Ruined (Barnes Brothers #4)(11)

“Remind me to never do that again.” Ressa rolled her eyes. “I ended up having my bachelorette party here in Vegas.”

“Hey.” Keelie pointed at her. “I flew your guests out here. Don’t tell me y’all didn’t have fun last night.”

“Weeeellllllll . . .” Ressa winked at her.

They both laughed.

“So I’m here because of a bet,” Sebastien said.

“You’re here because it’s family.”

At his mother’s words, he looked over at her. He couldn’t avoid it any longer.

She wasn’t smiling. There were tears in her eyes and the sight of them hit him like a punch. “Mom . . .”

“Please, don’t.” She held up a hand and rose. “Weddings always make me emotional. Two of my boys now. Almost three.”

As she hurried off, Sebastien forced himself to stand up. “I . . . uh . . . I’ll be back. I should go talk to her.”





Chapter Four




Sebastien found his mom standing out on the wide, extravagant balcony that faced most of the glittering sparkle of Las Vegas.

She dabbed at her eyes.

“Go back inside, baby. I’m fine.”

“I’m not.” He shoved his hands inside his pockets and waited for her to turn and look at him.

She did, but it was slow and Sebastien had the gut-wrenching feeling that his mother almost didn’t want to look at him.

Her eyes were kind, though.

“Sebastien, as soon as you decide you’re ready to be okay, you’ll get on that road soon enough.”

He laughed and the sound was hollow enough to his own ears. “Is it really that simple? I just have to decide?”

“As stubborn as you are?” Denise pursed her lips and pretended to mull it over. Then she nodded. “Yes.”

She came to him then and reached up, cupping his cheek.

He flinched as her thumb brushed against the scar but he didn’t pull away.

“You haven’t had a drink since you got here.” Her eyes narrowed thoughtfully. “When was the last time you had one?”

He flushed crimson. He didn’t even have to have a mirror on hand to know just how red his face was. He could feel the burn of it.

“Well?”

If he didn’t answer, she’d just continue to wait and it wasn’t like he’d turn his back on her. Not right now. If he was drunk, that was one thing. Sober, though . . .

Easing away from her, he made his way over the balcony and stared down. “Marin came to my place two days ago. I was sobering up when she knocked. Haven’t had anything since.”

“Two days. Wow. When was the last time you went two days without a drink?”

This time, he didn’t answer, but she didn’t push.

“You did it because you weren’t going to come to your brother’s wedding drunk and all you had to do was make that decision,” Denise said quietly. “You’re so stubborn, Sebastien. At times, that’s been a curse. Especially over this past year. You’ve got it in your mind that you’re to blame for what happened to Monica and you’re not. But it can also be a blessing.”

He held still as she moved closer and kissed him on the cheek. “Decide you’re ready to be okay, baby. You deserve better than this.”

She was walking away, was almost to the door when he said, “Mom?”

“Yes, Sebastien?”

“I’m sorry for . . .” He blew out a breath and lifted his eyes up to stare at the sky. The stars were impossible to see here so he just stared at the dark canopy overhead. “I’m sorry for everything. The past year, how I’ve acted. How I’ve hurt you—all of you.”

“Don’t be. You’ve hurt yourself more than any of us. Just . . . find yourself. We miss you.”

***

“I’m happy for you two.”

He’d stayed outside for more than thirty minutes before he went back inside, thinking about what his mother had said, trying to find the wrong in her words, but failing. He hadn’t expected otherwise, though.

Not really.

This was his mother, after all.

He realized that on some level she was mortal and had messed up before, but he sure as hell hadn’t ever seen proof of it.

He just wished he could figure out how to be okay again. How to find himself. He couldn’t.

The one thing he could do was fake it. It was just acting, after all. Playing a part. He could do that with the best of them and nobody would ever know. He’d pretend to be who he had been—or a close version. If he went in there all happy-go-lucky, they’d see through it and that wasn’t any good.

But he could come close.

Smile, shake hands. Be happy for them. And he was.

Still, as he sat in front of Keelie and Zane, smiling and offering the trite phrase, he knew they could see right through him.

Keelie rested her head on Zane’s shoulder. “I’m glad you came out of your cave, Sebastien.”

He winced a little, although the bluntness of her words was no surprise. Keelie wasn’t exactly known for sugarcoating things. “Yeah, well . . . I hope I don’t ruin things while I’m here.”

“Don’t worry about Zach.” Zane glanced down the table and shrugged. “Mom’s already got him in line.”