Seduced By a Lady's Heart (Lords of Honor #1)(2)

Again, guilt pricked her conscience. For her reason in being here was not the honorable, admirable sort.

He had been one of them.

Oh, God. Why didn’t I know? But more…Why didn’t you tell me? She would have braved the horrors she’d carried all these years just to step through the doors and see him.

Because you never mattered, a silent voice reminded her, pragmatic and sincere.

“Ahem.” Eloise forced her legs to move forward as the nurse discreetly cleared her throat. She stepped inside, not knowing what she expected. The room to suddenly burn with the heat of bodies ablaze with fever? The scent of vomit and sweat that even the mere memory of caused bile to build in her throat? She swallowed it forcibly back and walked alongside Nurse Maitland.

She glanced about at the soldiers, still confined to these beds. Many eyed her with blank, empty stares. Others with a modicum of curiosity in their bored gazes. Eloise managed a smile and then continued surveying the room.

And then found her. She froze.

The young woman, a diminutive, smallish figure with brown hair the color of chocolate sat beside a gentleman, her head bent over a book as she read. Forgetting all the rules of propriety drilled into her from early on, Eloise studied the Marchioness of Drake.

Nurse Maitland continued on and then realized Eloise no longer fell into step beside her, for she turned back with a frown. She followed her gaze fixed on the young lady. “Ah, forgive me. Are you acquainted with Her Ladyship?”

“No,” Eloise’s response was instantaneous. After all, she couldn’t very well admit that she’d never really been welcomed into the same social circles as the respectable marchioness, daughter of a duke. Unlike Eloise who’d been a mere knight’s daughter, who’d captured the notice of the Earl of Sherborne. In truth, however, Eloise well knew she could have coordinated a meeting with the woman at a place other than London Hospital. But it was a need to know not only this woman, but more importantly this place.

As though feeling her stare, the marchioness glanced up from her reading and looked about. Her gaze collided with Eloise. A wide smile wreathed the woman’s face and she lifted a hand in greeting.

Some of the anxiety went out of Eloise as she managed her first real smile and she returned the gesture.

“Please, allow me to introduce you.”

For the first time in so very long, excitement stirred to life inside her as, with each passing step, her fear of this room, of her plans, of simply being here slipped away. Oh, they didn’t disappear altogether, but rather remained muted by the hope in her heart.

“Lady Drake,” the nurse said with far more familiarity than Eloise expected as they drew to a stop beside a gentleman’s bed.

Eloise glanced down and, for a fleeting moment, her reasons for seeking out the marchioness faded when paired with the extreme starkness in the blond-haired, blue-eyed gentleman’s empty eyes.

“Nurse Maitland,” the marchioness returned.

The remainder of her words was lost as Eloise rudely met the gaze of a stranger who stared boldly back. Pain tightened her belly while she replaced this stranger’s face with another. Is this what Lucien had become? She’d never imagined the gentle, polite young boy she’d considered a friend anything but full of laughter and cheer.

Then, if he were still that laughing, cheerful man wouldn’t he have returned? a voice needled.

“This is Lady Sherborne.” Nurse Maitland’s greeting jerked her back.

She flushed. “M-my lady,” she stammered and dropped a belated curtsy.

The marchioness rose in a flurry of skirts. She waved a hand breezily about. “Oh, please, there is no need for such formality,” she assured. “Emmaline will suffice.” She smiled, again a grin teeming with warmth and sincerity. “We do so enjoy the addition of new, pleasant guests, isn’t that correct, Lieutenant Forbes?”

His lips quirked up in half a grin. “Aye.” For a moment Eloise wondered if she’d merely imagined his earlier coolness. Then he shifted his attention to her and the wary mistrust replaced all hint of warmth.

Eloise shifted upon her feet, feeling like an interloper in this world. In all worlds, really. But for the meadows of Kent, she’d never really felt a kindred connection to any place.

“…Just showing Lady Sherborne about…”

She wet her lips, torn with the purpose that had brought her here and this sudden need to see the men who called this hospital home. Lucien was once one of them. Agony twisted her belly into knots. With a slow nod she said, “It was a pleasure meeting you, my…Emmaline,” she quickly amended at the gentle reproach in the marchioness’ eyes.

“Indeed,” Emmaline concurred. She lifted a hand in parting and returned her attention to Lieutenant Forbes.

With pained reluctance, she fell into step beside Nurse Maitland once again. “The gentlemen enjoy when books are read to them. They enjoy singing,” she said with a wave of her hand about the room.

Eloise winced. She couldn’t imagine a more egregious affront than to visit these men and torture them with the off-key, high whine of her singing voice. “I do not have any books with me,” she said, regret filling her. Now, she wished she’d been less selfish. Wished she’d stopped to consider there were men much like Lucien, alone, dependent upon the charity of strangers for every kindness. Agony knifed through her at the idea of him alone at this hospital when there had been others who loved him, waiting for him. There was me. I was there.