Scorched Treachery (Imdalind, #3)(42)

I repaired it dutifully as she slept, wrapping it in heavy bindings as she twitched, and I sang my song to her. I let the words fill her mind, my voice imprinting inside of her whether she was there to hear it or not.

It had been the same pattern for the past four days – heal her and sing to her. Then, after every time, I connected with her mind in an attempt to find her. I would keep trying everything I could to save her, to bring her back to me. I would wait forever if that were what it took.

Her body seized again, and her chest racked as she coughed, more blood drizzling from her mouth. I wiped it with the back of my hand and then onto my jeans. With nothing to clean her with, my pants had been stained a warm red hue, her blood deepening the color every day.

My fingers clung to the once soft fabric of her shirt, pulling it down just enough to check the skin on her shoulder, where the ?tít lay inside of her, the dark red scratches deepening in color as I watched, a small trickle of blood appearing on the surface. I replaced the shirt and held her against me, rocking as I clung her to me.

Desperation, it was a feeling I had rarely felt in my long life. I had never really been hopeless enough to feel it. I was always the one in control, powerful and resilient. I laughed at battle and found joy in an impending death. But with Joclyn’s injured body in my arms, I only felt desperation.

If I had ever believed in God, now would be the time I would call to Him, beg Him to save her, to bring her home. But I didn’t, and whoever had called my kind to come forth from the mud had always been strangely silent.

“Have you slept?” I didn’t even move at Dramin’s question. I kept my head curled against Joclyn, my hair falling around us.

“No,” I whispered loud enough for him to hear me. I knew my voice would carry through the cave. “Last night was bad.” I didn’t dare elaborate.

“Any new developments?” He knew there would be none, just as I did. We were still trapped in the cave, and Joclyn was still trapped in the T?uha.

“I can stay with her again today if you would like? Thom can shift rock on his own for a while, it would give you time to rest.” I knew he meant well, but I didn’t need to be coddled. Resting while Joclyn writhed was not a possibility. I would rather shift rock with Thom as I did every day. At least then, my mind could focus on other things.

“I see you braided her hair again,” he said when I didn’t answer him. I nodded at Dramin’s question, waiting for what would come next.

I had braided her hair after some of her blood had dried in it. I had been able to repair the head injury easily enough, but the dark mass of curls needed to be washed. With nothing to clean it with, I resorted to re-braiding, weaving the clumps into the intricate five strand braid. I hadn’t even realized what I had done until it was finished.

“The wedding braid is an interesting choice.” I ignored him. “To match the shoes, I take it.”

I leaned my head back and looked at him out of the corner of my eye, almost daring him to continue.

“You can imagine my surprise when she showed up wearing those things on her feet. They are excellent workmanship.”

Dramin let his unasked question linger heavy on the air. I could feel it swirl around us, the intensity of it growing the longer I left it unacknowledged.

I knew I owed him no reply; it was not my place to allow insight into my every thought. But Dramin did not ask as a curious servant, he asked as my friend and Joclyn’s brother, and in that regard, I did owe him an explanation.

“I made the shoes as a gift,” I finally said, refusing to look at him. I focused on Joclyn’s heartbeat as I spoke. The steady thrum moving through me.

“She had lost something I couldn’t even fathom; I wanted to give her what she was due. What her husband should have placed on her feet on the night of the bonding.”

“And so, with him gone, you tried to take his place.” I could hear the accusation clearly, but instead of making me angry it only made me laugh.

“You know, that was never my intention, strangely enough. I made the shoes as a gift from her newfound brother, a wedding gift. Part of me fully expected Ryland to return, to fight Edmund and reappear as if nothing had happened. But then, when she wasn’t recovering, when Ryland never came, I knew he was gone. Then, I had begun to make them for an entirely different purpose.”

“As a gift from a husband to his wife.”

I nodded. I knew it was a foolish line of thinking, and one I still resented ever having, but if that last visit into the T?uha hadn’t cured her, I would have replaced Ryland’s bond with one of my own. I knew that would have saved her, because I had seen it done before. I would have gladly taken that role if it was necessary, but it wasn’t.

It was not yet my place. She wasn’t mine to keep.

“It is not my place, Dramin.”

“Not yet,” he said. I could only smile, letting the beautiful visions of the sight from so long ago wash over me.

“She is bonded to my brother, Dramin. That is a sacred connection and one I would never take advantage of. I will protect her for him. I will keep her safe as my soul calls for me to do, but I will never take her from him. She is not mine. I love her more than I have any other. I love her enough that I would rather see her happy than in my possession. My time will come.”

I didn’t doubt that any of my words were true, and it wasn’t the fickle truth of having convinced myself to believe something. I truly believed it. I had felt it from the beginning when I first saw Ryland swing her around on the grass at her school. I knew then that I could never take that away from her, that connection. It wasn’t my place. Besides, doing things like that was not who I was.