Savage Hearts (Queens & Monsters #3)(69)

“They don’t know that.”

“But I do.”

Is he deliberately trying to humiliate me? My throat gets tight. My eyes fill with water. I whisper, “Mal.”

Ignoring my distress, he says, “I know that if Declan O’Donnell could see you now, he wouldn’t be worried. Neither would your sister. They wouldn’t like the situation, obviously, because of who I am. But they’d know you were safe. They’d know you were happy, wouldn’t they, Riley?”

His tone drips acid. He wants it to burn, and holy hell, it does.

Leave it to a man to take something beautiful and crush it in his fist.

I roll off his chest, muttering, “Fuck you.”

Before I can rise from bed, he captures me and presses me down against the mattress, flattening me with his weight, pinning my arms over my head. He stares down into my eyes, all fire and fury, his tone as sharp as the edge of a knife.

“You can keep your fantasies and your forgiveness. I live in the real world. A world where actions have consequences. And don’t forget that I’m not the one who started this.”

“You could be the one who ends it.”

“He murdered my brother!”

“And I took a bullet for you. I could’ve died.”

“You didn’t.”

“No, because you saved me. Do you know why?”

He growls, “Don’t fucking say it.”

“Because you’re good. Deep down inside, you’re a good man.”

He’s got that wild look in his eyes again, the unhinged one I saw earlier. Only this time it’s less panic and more rage.

It doesn’t deter me.

“Glare at me all you want, I know it’s the truth. You stuck up for your brother when he was getting harassed. You didn’t mean to kill that guy in the bar. It was an accident. Since then, you’ve been working off a debt that will never be paid, just so your family would be safe. You’ve been doing what you’ve been doing all this time for other people.”

Through gritted teeth, he says “Stop. Talking.”

“You didn’t kill Spider. You didn’t kill me. I’m starting to think you don’t really want to kill anyone, you’re just used to following orders.”

“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”

“You could walk away now, couldn’t you, Mal? Now that everyone you love is gone, you don’t have a reason to keep doing what you do for Pakhan anymore.”

He shouts, “No, I don’t—but I want to!”

We lie nose to nose, breathing hard and staring at each other, until he gets his temper under control. Then his voice comes low and hard.

“This is my life. This is who I am. Don’t go making up pretty lies to tell yourself. To make yourself feel better that you fucked a killer.”

“I hate you right now.”

“You should hate me. I’m not good. I’ll never be good. I told you once that I’m the worst man you’ll ever meet, and that was the truth, malyutka. Like it or not, it was the truth.”

He releases me, rising from the bed to stalk naked into the closet. He disappears inside it, reemerging quickly, fully dressed. He’s holding a black bag in one hand and carrying his overcoat.

Without another word or a glance in my direction, he’s gone.





34





Kage





Lying in the hospital bed with tubes bristling from his nose and both his arms and bandages plastered over almost all his visible skin, including his face, the kid looks like shit.

I had to come see it for myself. I can’t believe this stubborn little fucker is still alive.

“Hello, Diego.”

He gazes at me. His dark eyes are surprisingly focused.

From what I’d heard, he was pretty much brain dead.

I suppose having a burning wood beam fall on your head will do that to you.

I take a seat beside his bed and set my gun on the nightstand. Except for the mechanical beeping of his heart monitor, it’s quiet in the room. Quiet and dark. The night shift nurses are on now. So are his night shift bodyguards, stationed outside the door.

Diego watched me silently as I dropped in from the HVAC duct in the ceiling after I removed the grate. Though his expression is obscured by all the bandages, he doesn’t seem surprised to see me. He hasn’t moved a muscle or made a sound.

It doesn’t look like he can.

Keeping my voice low, I say, “I hear you don’t remember a thing. Not even your own name. Is that right?”

No answer. Not a surprise.

“If it makes you feel any better, I’m not happy about this.” I make a gesture to indicate his overall fuckedness. “You’re my enemy, but I’m not a complete savage. This is no way for men like us to go.”

His gaze never strays from my face. I can’t tell if he’s listening or if he’s as aware of his surroundings as a baked potato would be.

His memory loss has saved me a lot of trouble.

Trouble of the worst kind.

It’s strange I don’t feel happier about it.

“For what it’s worth, I didn’t torture you. I kept you locked in a cage for a few weeks, sure, but it was only with the expectation that you’d break and start talking. You never did, though. Gotta say, I admire that. A man’s nothing without his honor.”