Shameless(91)

When I unlock the front door, I kiss Kat’s temple and take the baby from her arms so I can get Izzy ready for bed. Which can’t come soon enough, because if I have to wait one more minute to be alone with Kat, I might lose my mind.

As I’m heading down the hall, I hear her gasp, and I turn to see her in the kitchen in front of several drawings I did of her. She’s holding the image of her sleeping, curled up in bed with a sheet draped over her.

She looks at me with tears welling in her eyes. “They’re beautiful.”

“What can I say? I missed you. A lot. I even recycled while you were gone.”

“Aww! Really?”

She grins up at me, and I kiss her forehead. I have to admit I appreciate how easy it is to please her.

Izzy yawns in my arms and rubs her eyes.

“Let me get this baby to bed, and I’ll be out in a minute.”

Izzy is wiped from the road trip, so it doesn’t take long after I tuck her in before she’s asleep. Once she’s snoring softly, I head out of the nursery on a mission, because I’m dying to get my hands on Kat. I hear her using the sink in the bathroom, and when the door opens, I yank her into me, and she laughs.

“Shh. Don’t wake the baby,” I mumble against her lips.

“Mmm.”

Her whole body melts into me, and although I’m desperate to connect with her in a very naked and horizontal way, I want to give her a Christmas gift.

With an arm around her shoulder, I maneuver her to the living room, next to the Christmas tree.

“I’m sorry for being an ass last week. For putting work first.”

Pushing up onto her toes, she kisses my jaw as she winds her arms around my neck. “You don’t have to apologize. We both made mistakes and withdrew. I guess I got afraid. I knew I had promised to keep this casual, and then suddenly nothing about what we had seemed casual. And, well, I’ve only been in two relationships, and only one was serious.”

I can’t help the surprise on my face. “Really?”

She nods, a shy smile on her lips. “Really.”

As I sit on the couch, I tug her into my lap. Fuck, she smells good. I breathe into her hair. “What else do I need to know?” All of a sudden, I’m nervous about what I want to ask. “Did you love him? Your ex?”

She takes a deep breath. “At the time I thought I did. But when I compare my feelings for him to what I feel for you, it’s no contest. You’re the World Series. He was Little League.”

I bark out a laugh. “You’re so perfect for me.”

But she’s not laughing. In fact, her eyebrows furrow. “So I need to tell you something, and you might get upset.”

“Lay it on me.” I like this no-holds-barred thing we have going on.

She takes a deep breath. “Eric’s family was behind the offer on the farm. I just found out about it when he showed up on our doorstep last week.”

My jaw tightens, and I scoot her off my lap.

“See, I knew you’d be upset. Which is why I didn’t tell you about it. Because I know your family needs the money.”

I let that sink in. It’s a difficult pill to swallow.

She continues. “I’m tempted to say I hate him, but that suggests I feel something for him, some kind of emotion, but I don’t. Honestly, I’m not sure what I saw in him. But what I do know is he and his family can afford some little farm. That expense means nothing to them. And if it meant helping you and your parents get out from this mountain of debt, then I thought it was worth swallowing my pride.”

I blow out a breath. “You were going to let me take that money because you wanted to help my family?”

She nods, her lower lip trapped between her teeth.

“From someone you hate?”

Her whole body is tense, like she’s afraid I’m going to yell at her.

“Yeah,” she whispers. “Pretty much.”

I laugh. “I’d be really pissed if I went through with it and found out later.”

Her hands fidget in her lap. “If you sold the farm, I’d hoped you wouldn’t find out. That you could go back to Boston and restart your life. Use that money to raise Izzy. To take care of your parents.”

A silence stretches between us, and finally, I groan. “You’re amazing. I don’t even know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. You’re worth it.”

“I’d say you’re the one who’s worth it.”

Resting my forehead in the crook of her neck, I breathe her in. Her hands thread through my hair, and we stay like that for a long minute. When we part, I ask something I’ve been dying to know. “So what happened with him? Why’d you break up?”

“I realized the senator didn’t mean half of his campaign promises, and Eric knew this and let me go along like an idiot.” She rolls her eyes. “That’s why the campaign hired someone right out of college. Someone who was dumb enough to believe the spin and sell it. Because I was passionate. Convincing. Especially when it came to fracking. Anyway, I overheard Eric and his dad talking one afternoon and found out his father had no plans to enact any reform. Of course, I was livid. Eric and I argued about it. I told him I was going to quit. Which he thought was insane since, hello, I worked for a senator. But I couldn’t in good conscience continue to lie for the campaign.”