Sebring (Unfinished Heroes #5)(103)
“What we have is not artificial, Livvie,” he told her firmly.
“What we have is a lie,” she returned coolly. “Started on a lie, built on a lie, enduring on a lie and now, if you carry on with your bullshit, Sebring, ending on a lie. Now I think you’ve had your fun with me, I’ve definitely had my fill of you, so please, get the f*ck out of my house right the f*ck now.”
“Babe, plea—”
He stopped that time because, with no warning, she charged him. Slamming her hands into his chest and shoving hard, he heard her cry out in pain and whip one hand down before she retreated just as quickly as she came at him. She did this lifting an arm and raking her fingers through her hair so hard it was like she was tearing at it.
And she did all of this shouting, “Can you just stop? Can you just please God stop?” She shook her head, her eyes brightening with wet. “I can’t take anymore. I can’t take anymore. No more lies. No more schemes. No more using. No more orders. No more bullshit. No more! I cannot…take…anymore! God!” She tore her hand through her hair again. “I need you to go!”
“Livvie, f*ck me, baby, please come here. Please listen to me,” he begged.
Her eyes locked to his and at the look in hers, Nick’s lungs hollowed out.
“I believed,” she whispered.
“Let me come to you,” he pleaded urgently.
“You made me believe,” she accused.
“You know how it started,” he replied immediately. “And I can’t deny that, baby. I can’t deny that, my Livvie. I f*cked up. So many times, I told myself I needed to come clean with you. Too many f*cking times. I couldn’t do it. I knew it’d hurt you. I couldn’t do it. But you know it now, so why would I be here trying to convince you I’m in love with you if I wasn’t in love with you?”
“I don’t know,” she shot back, also immediately. “Why would you watch me for years? Plant bugs in the warehouse and listen to everything? Why would you own the club without telling me? Why would you sleep with me knowing my father ordered your girlfriend’s and your murder? Why would you pretend to begin caring about me when you knew that, nearly every day, I saw the man who carried out that order?”
“I loved her,” he shared.
She flinched but didn’t miss a beat.
“I can imagine, planning for years to avenge her. She must have been something.”
“Liv—”
“I don’t believe anymore, Sebring.”
“Ba—”
“You want me to believe you care? Even a little bit?” she asked, but didn’t wait for him to jump on it, she quickly finished, “Then leave.”
In desperation, unable to remain cautious, he moved to her. She moved with him, retreating around the room with each step he took. He didn’t speed up, he didn’t get aggressive, but he didn’t let up.
And he did all this saying, “First, we gotta see to that eye. Then I’ll give you some time on your own to wrap your head around this shit and calm down. I’m not leaving, but I’ll give you space. You calm down, you let me talk to you, you actually listen to me, I’ll get you to see more clearly what’s happening here.”
“I ask for one thing, even that you won’t do,” she pointed out. Having put the couch between them, she stopped. “It’s over, Sebring.”
Shit, f*ck, f*ck.
“It’s not over, Liv. I’m in love with you.”
“It’s over, Sebring.”
“And you’re in love with me too.”
“You mean something to me,” she stated and at that, his lungs started burning. They iced over when she finished, “But so did Tommy.”
“Liv—”
And that was when it happened.
Defeat slid stark all over her. It was in her face. Her eyes. The line of her frame. It was so extreme, he could feel it in air and taste it in his throat.
“Can’t you see you’re killing me?” she whispered.
He swallowed past his throat closing and whispered back, “I can’t leave you.”
“You can’t stay either.”
“We’re not done.”
“We never even started.”
“Baby, we did.”
“It isn’t for me,” she stated.
“What isn’t for you?”
“Dawn.”
Beyond tweaked, that word made him more so.
“Dawn?”
“I live in dark. Dawn never comes for me. There will be no new day where I wake up complete. Happy. Loved. There is no other side to make my way to. There is no believe. It just isn’t for me.”
“I can take you there.”
“No you can’t, Sebring. Can’t you see?”
“No, I can’t see, Livvie.”
“You can’t give me dawn and all I can give you is dark.”
“That’s f*cked up and not true.”
“It’s every day for thirty-one years, except a few, the few I shared with you, and they were all a lie.”
“Livvie—”
“Leave.”
“Liv—”
“Leave.”
“Baby—”