Second Chance Pass (Virgin River #5)(101)

“No, you have to understand. I—” He stopped. He didn’t like the desperate sound of his own voice. He was not going to do this—he was not going to tell Paul that he held her and loved her all night long and that he was gentle and she was sweet. That they had also been a little wild—beautifully wild. That their bodies had meshed perfectly and their words just as well. That in addition to sex too hot to imagine, there had been tender words, too soft and lovely to explain. He couldn’t tell a guy that. It was beyond him.

“Paul, goddammit, you have to help me with this. I have to get in touch with her.”

“She says she doesn’t want to hear from you.”

“I have to hear that from her. Jesus, I don’t even know her last name.”

Paul stopped brushing and looked at Joe over the rear end of a horse. “I don’t think I’d admit that again.” He groaned. “Jesus, Joe. You screwed the maid of honor without even getting her name?”

Joe lost it. He dropped the brush, grabbed Paul by the front of his shirt and slammed him up against the stable wall with a huge bang. Paul could easily have hammered him if he wasn’t so completely shocked. “I didn’t do that,” Joe said in a fierce, angry whisper. “I didn’t screw anyone! I made excellent love to her and she made incredible love right back to me and it was almost too good to believe. I used six of your condoms and I—” He stopped. He let go of Paul and stepped back. “This isn’t happening to me,” he said.

“I think you might be a little out of control,” Paul observed.

“Aw, come on! Help me out here!”

“Seriously, I don’t think I’d admit again that you don’t even know her last name.”

“What the fuck is it, you jerk!”

“Jorgensen, but you didn’t hear it from me. Okay? I’d like to have sex again in my life.”

“Sex. Sex. It’s all about sex.” Joe shook his head.

“Wasn’t it?” Paul asked.

“Only about half the time,” Joe said. “Paul, will you listen to me a second? It was perfect—the kind of perfect that just doesn’t come along very often. You hear me? It was wonderful. It wasn’t just sex, but don’t get me wrong…”

“You’re going down the wrong road again, buddy. Women don’t want to hear about how great they were in bed.”

“Now you’re an expert? Married twelve hours and you know everything?” He hung his head. “I have to find her, man. She gets two chances—she has to tell me twice that it’s nothing. Twice. Then I go away quietly. I’m no stalker. But man…”

“Whew. You got it bad,” Paul said. “She is way under your skin.”

“Just tell me you don’t know what I’m talking about, Paul. You of all people.”

Paul was quiet for a minute. “Unfortunately, I read you.”

“Help me out here. She’s… Don’t make me say anything more, please. It’s private, okay? Help me out.”

“Here’s what I’d do. Write her a letter,” Paul said. “I’ll ask Vanni to send it to her. But I can’t guarantee anything,” he added.

“You are so frickin’ whipped.”

“Yeah? What are you right now?”

“Out of my head, that’s what.”

Paul lifted two eyebrows. “Six?”

“Aw, bite me!”



Before leaving Virgin River, Joe sat in the fifth wheel he’d borrowed and wrote a letter on a lined yellow pad, a letter in which every word embarrassed him. But he forced himself. He went through roughly fifty drafts to come up with one he could live with, and he still found it horribly inadequate.

Nikki—

I had a wonderful weekend with you. You left too soon and broke my heart. I want to talk to you again, see you again, and according to Vanni, you don’t want to be contacted by me. I don’t know what went wrong. For me, everything went right, and I thought it went right for you, too. I know you’re still recovering from a bad breakup, but it didn’t seem to have anything to do with you and me. Call me. Tell Vanni to give me your number so I can call you. I hope I didn’t do or say anything to hurt you, to make you feel bad, but if I did, at least give me a chance to apologize. Nikki, it was one of the nicest weekends of my life. Come on, baby. I’m dying here.

Love,

Joe.



He gave the letter to Paul because he didn’t trust Vanni just yet. However, when he took Vanessa into his arms to give her a kiss goodbye he said, “You have to believe me. I didn’t hurt her. I want to hear from her. Please, tell her that.”

“I’ll tell her. But I don’t know that it’ll change anything.”

“Just tell her. Please.”





Sixteen




Tom had his gear packed by Sunday afternoon. He took Brenda out for a long ride and she held it together real well. She stayed for dinner with the general, Vanni and Paul. His dad was taking him to the bus at five in the morning. He drove Brenda back to her house at about 8:00 p.m., but he didn’t get home until 4:00 a.m. He found his dad was up.

“You didn’t keep Brenda out all this time, did you, son?”