Shattered (LOST #3)(58)

He stood there, his hands clenched, fury twisting in him.

Jax Fontaine.

SARAH HAD BARED her soul to him. Told him things that he was sure she’d never revealed to anyone else. Now she was trembling in his arms, and all he wanted to do was take her pain away.

“Do you want to run away now?” Sarah asked him.

His fingers curled under her chin, and he made her look up at him. “I’m not the running type.” He never had been. “And nothing you could say would scare me off.”

Her gaze searched his. “Why? Why do you want to be with me? I’m sure there are plenty of women who’d jump at the chance to be with you.”

“Plenty,” he agreed as his lips twitched.

“I know you’ve got money, Jax. Money and power mean a lot, in this town and in so many others. So I need you to answer my question. I need to know . . . why me? Is it because you want the thrill of fucking a killer’s daughter? Because I’ve been down that road and—”

“I can kick his ass.” He could and would. “Give me a name and it’s done.” Some prick had used Sarah that way? He would destroy the guy. He would—

“Jax . . .”

He liked it when she said his name. He liked it even more when she screamed it. Or when she moaned it.

“I don’t give a shit about your father.” Actually, he did. Jax hated that the man had hurt Sarah so much. And he was glad the guy was far away from Sarah so that he couldn’t do any more damage to her. “I’m fucking you because I look at you and I want.” Simple fact. “I want you naked. I want in you. I want you so much that I know my control won’t hold long, not when you’re around. Because the desire I feel for you is too raw, too strong.” Too unlike anything he’d ever felt, and, yeah, he had plenty of opportunities to hook up with others. But those other women . . . they weren’t Sarah.

There was only one Sarah.

“When you look at me . . .” Now it was his turn to bare his soul. He figured it was only fair. “What do you see?”

“Strength.” Her response was immediate.

“That’s what I see when I look at you.”

She blinked at him.

“Others . . . when they look at me, they see a criminal.” She needed to hear this. “Make no mistake, Sarah, I haven’t lived an easy life. I’ve broken laws. Done things that I regret.” And things that he’d never regret. “When it’s do-or-die, we all have to fight, and I’m a fighter to my core.”

“I know.”

Yes, she did.

“I try to follow a few rules. I never hurt a woman, no matter what the hell she’s done.” Because of the woman who’d raised him. Because she had loved him, and he’d loved her. He’d wanted to protect her, but that bastard who’d taken him . . . that bastard had hurt her again and again.

Until I got big enough to stop him. I wasn’t going to let anyone hurt her ever again.

He brushed his knuckles over Sarah’s cheeks. He felt the faint wetness of her tears. “I don’t hurt innocents.” He never went after the weak. When he ran his business, the people he was involved with knew the score. Always.

“The world isn’t black and white.” Oh, hell, no, it wasn’t. “I’ve been operating in the gray for a long time.” Until Sarah. Until she’d made him want to step out and into the light again. “I wish I could be different.” He looked down at all of the tats on his hands and thought of the battles he’d faced. “But you can’t change the past.”

If they’d come to find me . . . if my parents had looked . . .

If anyone had looked for me . . .

But he’d always known that his real family hadn’t cared. No one had ever bothered to search for him.

“You’re not the only one with nightmares, pretty Sarah.” He still dreamed of being trapped in that closet. Being a lost, scared kid. Calling out for his mother. Only she’d never come for him.

Then, later, the dreams had changed. He’d been a teenager. The bastard who took him . . . he’d come swinging at Jax when he stepped in front of Charlene. Jax had swung back. He’d hit him so hard and the man had slipped, falling down those stairs . . . falling . . . falling . . .

How do I tell her that I killed a man when I was fifteen? No one knew. Charlene had helped him. They’d covered up the past.

Another secret to stay buried.

But maybe, maybe Sarah could handle—

His phone rang. Jax swore. Someone had serious shit for timing.

“It could be the hospital,” Sarah said. “Gabe knew I was coming with you . . .”

He rose from the bed. He had on a pair of jogging sweats and he stalked toward the ringing phone. Jax glanced down at the screen and saw Brent West’s number flash on the screen. He answered, saying, “Is Molly all right?”

“She’s up and she’s talking.” West’s voice was hushed. “Get your lawyer man, get him fast.”

“What? Why?”

“Because I’m outside your place.” Again, his words were low, as if he didn’t want others to overhear him. “Molly named you. She said you took her.”

What the hell?

“I have to bring you in,” Brent said. “Procedure, shit—the captain is chomping at the bit on this one, so I have to bring you in,” he told him again.