Ruin(61)

“Well, Lisa did pay me…” I joked.
“Good to know you still have a sense of humor, jackass.” Gabe smacked my shoulder and hugged me so tight I couldn’t breathe for a few seconds. “You beat the hell out of this cancer or I’m hunting you down, got it?”
“Got it.”
Gabe started walking out of the room when I called him back. “Gabe?”
“Yeah?”
“Be my best man?”
“Best man?”
“Yeah, in three hundred and sixty-six days, I’m getting married to Kiersten. Be my best man?”
“You’ve got yourself a deal.” He chuckled. “Does Kiersten know about this?”
“Of course. She loves me, you know.”
“Yeah, I know.” Gabe laughed again. “See you on the other side, man.”
Ten minutes went by and then Kiersten walked in.
She was wearing a white dress.
“Sorry. This was all I could find on short notice.”
“You’re wearing a—”
“A wedding dress.” She laughed. “I thought it would give you some much needed inspiration. Now you can dream about me in a white dress — you taking me out of said white dress — me saying yes when you ask me to marry you… yes to all of the above.”
“Come here.” I lifted my hands to her. In an instant she was in my arms, her head buried against my chest. “I love you, Little Lamb.”
“I love you too, Wolf.” She sobbed. “You’re my favorite.”
“Favorite what?”
Kiersten drew back her eyes wide with hope. “Favorite everything. You’re my favorite. Out of all the things I could have in the world that would be my favorite, you win. You win all of it.”
“Wow, pretty high praise.” I smiled and dug my hands into her hair.
“What do you love more?” she teased. “My hair or my heart?”
“Why give me only two choices? Don’t leave out your legs, your laugh, the way you bite your lip when you’re thinking, the feel of your breath on my face, the sound of your voice in the morning, the way you taste, the three freckles on your nose, the fan of your eyelashes, the caring spirit, the determined soul — so why stop at your hair and your heart? How do you expect me to choose? When what I love the most about you — is you.”
I could tell she was trying not to cry. Her face was flushed, her eyes blurred with tears.
“I. Love. You.” I looked directly into her eyes. “It’s not the end.”
“I know,” she agreed. “I know it here.” She pressed her hand to my chest, “And I know it here.” She moved her hand and pressed it to her own chest. “Have a nice rest, Wes, and know I’ll be waiting for you when you wake up.”
I nodded.
“It’s time.” Another nurse walked in, one I didn’t recognize. She gave Kiersten a sad smile and escorted her out, just as Angela walked in.
“Alright, sweetie.” Angela cupped my cheek. “Time to go to sleep and when you wake up — no more cancer.”
Confused, I stared at her, I mean really stared at her, I could have sworn I was looking at my mom. I blinked a few times and shook my head.
“Thank you,” I finally said. “You’ve been a fantastic nurse.”
“Remember one thing.” She grabbed my bed and began rolling it out the door.
“What?” I asked as she paused in the rolling.
“You may not see every single piece of the puzzle that creates your life — you may not see every move the grand chess player makes — but know, He is in complete control of the game board. Sometimes certain pieces are moved or knocked over to make room for new ones. Other times, things happen because of the world we live in. But everything, in the end, will always turn out for good. It’s a nice promise, isn’t it? To know that there’s a reason for it all? A reason for your cancer — maybe by having cancer you’ve saved the lives of three of your best friends. Had you not been sick, would you have met them? Had you not been sick, would you have found the love of your life? Maybe it’s not in the perfection of life that things make sense, but in the chaos.”
She stood and pushed me down the hall. Her words haunted me the entire way. As I was rolled into the surgical room, I reached for her hand. She gripped mine hard within hers. And then, when I was given the injection to sleep, I looked to my right, at her left hand… on her ring finger was a ring. The exact one my father had given my mom, the one she wore until the day she died… I opened my mouth to say it, but heaviness invaded my eyes, I fell into a deep sleep, a smile on my face.



Chapter Forty-Six

Ten hours? What was I supposed to do for ten hours? Pray? I was praying. I was trying not to cry and Gabe was trying to cheer me up by telling me embarrassing stories of Lisa’s childhood — not helpful, but he was trying.

Kiersten
After five hours, I was ready to go crazy. They said the surgery could take anywhere from ten to twelve hours. Randy said that if the doctors came out within the first hour it wasn’t good news. It meant it was inoperable, but he had high hopes, so the minute we were out of the woods after the first two hours had passed, I relaxed a bit.
I looked at the clock again. It was noon. By Five, I should have Wes back in my arms, hurting, but at least alive. I closed my eyes and concentrated on his kisses.
Gabe hit me in the arm. I looked up. A doctor was walking toward us. His head down. It was too soon. No! No! I knew it was too soon for him to be briefing us! My heart faltered and then thundered against my chest as I gripped Gabe’s hand and waited for the news.