Shattered(7)

The heat from his body encompasses me and I'm lost, falling through space. My eyes close and little white spots flicker behind my eyes. His hands slip over my skin and carefully move down my back and under my shirt. I gasp and press my mouth harder to his. The kiss is urgent, demanding. It's like we both know our time together is limited and everything is going to change. I can't stop and I don't want to. Heat seers under my skin as Trystan's hands slip over me. His tongue licks the seam of my lips, teasing me. My heart beats harder, and drowns out every other sound. When I open my mouth and let him, I feel my body going limp in his arms.

Trystan holds me to his chest and kisses me harder, deeper. His tongue moves in my mouth and I'm floating and falling at the same time. I don't come up for air. I'm afraid he'll stop. I'm afraid of what will happen next. I'm afraid...

Trystan barely breathes as the kiss endures. It's seeking, giving, and hoping. It's everything that I though a kiss should be, but he pulls away too soon. Trystan's face is flushed. Heat fills his cheeks and he breathes like he's run too far, too fast. His fingers brush my cheek and rest on my shoulder. "I love you, Mari." His sapphire gaze locks with mine. We hold each other. We say nothing.

The moment remains perfect, as if it's suspended in time. We cling to each other, hoping to God that there's more for us, that there's a way I can hold onto him. But, Trystan is like a snowflake. I'm afraid that if I try to close my hand around him, he'll disappear from my life. Trystan can't accept who he is, that it stems from where he came from. He won't forgive himself for this. Somehow I know it, but I can't let it go. I can't let him go. I love him with every ounce of my being, and I know that I always will.

~TRYSTAN~

Mari is amazing. It doesn't matter what's wrong, she brings Trystan back to life.

He moves through the school and goes to his classes like it's any other day. Trystan smiles and jokes, but it's different now. That hollow feeling inside his chest has someone to fill it. Mari knows him like no one else. She understands him. Trystan wishes so badly that Mari didn't, but at the same time, he's glad she does. It's one of those things that he can't explain.

And right now he feels caught. Trystan can go on without her, but he doesn't want to. Love isn't like that, is it? Is it selfish? He didn't think so, and keeping Mari in his life is selfish. Things will only get worse. Trystan is falling down a pit, head first. He knows he's mid free-fall, and that he took Mari with him. The crap with his father isn't over. Add to the fact that he's homeless and his life is just getting worse.

But... but if he leaves Mari alone, her father will crush her. The light in her eyes will disappear. She'll give in and be what he wants, which is that demur version of Mari. Trystan brings out the other side of her, the real Mari. The one that is all vibrant and fantastic. The side she hides from the world.

Trystan glances across the stage. Mari is in the wing. The stage lights cast a golden glow on her skin as she waits for her cue. Her long hair is soft and totally touchable. When Mari woke him this morning, Trystan thought he was dreaming. Any touch from her sends him reeling. It's like she's his angel, his second chance, but somehow that isn't what's happened. Instead of pulling him up, he's sucking her down. Trystan swallows hard. The thoughts pummel his mind in a relentless wave. He'd give anything for her - do anything to make her happy. After last night -

His thoughts are cut off when Mari senses his gaze and looks up at him. She smiles. That soft, shy smile drives him crazy. He winks at her, knowing that it'll conceal his thoughts. Mari has a way of reading him that scares him to death. One glance at his eyes and she knows exactly what he's thinking. Hiding things from her is difficult.

Trystan honed in on things that set her off balance a while ago and uses them judiciously to set her off kilter when she gets too close. Damn it. He really needs to make up his mind and pull her in or push her away. You don't deserve her, a small voice reminds him. It's the same voice that said don't fight back. Trystan doesn't know what that is anymore. Last night, when the voice said to be still, he nearly died because of it. Maybe he's been listening to the wrong voice all this time? Maybe he should have fought back before now. He doesn't know and dwelling on it won't change anything.

Trystan takes his cue and enters the stage, while banishing the whole mess from his mind. He says his lines perfectly and it's all Mari's doing. When he enters the stage to act opposite her, Trystan can't help beaming. His smile is at full wattage. The acting is a reprieve, a chance to pretend that his horrid life doesn't exist. It's a chance to escape, and escaping it with Mari makes his time on stage even better.

They act - they fight, they banter, they kiss - it's as if this is a dream. If only life were this simple. If only saying a few well-chosen words could really fix his mistakes. Trystan grins and pulls Mari close. She has that shy thing going on. It drives him crazy. The stage lights make her more radiant than she already is. Trystan can't think about anything but kissing her when her eyes lower like that, and she looks up at him from under her lashes.

Mari says her lines, but it feels real. For half a second, Trystan is lost in the scene. He's not himself. His past is gone, his pain is gone. Mari holds his heart and there is nothing else. They're in their own world and there is nothing weighing them down, no one to hold them back or break them apart. Mari looks at his eyes and he's lost in her gaze. There's no place better than this. It feels real. It feels like this could be his life, like he could have Mari and make her happy. For a second, hope floats into his chest and it feels so real that he can taste it. Then, the lights fade into blackness. The moment fractures as the curtain swings halfway closed and abruptly stops.