Secrets Vol. 2(3)

The next morning, I wake up ready to pretend nothing happened, not that anything really did happen. It just feels like it did. Cole isn't next to me on the floor when I sit up. His blankets are folded on a chair. He let me sleep and is enduring my parents alone. Quickly, I pull on my jeans and tank top, and run a brush through my hair. As I approach the stairs, I hear my mother's voice. She's laughing, along with my dad and Cole.

When I get to the top of the stairs, I hesitate. Cole is sitting with my parents and it appears that they are having a somewhat normal conversation. I stand still, listening.

Ma says to Cole, "So what about this one? Was this airbrushed?" She pushes the paper toward him. Cole reaches out and slides it closer while sipping his coffee.

He nods, "Yes, the models in the ads are Photoshopped - that's like airbrushing, but it's more than that. All of these are manipulated to some extent. Real thighs don't look like that."

Ma tugs the paper away and looks at it closer, "How do you know? I can't see it. And this girl is so skinny. Her thighs could really look like that."

Cole shakes his head and pulls the paper back. "It's my job. We do this all day long. So does Anna, and she's very good at it. But, sometimes on the cheaper product lines you can see artifacts, like - " he's turning pages. After flipping three times, he stops and smooths the newsprint, "here. See this?"

Ma tugs the paper back, and her jaw drops. She thrusts the pages at Dad, who is smiling like he already knows all this stuff. "Frankie, did you see this? Did you know they could do that?"

"Yeah. They've been doing that for years. I told you real women don't look like that. You're beautiful and always have been. Those twigs got nothing on you, baby," he takes her hand while he's talking. He's always adored her. They gaze at each other.

Cole smiles and looks up, seeing me in the doorway. He stands and crosses the room, "Good morning, lover. Can I get you some breakfast?" He kisses me on the cheek and I nearly fall over. A voice inside my head giggles hysterically and instructs me to never wash my face again. I stare at Cole as he takes a plate and fills it with pancakes and sausages. He hands it to me and grabs me a cup of coffee. "Come on. Sit. Eat. We have time."

I make my way to the table. We sit together and eat. The conversation doesn't drift to loins or babies. A smile spreads across my face and I can't hide it.

________

It's Saturday. By the time I get back to the apartment, Emma is gone. I get in the shower, and crank up the hot water. I stand there letting it wash over me until my skin is numb. There are so many things that I want to do, but I don't know where to start. Cole left my parent's house right after breakfast. His driver picked him up in a shiny black car. He offered to take me home, but I didn't want to leave my bike behind. I thanked him and told him I'd be in later.

This week has been so strange. If someone told me that the man who shattered my dreams last weekend would be spending the night with me and starring in my naughty fantasies, I wouldn't have believed them.

Before I leave for work, I call Edward and tell him that I want to meet up with him later. Breaking up is going to suck, but it's inevitable. There's no future for us. This is more humane, even if he does love me. I just hope that he'll understand. I can't change for him, and he shouldn't have to change for me. Somewhere out there, there's a girl that's perfect for him, and I know that it's not me.

I tug on a pair of shorts and a cami. I'm not really dressed for work, but there are no clients today and it's insanely hot. I leave my motorcycle in the garage across the street and make my way to Le Femme via the subway, then trek the last stretch on foot. By the time I arrive, my cute outfit is soaked in sweat and my hair is deflated. I look horrible. After I push through the door, I walk to the mirror, trying to salvage my appearance, at least a little bit. Snatching a tissue, I blot the sweat off my face. Most of my make-up floated away a few blocks back. Sun-freckles and rosy cheeks peek back at me. The sheen on my face refuses to be tamed. I stand there for a second and look at the tissue, wondering if I should even bother.

"Hey," Cole walks up behind me. His voice sounds soft at first, almost timid. "You're here. And... um, wow... You look..."

I huff, "Like a mess. Tell me there are no clients today. Please. I can't fix this." I gesture to my face which is glowing again in an I-just-worked-out kind of way.

Cole leans back on Miss Todd's empty desk. The muscles in his arms bulge. His shirt clings to his body and I realize that I haven't seen him dressed like this before. He looks like he's headed for the beach, wearing shorts and a tee shirt. The office is a warmer than usual. There's a sheen of sweat on his skin. He grins, "There are no clients. We're editing all day. And you look great, so don't worry about it."

I laugh, "Yeah. Nice try, but I saw the way I rendered you silent a few seconds ago." The way he looks at me makes my stomach flip. It's like seeing me in a disheveled mess makes him like me more. I stop fussing in front of the mirror and toss the tissue.

He slides off the desks and walks toward me, "The air conditioner is having issues. We'll be lucky if it doesn't totally die. The repair guys will be here later to work on it. Come on. Let's get to editing." He tilts his head and turns. Cole shoves his hands in his pockets and I follow him back to the studio.