Ruthless Creatures (Queens & Monsters, #1)(91)

“I’m guessing that moving on happened just over five years ago, right?” Her laugh is small and bitter. “Right. The day before our wedding. Oh god.”

I don’t know what to say, except, “I’m sorry.”

She opens her eyes and stares at me with this hard, hateful look. It’s so vicious, I almost take a step back.

She says, “And you knew. All along, you knew all of this.”

“Natalie—”

“Don’t speak. You don’t get to speak to me anymore.”

“Please. Let me explain.”

Shakily, she stands. She holds the phone out in her trembling hand. “Take it and get out.”

“Listen to me, baby—”

“Get out of my house!”

That scream might as well be a bullet for how much it hurts me. I stand there helpless, shaking my head.

Breathing hard, trembling all over, she says, “You were supposed to kill me, weren’t you? That’s why Max said you betrayed him. You were supposed to come here and find out if I knew where David hid the money or where he went, then kill me, just like Viktor. But instead…”

She laughs. It’s the worst sound I’ve ever heard.

“Instead, you decided to do things differently. You decided to have a little fun first. So you fucked me. Made me fall in love with you. Gave me a ring and told me a million pretty lies.”

I say firmly, “No, Natalie. No.”

“When were you going to start asking me questions about him? Working it into the conversation in subtle ways?”

My voice grows louder. “I wasn’t. This is real. I fell in love with you.”

She gazes at me in anguish, her eyes bright with tears. “Sure. Just like David did. Now get the fuck out of my house, Kazimir.”

She says my given name like a curse.

Though my stomach is sloshing, my blood is boiling, and I can hardly breathe from the pain, I keep my voice steady and hold her gaze. “You don’t want me to leave. You love me. You’re mine.”

Her inhalation is a soft, broken sob. “You’re sick! Look what you’ve done to me! Look!”

She gestures to her face. It’s red now, instead of white. Her eyes are wild. Veins stand out in her neck. Her expression is the equivalent of a building on fire, burning to the ground.

“I can make it up to you.”

“You can go to hell! Max threatened my parents! My parents, Kage! What if he has someone there right now? What if another Viktor is in Scottsdale knocking on my parents’ door as we speak?”

“No. Viktor worked alone, like I do. He’d have planned to come here first, then go there.”

She stares at me in disbelief. “You actually think that should make me feel better, don’t you?”

When I don’t answer, she bolts.

She runs out of the living room and into the kitchen, headed for the back door. I grab her before she can get there and crush her to me, holding her tightly against my chest as she struggles to get away.

“Let me go!”

“Stop for a minute! Listen to me!”

“Fuck off!”

“I love you! I didn’t mean—”

“You didn’t mean anything, you lying son of a bitch!”

She squirms in my arms, shoving against me, desperate for release.

I won’t give it to her.

I kiss her instead.

She refuses to open her mouth for me, twisting her head away. I fist a hand into her hair and hold her head steady, then kiss her again.

This time she lets me thrust my tongue into her mouth. She lets me taste her, hold her, as we breathe hard through our noses, our bodies pressed together tight.

Then I feel the cold muzzle of my handgun pressed against my temple.

She pulled it out of the back of my waistband and stuck it against my skull.

I feel a flash of admiration for my brave, clever girl, but it’s quickly swallowed by despair.

“Back the fuck up,” she says quietly against my mouth.

When I open my eyes, she’s looking straight into them. So I can see clearly that in her own, there’s no shred of warmth, love, or mercy left.

My soul is in ashes. There’s nothing inside of me. I’m a rotted, empty shell.

I slide to my knees at her feet and bow my head. “Do it, then. Without you, I’m dead anyway.”

There’s a long, tense silence. Then she whispers raggedly, “I should.”

She digs the muzzle of the gun into the top of my head.

But something in her voice ignites a tiny spark of hope in my chest. I raise my head and gaze up at her, this woman I adore who I’ve just wrecked.

As she points the gun an inch from my forehead, her finger on the trigger, I stare into her eyes.

“I love you. That’s not a lie. I love you more than anything. More than I want my next breath. I’ll give anything for you to forgive me, and that includes my life.”

I lean forward so the gun rests between my brows. I raise my hands and rest them on her hips.

My heart in my voice, I say, “Kill me if it will take away your pain, love. If it will give you even a little peace, pull the trigger and end me.”

She swallows, hard. Her hands shake. She moistens her lips. With her free hand, she swipes angrily at her watering eyes.