Say the Word(22)

“That wasn’t my question.”

I chose to ignore that statement, flopping onto my couch and closing my eyes with a sigh. I gestured vaguely toward the kitchen area. “Glasses are in the ca—”

“Cabinet above the stove. I know, love. I’ve only been here about a million times over the past two years,” she reminded me. I heard the pop of the cork and the familiar gurgling sound of wine filling a glass.

“You’re funny,” I giggled.

“You’re hammered,” she countered, sitting down gently beside me and crossing her legs. “I haven’t seen you this bad since last year’s Christmas party when we caught Trisha and Stu doing it in the copy room. And that was an occasion that called for alcohol, if there ever was one.”

“Trisha!” I squealed, deteriorating into giggles once more. “Totally the secret president of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee. Who would’ve known under all that padding? Do you think Victoria’s Secret sponsors her?”

“Unlikely,” Fae said, taking a sip of her wine. “Back to you. Care to share why you’re shitfaced at 7:00 p.m. on a work night?”

“I saw him.” I sighed.

“Saw who?”

I shook my head back and forth in slow denial. “Never thought it’d happen. Nuh uh, never in a million years,” I confided, opening my eyes and turning to face Fae. “‘Specially not today. I wasn’t even wearing my good bra… Hey! You think I should talk to Trisha? Maybe she can get me a discount!” I snorted at my own joke, laughing so hard tears started to leak from the corners of my eyes. Fae reached over and removed the wine glass from my precarious grip. Setting it carefully on the coffee table and far out of my reach, she grabbed me by the shoulders and gave me a firm shake.

“Lux, who did you see today?”

“Sebastian,” I told her, rolling my eyes in exasperation. “Obviously.”

“Obviously,” she agreed dryly. “But who, my darling little drunkard, is Sebastian?”

“I’m not supposed to talk about that,” I said with a laugh, lifting one hand to mime zipping my mouth closed and locking it. I nearly fell off the couch when I wound up to hurl the imaginary key across the room, which set me off in another fit of giggles. “It’s a secret.”

“Lux, focus.” Fae snapped one finger in front of my face in an attempt to capture my attention, her tone growing impatient. “Sebastian. Who is he?”

“Fae, you’re my bestest best friend, you know that?”

“I do know that, but I’m beginning to doubt whether I want to keep the position,” she muttered.

“What?”

“Nothing. Now tell me the big secret, otherwise I’m leaving and taking the wine with me when I go.”

“Okay, but you have to promise.” I leaned across the couch into her space, my voice dropping to a grave whisper. “Promise not to tell.”

Fae looked like she was fighting off a grin, but somehow managed to keep her face relatively serious when she stuck out her left pinky finger. “I promise,” she agreed.

I wrapped my pinky around hers and nodded solemnly. Her lips twitched.

“So who is this mystery man?”

“Oh.” I shrugged, reclining against the couch cushions and curling my knees up to my chest. “He’s only the love of my life.”

“Excuse me?!” Fae shrieked.

“Mmm,” I murmured noncommittally. The wine had worked its magic, loosening my muscles into relaxation and lulling me toward that indiscernible, transient state somewhere between consciousness and dreaming.

“What? Lux! You seriously cannot leave me hanging like this right now.”

Sleep was beckoning with undeniable force, and Fae’s voice was an unwelcome intrusion — a pesky mosquito buzzing around my head and demanding attention. I grumbled in response, nestling further into the cushions.

“What happened, Lux?”

“I broke him,” I mumbled. “So he hates me.” A solitary tear escaped from under my lashes and tracked down my cheek. “But I love him,” I added in a broken whisper.

“Christ,” Fae cursed under her breath, her tone softening. I felt the cushion beneath my head sink as she scooted closer to me, followed by the gentle touch of a hand on my hair, petting me in long soothing strokes a mother might use to calm an upset child. “Lux, love. Why didn’t you ever say anything about him?”

A sob rattled in my chest but I forced it down, trembling with the effort.

I will not shatter. I will not break. I will get through this, just like last time.

“Shhh,” Fae breathed, listening to my small hiccups of air as I fought for control. “It’s okay, love. Just relax.”

I listened to her quiet words, breathing in and out until my chest stopped aching and my tears had subsided. And with Fae’s voice in my ears and her hand in my hair, I slipped over the line of consciousness and was dead to the world.





***


The loud ringing woke me from a deep slumber.

My eyes snapped open to find my apartment cloaked in blackness. Bleary eyes yet unadjusted to the pervasive dark, I threw off the blanket Fae must’ve tucked around me before leaving and fumbled for my phone on the coffee table. My head was pounding and night had fallen outside my window, which meant I’d been out for several hours.