Ruby Shadows (Born to Darkness #3)(143)

“Think about it, Gwendolyn,” he said gently. “The only ways to get part of a mortal’s soul is by using a soul hook or…”

“Or by making love,” I said, looking down at the sand.

“Exactly. And how would you have reacted if I had suggested either option to you at the beginning of our little adventure?”

“I would have told you to f*ck off,” I said bluntly. “I would have thought it was a trick—just a way to get me to sleep with you.”

“Exactly,” Laish said again. “I needed you to travel with me and grow to trust me. Trust me enough that you would have no suspicion of the way I planned to betray you.”

“Betray me?” I asked, looking up at him. “You mean by taking my virginity completely when the barrier was already broken and the tax had already been paid?”

He nodded. “Regretfully, the theft of a soul—even of only half a soul—requires a betrayal. If it is given freely, the deception is not necessary. But since I knew that was not an option—”

“How did you know?” I demanded, glaring at him. “Why didn’t you at least ask me? I trusted you, Laish—I would have listened. By the end of our time in Hell I would have done just about anything you said.” I hated to admit that but it was the truth.

“You would have listened if you had felt the same way about me that I feel about you,” he murmured. “But I knew you did not.”


“What? Because I didn’t feel ready to say ‘I love you’ yet?” I asked. “I mean, that’s a lot to ask when we’d only been traveling together a few days!”

He shook his head. “It wasn’t your inability to speak the words that made me certain you did not return my feelings, mon ange. It was the fact that the Mirror of the Eye did not show you my image when you looked into it.”

“But…but I…” I closed my eyes, remembering when he had asked if I had seen him in the magic mirror which showed the person you cared for or loved the most. He had made me look in it with him and he had seen me. But though I had, in fact, seen him the second time I looked, I had lied and said I didn’t.

Why did it do that? Why did I lie?

I knew the answer. It was because admitting the feelings that were growing for him inside made me feel vulnerable—exposed. Not to mention really damn frightened.

“What? What is it, mon ange?” Laish had obviously picked up on my distress though, surprisingly, he hadn’t read my thoughts.

“It…it did show me your image,” I said in a low voice. “I just didn’t want to tell you because it made me feel weak and scared. I…I didn’t know if I wanted to have feelings for you.”

“But you did?” He laughed, a little sadly I thought. “Ah, if only I had known. But it is too late—my betrayal is complete now.”

I took a deep breath and looked up at him.

“What—you mean the way you took my virginity? Or the way you formed a soul bond with me without telling me?”

Laish nodded thoughtfully, clearly unsurprised.

“I knew you would find out eventually. Especially once you realized I had stolen half of your soul.”

“I should have figured it out sooner,” I said evenly. “Considering that instead of having only half my power I now have enough for a whole coven of witches.”

“Do you really?” He looked interested. “I thought as much when I saw you use that word of power on Druaga. Most impressive, my little witch.”

“I wasn’t trying to impress anyone—I was trying not to get raped,” I said evenly, trying to suppress the sick feeling in my stomach the memory brought up.

“I am sorry I didn’t come to your aid sooner,” he said seriously. “I came as fast as I could—as fast as the Creator would allow.”

“What?” I frowned at him. “Do you mean you met God? Uh—the Creator?”

He nodded. “Remember when you said you thought I was dead and I told you that I was for a time? Well, I was. I did not survive my fall into the Abyss.”

“You didn’t? You died?” I could scarcely believe it. “So then, what happened? How did you come back?”

Laish sighed. “It is a long story. Why don’t we sit and I will tell you. Here…” He led me over to where a small blanket had been spread on the sand which was rapidly cooling now that the sun was almost gone. In the lengthening shadows, I saw his eyes were glowing deep red as he looked at me.

We settled on the blanket and I wiggled a little, trying to get the sand under me to conform to a more comfortable shape. At last when I was ready, I looked up at him again.

“All right—tell me.”

“When I was dragged down into the Abyss the Ancient Ones took what they wanted of me.” He drew in a deep breath. “To put it bluntly, they tore me limb from limb.”

“Oh, Laish!” I felt tears rise in my eyes and tried to blink them back. That was exactly the kind of thing I’d been afraid had happened to him, back when I’d been sure he was dead. To hear that he had actually suffered just as much as I’d been afraid he was suffering made me feel awful. Especially since he had basically sacrificed himself to keep those horrible, seeking tentacles from grabbing me.

“It’s all right,” he murmured, cupping my cheek and brushing away a tear with his thumb. “Because thanks to your soul, I did not immediately revert to the Lake of Fire. Instead, I was drawn up to Heaven, to stand before the Judgment Throne. There I came face-to-face with the Creator for the first time since my fall.”