Second-Chance Bride (Dakota Brides Book 3)(46)

“Why not?” Milo asked. “You like him and I know he likes you. You never argue or fight.”

“We don’t, do we?”

“Then ask him if you can take care of us?”

“Oh Milo, I wish it was that simple.”

He pulled away from her. “You don’t want to.”

She caught him and drew him back into her arms. “I would like nothing better than to take care of both of you every day.”

“Then why don’t you?”

She could say it wasn’t her decision but then Milo would blame Ward. She didn’t want that. Nor could she tell him she couldn’t look after them because she had to learn how to break more land. That would make it look like her farm was more important than two precious little boys.

Her eyes widened as her life became as clear as the air around her. If she had the opportunity to choose, she would choose the boys and their father.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t a choice she’d been given.

“I just can’t,” she finally said in answer to Milo’s question. “But I intend to enjoy every minute of your company. Who would like to help me check and see if my baby chicks have hatched?”

“Me,” Kit said.

Milo sighed and followed along. “You and Papa are the same. He won’t ask you and you won’t ask him.”

Freyda guessed Milo had posed the same questions to Ward that he’d asked her and gotten similar answers. Which only clarified for her that Ward didn’t want to change things. Didn’t want another woman in his life.

The eggs had not hatched. She would have spent the entire afternoon playing with the boys but she had to put the buns to bake.

They accompanied her to the house. She allowed herself one quick glance at Ward. He didn’t look her direction. Three days he said. The middle of next week.

If only there was some way to make time stand still.

Ward worked until dark. Freyda fed the boys early and gave them baths in preparation for Sunday. She ate with them, telling herself it was only because she wanted to ice the cake and do a few things after Ward came in for his supper. The truth was she could have done them before he sat to eat, but something between them had shifted. At least in her mind.

Ward brought the horses in and took care of them.

She put his plate of food on the table and busied herself with icing the cake. Tomorrow was his birthday and she planned to celebrate it. Would he understand that she saw him as more than a man to do her farm work?

He eyed the single plate a moment then lifted his gaze to her, silently asking for an explanation.

“I have several things to do yet.”

“So that’s the way it’s to be.” He sat, quickly consumed his meal.

That’s when she knew he was aware of the question Milo had asked.

He got to his feet. “Thanks for supper. Come on, boys.”

She bade them all good night.

Nothing was said about watching for him to get home safe. No mention was made of swinging a lantern to signal his arrival.

So that’s the way it was to be.

But as she lay in bed, she wondered what all those good times had meant. The picnic. The rides to and from town. Telling each other about their happy times in the past and their not so happy times. She’d earlier agreed to ride with him to church. What was the point in taking two conveyances? And he’d agreed to join her and her family for Sunday dinner. After all, little Charlie would be lonely without Milo and Kit to play with.

She’d say something the minute she saw Ward to erase the strain between them.

All night, she tossed and turned, trying to think what she could say. She was no closer to having the right words when he arrived at her doorstep.

One look at the worried look on Milo’s face and the drawn lines about Ward’s mouth and she knew she had to say something. Anything.

Ward helped her to the seat. She didn’t release his hand right away.

He brought his gaze to hers, full of questions and uncertainties.

Her heart ached. The poor man had known nothing in his life but cruelty, unkindness, and neglect. She would not be guilty of adding to that burden.

“I stood on the step and waited until I saw the light in your kitchen window and knew you had arrived safely.” She held his gaze, letting him see what she meant. She cared about him and his children. She wanted them to be safe and happy.

He squeezed her hand. “Nice to know.”

She pressed the matter. “Nice to know you matter?”

“Uh huh.” He sat beside her.

She turned to the boys behind her. She stroked Milo’s cheek and brushed her hand over Kit’s head. “Every woman in church is going to envy me.”

“Why is that?” Milo asked.

“Because I get to attend church with the three most handsome men in the whole county. Maybe the whole of Dakota Territory.” She swung her arms upward. “Why probably all of America.”

Milo and Kit giggled.

Boldly, Freyda turned to Ward, silently demanding a response.

His grin was lopsided. His eyes dark with a deep emotion. “America is a pretty big place.”

“Yup. I know. Remember, I traveled across a good portion of it to get here.”

“To your farm.”

“To here.” She touched her finger to her chest then touched Milo and Kit, then tapped her finger to Ward’s chest. Let him think what he wanted, but she had never spoken truer words.