Sex, Not Love(18)

“I can’t wait.” I laughed as if I was joking, but there was a lot of actual truth in my statement.

***

Caroline Margaret Weiner was born at 3:47 a.m., after eighteen hours of labor. I’d watched plenty of movies where the new dad runs out in his blue scrubs and says the baby is born, but actually being part of that in real life was nothing short of magical. Derek had the blue paper mask and hat on when he walked out with his eyes full of tears.

“It’s a girl.”

He’d barely gotten the three little words out before the tears started flowing. There wasn’t a dry eye in the room after that.

Even though I’d sworn I was never going to have children of my own after my life fell apart over the last few years, a tiny crack ran up the impenetrable wall I’d built around my heart when I saw Anna’s baby in the nursery. After another hour of waiting, we took turns going to visit the new mommy.

Apparently Derek hadn’t told his wife I’d flown in for the shower. And since I’d told her I wasn’t able to make it, she was quite surprised when I walked in.

“You’re here! You’re really here!”

“Thank God I am. If I hadn’t come in for the shower, I would have missed this.” The two of us clung to each other, crying tears of joy, until a nurse knocked at the door. She had the baby in a clear carrier on wheels.

“Time for Mommy to show off her beautiful bundle of joy,” the nurse said. She locked the wheels on the portable bassinet and gently lifted baby Caroline out. The precious little thing was swaddled so all I could see was her sweetest, little pink face.

While the nurse settled Anna with extra blankets and a pillow to prop the baby up on, I walked to the sink and washed my hands, then pumped some disinfectant on them as an added precaution. The minute the nurse shut the door behind her, I climbed into bed next to my friend.

“Oh my God. She’s beautiful. She looks just like you.” I unglued my eyes from the beautiful newborn and looked at my lifelong partner in crime. “You have a baby.”

“I have a fucking baby,” she said.

I laughed. “I don’t think you should say that word around my sweet niece.”

Her smile wilted. “You were supposed to have one at the same time and live next door so we could wheel them in carriages like we did our dolls when we were little.”

I stroked the baby’s cheek. Her skin was so soft. “Maybe I can see about getting my ex-husband relocated to a West Coast penitentiary so I can move out here. Do you think they make extra-large carriages? I’m sure Isabella won’t mind if I stuff her in one and wheel her around with you.” I leaned in and smelled baby Caroline. “God, she smells so good.”

We huddled in the bed in our own little world, so we didn’t hear Derek or Hunter enter the room. It was Hunter’s voice that announced their presence.

“Did you just sniff the baby?”

Derek chuckled. “She sniffs everything.”

“I do not.” I totally do.

Intrigued, Hunter walked to the bed. “What does she smell like?”

“Baby,” I said.

Hunter squinted at me, then leaned forward and inhaled a giant whiff of Caroline.

Derek was amused. “God, I hope my kid decided to try out her diaper a minute ago.”

The nurse who had wheeled the baby in came back and interrupted our sniff fest. “Are we ready to see how Caroline does latching on?”

Anna nodded. She looked nervous. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

“The first few times can be a little frustrating, so why don’t I go grab you a support pillow and some breast pads while you say goodbye to your friends. They can go to the waiting room, and I’ll come get them when you’re done, if you want.”

“No. That’s okay,” Anna said. “They need to go home and get some rest. They’ve been here all night. Why don’t you guys go sleep and come back tonight if you feel up to it.”

I really was exhausted. And I was certain Anna needed sleep more than I did. “Okay.”

“I’ll give you my keys,” Derek said.

I’d completely forgotten that my plan had been to stay with Anna and Derek after the shower. It would be weird to stay there without Anna home. Plus, they needed their privacy now that they’d have a newborn at home for the first time.

“That’s okay. I’m going to check into a hotel.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Stay at our house. Derek will be here most of the time until I come home anyway.”

Hunter piped in. “I’ll make sure she has a place to stay.”

“Are you sure?” Anna questioned.

“Positive. We’ll all get some rest and come back later to visit.”

Anna yawned. “Okay.”

“Bye, beautiful baby girl.” I caressed Caroline’s cheek one last time and stole one more sniff.

***

“Do you know of a place nearby where I can stay?”

“Sure do.”

I leaned back into the leather seat of Hunter’s pickup and closed my eyes. “I haven’t stayed up this long since college. My body actually aches from lack of sleep. I feel old.”

“We’ll get you some sleep, and you’ll feel as good as you look in no time.”