Second-Chance Bride (Dakota Brides Book 3)(32)

He thought a moment. “I remember one day my aunt had company. Ladies of the church all dressed in their very best. I think they were having a prayer meeting about something. I was seven. In fact, it was my birthday, not that it meant anything to anyone but me and the only reason I even knew was because I found it in the Bible. June fifteenth. Ward Allen Rollins. It also had the deaths of my parents. But that has nothing to do with my story. Aunt had made me put on my very best clothes and warned me I must act like a real little gentlemen. I was to greet the ladies nicely and then go away and leave them alone. One lady in particular was so nice to me. She shook my hand and said how nice I looked. ‘Your aunt and uncle must be so proud of you.’ I thought my heart would burst from my chest. Every time I saw the woman at church after that she would smile at me and pat my shoulder if she was close enough. I lived for that.”

“That’s sweet.”

“I’m trying to remember only that part and not the rest.”

She stiffened, not liking the bitterness in his voice. “What happened?” She didn’t want to know and yet had to in order to understand this man.

“Aunt nudged me. ‘Say thank you.’ I did. Then Aunt pushed me toward the door with a warning whisper to stay out of the way. I sat on the step trying to hear that nice woman’s voice. I heard it several times and it made me happy. But I got bored and wandered away. I found a patch of flowers nearby. Wild roses. I tried to pick some for that lady but the petals fell off so I looked about for something else and found some pretty purple ones. I picked them and took them to the lady. Aunt Myra snatched them away and later used the switch on me for bringing those dirty weeds into the house.”

“Oh, Ward. That’s terrible.” She could hardly force the words from her tight throat.

He shrugged, his eyes glazed. “It’s in the past.”

“Feelings don’t die just because we want them to. Or order them to.” She pressed her hand to his forearm. “Every little boy deserves to be loved and valued.”

His gaze came to hers. “That is what I want for Milo and Kit.”

She rubbed her hand in a little circle. “And you give it to them.”

He nodded, his eyes not revealing anything.

She understood he was used to hiding his feelings in order to protect himself from the cruelty of his aunt. Her heart ached for the little boy who had been treated so unkindly. And the man who had lost his wife and for the fact she had not been the sort of woman he needed and wanted. Her aching heart wanted to soothe away his hurts. Not giving herself a chance to change her mind, she lifted a hand to cup his cheek. “Ward, I wish I could erase all the pain inflicted on your heart by your aunt.”

He pressed his hand to hers, trapping it. The roughness of his day-old whiskers brushed her palm. The coolness of his skin gave way to warmth. His eyes darkened and filled with hunger. He brought her palm to his lips and kissed it.

“The past can’t be erased.” His voice was hoarse.

“No, it can’t. But know this. It could have turned you into a cruel and bitter man. Instead, you’ve become a gentle, kind man.”

His fingers closed around hers and he lowered their clasped hands to his knee. “You think that?”

She smiled. “I know it. Your boys know it and so do you.”

His smile began as a flash of light in his eyes then spread to his mouth until his whole face was wreathed in joy. “That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.” He touched her cheek and studied her as if seeing her for the first time. Really seeing her.

She let him look. Let him see her sincerity. And her concern. And her wish for—

He blinked and looked around as if coming from a dream. “It’s cold and dark. You should be home safe and sound. Instead, I’ve kept you here.” He banged the heel of his hand to his head.

She half expected he would call himself stupid just as Milo had earlier. She caught his hand. “You didn’t keep me. I stayed.”

He sucked in air. “But now it will be dark before you get back and I can’t leave the boys and go with you.”

“I’ll be fine. Do you mind if I keep the blanket?” She pulled it tighter about her against the cool, damp air.

“Keep it. Do you need another?” His restless worry made her yearn to comfort him again.

“I’ll be fine. After all, haven’t I come all the way from Norway to prove I can manage on my own? Let me believe I can.”

He drew his mouth down in resignation. “I suppose I am overreacting. Remembering my aunt and talking about her makes me anxious not to do something wrong.”

“Ward Rollins.” She pressed her hand to his chest. “Stop right there. I am responsible for my choices. Not you. Now I am going to walk home. I will get there safely so don’t worry.”

“I don’t like it. How will I know you’ve arrived safely?”

“I tell you what. I will light the lantern and swing it back and forth when I get home.”

“Thank you. I will watch for it and I will light my lantern to acknowledge I have seen it.”

“Then good night.” She paused half a second, wondering if he would try and kiss her again.

“Good night. I’ll be watching.”

She took a step toward her house when he spoke again.