Scarred (Never After #2)(43)

Or rather, someone.

My stomach flips when I admit to myself that perhaps that’s why I spend my nights sneaking out instead of doing what I should. Or maybe it’s the last vestiges of me hanging on to my freedom, knowing that soon I’ll be stripped of even that. I’m not naive enough to think that after everything is said and done, I’ll be the same girl I am now.

Death inevitably changes you.

Tomorrow evening, I’ll parade around on the king’s arm, like a jewel he’s captured and wishes to keep in his treasure chest.

“Tomorrow is important, cousin,” Xander says as we walk through the front courtyard.

Nodding, I swallow around the heaviness lining my stomach.

“You’ve been antsy,” he continues. “I know. Like a sitting duck.”

I quirk a brow as I glance at him. “Is it that obvious?”

“Other than you having told me?” He chuckles. “There will be reporters there.”

“I’m not inept, Alexander. I can handle a few questions.”

He stops walking, the gravel of loose stones crunching beneath his feet as he turns to face me. “After tomorrow, Sara, everything will change.”

I know that he’s right. The engagement ball is the first of many important moments that will plot out my future. I feel its truth deep down inside of me, but for the first time, there’s something else there, too. It’s heavy, and it throbs in the center of my chest, making it feel like I’m on a slow march toward death. Closing my eyes, I push down the selfish thoughts, locking them away in a corner of my heart, hoping they’ll stay lost forever.

I walk again, and Xander follows, scrambling to catch up. “In other news, I have a gift for you.”

“Do you?” I grin at him. “And what need do I have for a gift?”

He smiles back, pushing the glass frames up his nose. “I think you’ll enjoy this one.”

“Do I get to know what it is?”

“Soon.”

Simon races out of a side door at the east end of the courtyard, drawing my attention away as he runs across the grass, his toy sword drawn out in front of him.

“Little shit.”

I twist toward Xander so fast, my eyes cross. “Excuse me?”

He waves his hand toward Simon. “I don’t know how many times we have to tell his mother to keep him out of sight and where he belongs.”

My stomach sours, twisting until bile burns my throat. “And where does he belong?”

“Out of sight and out of mind.” He scowls.

“He’s a child,” I snap, anger percolating in my gut.

“He’s a scullery maid’s child.”

My brows rise, and I step away from Xander. “You believe his circumstance makes him less than?”

“Please, cousin, don’t be so naive. Everything is about stature in this world. Some belong, and some don’t.”

“Because of his skin?” My blood boils.

His face pinches as he glances at me and then back at the boy. “Because he’s an abomination.”

I laugh in disbelief, the blades strapped beneath my dress calling me, making me itch to stamp out his ignorance forever. “Oh, Alexander. I think it’s you who’s the abomination.”

Spinning around, I storm away, my insides seething.

How dare he.

Simon stands beneath the large weeping willow in the back corner of the court, his front leg stomping forward as he thrusts out his arm. “En garde!”

Warmth spreads through my chest and extends through my limbs as I make my way toward him, and I wonder, not for the first time, how anyone can be so cruel to such an innocent soul.

Stopping a few meters away, I watch him sword fighting with the air. My heart squeezes when I remember the bruising of his eye and the tears in his voice, and I wonder if he’s by himself because he doesn’t have anyone else to play with.

“Keep your wrist straight,” I call out.

He spins around, his eyes squinting as he zones in on me.

“Hey, lady.” He beams. “What d’you know about fighting?”

“More than you think.” I smirk. “Come here, let me show you what to do.”

I wave at him, and he skips over, gracing me with a beautiful, toothy grin. I spin him around by his shoulders, placing his hands in front of me, and straightening out his form. Then I brush my fingers along the tops of his arms, jostling him just a little. “You can’t be so tense, Simon. Your body will never obey you if you’re stiff like a board.”

His tiny muscles relax, and I move my hand down to cover his as he grips the base of his sword.

“Be like water. Fluid and quick.”

“Water?” He scrunches his nose, and I move his arm, showing him what my father taught me when I was his age.

I step away, allowing him to continue the movements on his own.

“That’s right,” I say. “Water is the most powerful element in the world. Calm when needed and ferocious when tried. Never assume you know something’s power because of how it appears.”

He nods, his eyes wide. “How’d you get so smart?”

I brush off invisible lint from the sleeve of my arm. “You’d be surprised what a lady knows, Simon.”

“That’s right, you should never underestimate a woman. Especially this one,” someone booms from behind me.