Rushing the Goal (Assassins #8)(84)

Benji agreed. But at what expense?

She always worried about everyone else and not herself. She felt she could handle everything, so fiercely independent. It was killing him. He wanted her to lean on him. Let him help. Let him be there for her. But then, who was he to ask that of her? He had just come into her life; she wasn’t used to it. But he would do everything for her to know that he was there. That he wanted to help.

When she started back toward them, Angie’s booster seat in hand, he tried to smile at her, but she ignored him, taking Angie’s other hand. Giggling, Angie squeezed both their hands, looking at Benji then to Lucy.

“Aw, we’re like a family!” Angie cheered, swinging their hands, and Benji smiled, while Lucy did not. “Isn’t this nice, Benji?”

Benji nodded, but he didn’t answer because Lucy warned, “Angela.”

“I’m just saying,” she said simply, but Lucy wasn’t playing, and Angie’s shoulders soon fell in defeat.

God, this sucked.

Reaching his truck, he opened the back for Angie and she hopped in with her seat, shutting the door. Lucy tried to get in, but he was blocking her on purpose. Turning to him, she gave him a look. “You’re in the way.”

“I know. Listen—”

“Not now,” she said, her eyes pleading. “I can’t right now. I’m doing everything to hold it together. Please, Benji. Not right now.”

He could see it in her eyes and it gutted him. He wanted to wrap his arms around her, kiss her, tell her it was okay, but he wasn’t sure if that was a good idea. “Do you need a hug?”

Her shoulders fell as her lip wobbled and she looked away. “I do, but not now. Not with Angie right here,” she almost whispered and his heart sank.

“Rain check?”

“Yeah,” she whispered as she pulled in another breath. He nodded, opening the door for her. She climbed in, and before he shut the door, he heard Angie ask if she was okay. Walking around the car, he saw Lucy reassure her daughter that she was. But he didn’t think she was, and he also wasn’t sure they were okay.

He wasn’t sure which thing bothered him more.

But he knew he could deal with them not being okay; he could fix that. But he worried about her. Could he fix her? Would she even let him?

Swallowing hard, he started the truck as Angie asked, “Did you hear from Dad, Mom?” Lucy stiffened as she folded her hands in her lap. But before she could answer, Angie said, “I didn’t see him. Sucks he didn’t come.”

Shaking her head, Lucy let out a long breath. “He was there. You didn’t see him?”

“No, where was he?”

“By the visitors’ side.”

Angie thought that over for a moment. “Why didn’t he say anything to me?”

Rage filled Benji’s soul as he sucked in a frustrated breath. What a dick.

“I don’t know, honey,” Lucy said sadly, and Benji couldn’t stop himself, he reached over and laid his hands on Lucy’s. “I’m sorry he didn’t.”

“Isn’t your fault,” she said simply, and Lucy closed her eyes as Benji squeezed her hand.

“She’s right, it’s not,” he said then, but Lucy didn’t say anything, she just looked out the window.

And he wanted to shake her.

At lunch, she also had nothing to say. No one really did, though. Benji talked hockey with Jayden and River, while the girls gushed over Angie. Lucy, though, she just sat there, smiling when she should. But it never reached her eyes. He tried to enjoy lunch. Autumn was a hoot, and River was so doting on her and Baylor and really proud of Angie. He remembered the man to be so hard, but seeing him with his ladies was sweet. It was obvious he loved them all. Even Lucy. He wrapped his arm around her, hugging her, and she curled into his side. But she didn’t say anything, just a weak smile that didn’t fool anyone.

“Honey, eat,” Autumn urged but Lucy shrugged.

“I’m fine, Mom, just tired. Not really hungry.”

She was a horrible liar and everyone knew it, especially Autumn. To his surprise, though, she didn’t say anything as she turned to look at Benji. “Benji, where are you from?”

Laying his fork down, he wiped his mouth and sat up straight. “Chicago, right outside the city in the suburbs.”

“Oh, how nice. Is your family still there?”

Benji paused. He wasn’t sure, but he assumed so. “Yeah.”

“Is it just you? Or do you have siblings?”

He cleared his throat, Silas heavy on his heart as he tried to smile. “I had a brother, but I lost him in a car wreck when he was seventeen.”

Angie’s brows pulled together. “He died?”

Benji nodded sadly. “He did.”

“That’s so sad, I’m sorry. Isn’t that sad, Mommy?”

Lucy looked up then, meeting Benji’s gaze. “Yeah, it is.”

He gave her a small smile and he picked up his fork as Autumn asked, “So are you single, Benji?”

“He is!” Angie giggled and Lucy cut her a look.

Autumn beamed as Benji laughed. “Actually, sunshine, I’m seeing someone.”

Angie’s eyes widened as she looked to her mom, and Lucy shrugged. “What?”