Shameless(32)

It’s late. We’ve been downing one Steve Carell comedy after another. The pizza is gone and so is half a casserole I microwaved. My buzz has worn off, and I suspect Brady’s has too. We stopped drinking a while ago.

I turn to Brady as I stand up and stretch. “Want some Advil? I’m gonna grab a couple before I go to bed.”

He nods and mutters thanks.

When I return, I hold out his glass of water and two orange tablets, which he takes with a small smile. “Wake me up tomorrow so I can help feed all the little beasts.”

Oh, crap.

How being around Brady could make me forget the obvious things I should be doing right now frustrates me. “I should check on everyone. It’s been raining pretty hard.”

I bolt out of the room before he can answer. I know he doesn’t understand why we have so many animals, but Mel loved them, and Izzy does too, and despite how much work they are, I’d rather lose a limb than let anything happen to them.

In my bedroom, I throw on my work boots and shrug into a coat. As I’m heading out the back door, Brady grips my arm. I turn and find him inches away, so close that I can feel his breath on my skin.

“You shouldn’t go out there in the storm. Let me go.”

His words send a panic through me. That night. The way my friends left in the thunderstorm. How they never came back.

My heart races, and I grip his shirt with both hands. “No f*cking way.”

His eyebrows lift in surprise. But there’s no way in hell I’m letting him go out there.

I shake my head, my hands trembling. I can’t breathe, and I start gasping for air.

He closes his eyes briefly. I see the moment he realizes why I’m freaking out, because he reaches for me and presses me against his chest.

His chin rests on top of my head, and I want to melt into him, but the secret I’ve been keeping is too much to bear. I’ve been trying to put it out of my head all week just to get through the funerals, but I can’t let this go any longer. He deserves to know. He might kick me out, but I have to tell him.

“Brady.” My voice is muffled against his chest. Inhale. Exhale.

“Shh. It’s okay. Calm down. Nothing bad is going to happen tonight.”

Guilt floods me. I can’t let him comfort me. It’s not right.

“I have to tell you something.” I push against him until he lets me go. “It’s about the accident.”

We stand in the dark hallway, and I hear little meows coming from the back porch. I ignore the kittens and prepare myself for what needs to be said. “It was my fault.” My face tilts down. “What happened. Why Sampson got out. The reason Cal and Mel drove out into the storm.”

He stills, and even in the dark, I can feel his piercing eyes. “What do you mean?”

“I was supposed to lock up Sampson. I had gone to the barn to check on him. He was restless.” I blink back the familiar sting of tears in my eyes. “That horse hates thunder and was kicking against his stall. I walked in there to brush his mane and talk to him until he settled down. But I must have left the stall unlatched because later it was banging in the wind.”

I can tell Brady doesn’t get what I’m saying, so I continue. “It’s why Mel and Cal went out that night. Because Sampson got out. It’s why they took their truck and went down to the back creek. He always wanders down there when he breaks loose.”

My throat stings, and I close my eyes, waiting for Brady to yell at me, but he never does.

When I get the courage to look at him, his head is lowered, and he’s rubbing the back of his neck. A minute passes, and finally he whispers, “Accidents happen, Kat.”

I wait for him to say more, but he doesn’t. He just nudges me to the door with a sigh. “Let’s check and make sure everyone’s locked down for the night. C’mon. We’ll go together.”

Nodding, I follow him out to the porch where the kittens start mewling. I kneel down and pet their damp fur. The wind is so strong, the rain is pelting through the back porch screen.

Glancing around, I worry when I don’t see Bandit lurking. Even though the porch is enclosed, that little rascal knows how to work the latch on the flimsy door that leads outside. Hopefully, he’s nice and warm under the house.

“Why don’t you put the kittens in Izzy’s room tonight?”

“Great idea.” I scoop them up and put them in their little box. As I’m heading into the house, I look back at Brady. “Wait for me. I’ll just be a minute.”

His eyes warm. “I’m not going anywhere without you. I promise.”





21





Brady





Something happened while I watched Kat race around the property with ice-cold water pelting her skin and soaking her clothes. My admiration for her grew. As did the weight of what she told me earlier. I can’t believe she holds herself responsible.

But I straight-up don’t know any woman who would willingly head out in a thunderstorm to do this.

She dragged me across the farm to check on the chickens and goats and that horse. Everyone was locked away and dry. But that didn’t stop her from cooing at them sweetly.

As we stand on the porch, drenched, she laughs. “So maybe I was overreacting. Maybe they didn’t need us to check on them.”