the apprehension. September points to the water and then presses a finger to Audrey’s forehead. I wish I could hear what’s being said, but of all the things we’ve done on this trip, this seems like the most private thing I’ve been witness to.

September takes a step back, and I watch with my hands balled into fists as Audrey steps all the way to the edge of rock and extends her arms to her sides. She looks up to the sky once and then, for a split second before she moves, she looks over her shoulder to where we are standing, and I swear I can see her smile. The next instant, she is airborne, free falling headfirst into the water below, slicing the surface and going under, leaving nothing but a white ring of water in her wake.

There’s a scream of excitement from September and then from Audrey as she resurfaces, taking in air and shrieking that she did it. Her arms are raised above her head, and she’s telling all of us to come on, asking us what we’re waiting for.

Cline turns to look at me, his face pale and eyes wide with shock. “What the hell did I just see?”

I clap a hand on his shoulder as I go to pass him. “You just saw Byrdie fly.”





I feel invincible. I am invincible. That’s a terrifying way for someone to feel when they’ve felt like nothing for so long.

September is smiling at me from across the table in the little restaurant where we’ve decided to get lunch. The guys are playing video games in the back room of the pizza joint while we wait on our order, and I’m sipping some water, just trying to get hold of the rush of emotions I’ve been through in such a short amount of time.

“When were you diagnosed?” she asks. There’s no malice or judgment in her question.

I look around to make sure Elliot and Cline aren’t within earshot before I answer. “Fifteen. Some stuff feels like it’s gotten better, but recently …”

“Obviously I’m not trying to give you any advice or treatment. I’m not a doctor. Yet.” She smiles, and it’s so genuine. “Are you seeing someone, though?”

“Yeah.” The condensation on my glass has suddenly become very interesting.

“I know we’ve just met and whatever, but if you feel like you ever need to talk about stuff, and you can’t with either of those two,” she points to the game room, “I’m more than happy to be a listening ear. What you did today was huge. I don’t even know your deal, and I can tell that it was a giant step for whatever it is that you’re going through. And you should be proud of that.”

“Well, maybe one day I’ll tell you why it was such a big deal. Because you’re right. It was. It is a huge deal. We only have a couple more places to go before this trip is over, and once we’re done, I don’t think Cline will ever speak to me again. And if Elliot finds out the truth about me … about everything … I have no idea if he’ll stick around either. So you may just be the only one left to call.” The idea strikes me suddenly even as I say it out loud. This is why I don’t get involved with anyone. This is why I don’t open up to people. It’s all on the surface so no one gets hurt. Especially me. But I chose Elliot. I sought him out. I still can’t figure out why.

Her head is tilted in thought. “I don’t think there’s anything short of telling Elliot that you’re a murderer that would make him walk away from you. Even then, I’d bet he would try to find evidence against it. Have you seen the way he looks at you?”

“No,” I lie and cross my legs as the memory of his touch from earlier in the day resurfaces.

“Then maybe you should open your eyes a little more,” she says quietly and takes a sip of her drink before the pizza we ordered is placed on the table.