Save the Date(118)

“Evening, Governor,” Officer Ramirez said, his tone very nothing to see here despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

“Evening,” Governor Walker responded, heading in our direction. “What’s going on?” He stopped a few feet away from where my brothers were still standing in a line.

“Just . . . a minor incident,” Officer Ramirez said. “It’s fine.”

“Are those the Grants?” the governor asked, taking a step closer to us all.

“Hi,” Linnie said, giving him a bright smile and a wave.

“Oh,” Governor Walker said, blinking a few times, clearly at a loss to understand what was happening here. “Well, it’s nice to see you all again so soon. But . . . um . . . what are you doing here?”

“I caught these three,” Officer Ramirez said, indicating my brothers, “attempting to deface town property.” His voice had already snapped into an official-sounding cadence, like he was polishing up what he was going to say at the press conference, which didn’t make me feel any more relaxed about the whole thing.

“Town property?” the governor echoed, still sounding baffled. “But what . . . ?” He looked around, and his eyes landed on the Grant Avenue sign. “You don’t mean the sign?” he asked, shaking his head even as he started to smile. “But that’s just like in the comic! Too funny.”

Officer Ramirez cleared his throat loudly, and the governor seemed to remember himself. “Not that it’s a good thing,” he said, shaking his head firmly, like he was trying to force himself to be serious. “Not at all. It’s . . . bad.”

“But there was no actual property damage,” Rodney jumped in, speaking to the governor while keeping his eyes on the police officer. “The sign wasn’t removed or damaged in any way. Right, Officer?”

“Correct,” Officer Ramirez said after a pause. “But the intention—”

“But you can’t charge people on an intention,” Rodney said, his eyes now on the governor. “Not in an incident this minor.” The governor nodded, and I suddenly remembered reading, in one of the articles about him, that he’d been a lawyer before he was a congressman.

“It’s true,” he said. “If they weren’t doing anything, the most they could be charged with is—what, trespassing? And since this is public property, well . . .”

“But they were far too close to your house,” Officer Ramirez said, with the air of someone clearly grasping at straws. I couldn’t help but wonder if he would have just let my brothers go if the governor of the state hadn’t come along. Now that he was there, it was almost like he needed to justify himself. “As you know, if they aren’t residents, they’re not permitted to be here. And . . .”

“Oh, they aren’t a danger to me,” the governor said, waving this away, sounding incredulous. “They’re the Grants. They’re an institution around here.”

“So they’re all free to go?” Rodney asked, enunciating each of the words he spoke, like he was trying to make sure there was no misunderstanding.

Officer Ramirez just looked at my brothers for a long moment, then nodded. “I would recommend not trying this again.”

“Absolutely,” Danny chimed in immediately.

“Wouldn’t think of it,” J.J. added.

“Never,” Mike added.

“Then you’re free to go,” Officer Ramirez said, then looked down at his watch. “And as it’s now three a.m., I’d recommend you all go home.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Danny said, nodding. “Thank you, Officer. Sorry to bother you. . . .” Officer Ramirez nodded and walked back to his car, looking annoyed at all of us. It wasn’t until he was nearly back to the patrol car that I finally let myself breathe out again.

“Thank you so much,” Rodney said fervently to the governor. “We really appreciate it.”

“Oh, it was nothing,” Governor Walker said, being pulled a few steps away by his dog, who clearly had had enough with all this standing around and talking we were doing. “He just gets a little overzealous sometimes. It’s not personal.”

I nodded, keeping my face impassive, feeling that the governor probably didn’t need to know that he’d also been called to our house earlier tonight and forced to mediate a family feud.

“Well, he’s getting impatient,” he said as the dog strained against the leash again. “I’d better go.”

“Have a good night,” Linnie called to him, and he raised his non-leash-holding hand in a wave.

“Looking forward to reading the last strip tomorrow!” he called, and then a second later, he’d vanished around the corner, the dog pulling him out of sight.

Nobody spoke for another moment, like we were all waiting to make sure things were really okay, that the coast was clear. “Oh my god,” Linnie said, when a few seconds more had passed. “You guys almost got in so much trouble.” She started to laugh, then clapped her hand over her mouth, her shoulders shaking.

“Stop,” Danny said, looking at her with an overly serious face, but he wasn’t able to hold it—the sides of his mouth were trembling with the effort of keeping it in a straight line, and I could see he was on the verge of cracking up as well.