Ruby Shadows (Born to Darkness #3)(115)

An edge I could not let her walk.

“Gwendolyn…” I stepped towards her but she eluded my touch. I was having none of that, however. “Gwendolyn,” I said again and took her by the shoulders.

“Let me go!” She struggled but I held her firmly—I needed to look her in the face when I said what I had to say.

“What is it?” she snapped and her green eyes were filled with rage and pain. “What do you want with me?”

“Only to let you know this—I care for you deeply, my darling. More deeply than I can say.”

“I know how you feel. I just…don’t understand why you did what you did.” She blinked, trying not to cry. It made my heart sore to see her pain but I knew I must continue—there was no other way.

“Gwendolyn,” I murmured. “Do you really think I want to hold you against your will? There are so many other ways I could have done that if I wished. The very food of the Infernal Realm has the power to damn you to Hell for eternity but have I not fed you of myself to keep that from happening?”

“Well…yes,” she admitted grudgingly. I could see her relenting and so I pressed a little harder.

“Have I not protected you and sacrificed for you and shielded you from harm as well as I am able?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

“Gwendolyn,” I whispered, stroking her cheek. “Did the Mirror of the Eye not show that you are in my heart? You know that I cannot be lying to you when I tell you how I feel for you.”

“I know.” She nodded and pressed her soft cheek into my palm. “I know, Laish.”

I had her exactly where I wanted her and it made my heart ache. Yet, there was no other way now—she had rejected the sacrifice so this was my only path forward. I had to keep her safe, even if it made her hate me later.


I looked into her eyes. “Mon ange, I love you,” I murmured.

“I…I know. I’m sorry I don’t know how I feel for you. I’m so confused right now.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I told her gently. “All that matters is that you know I care for you too much to trap you and tie you to me against your will.”

I told the lie with all the sincerity that I could muster though it tasted like ashes in my mouth. I did care for her—that was true. I loved her as much as my dark, demon’s heart would let me love. But I would tie her to me if I could—it was the only way to save her.

The only way to keep her safe.

* * * * *

Gwendolyn

I wished I could tell Laish that I loved him too but I just didn’t know how to feel. After watching him kill Ray with the silver athame as calmly as if he was snuffing out a candle flame, I felt all twisted into knots inside.

He’s a demon, I told myself. I’m sure this isn’t the first time he’s killed—hell, it’s probably not even the hundredth or the thousandth.

Somehow, the thought failed to comfort me. All I could think was that Laish had killed Ray for me—that even though I hadn’t wielded the knife, I was still somehow to blame. The realization gave me a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

My inner turmoil was made worse by the fact that I was fiercely glad that the evil bastard was dead. Free—Keisha’s finally free! I couldn’t help thinking. That son of a bitch, Ray got what was coming to him.

Yes, he had—but at what cost?

The strange stew of emotions and the aftershock of the killing made me dizzy. I put a hand to my head, feeling like the world was spinning around me.

“Gwendolyn, are you all right?” Laish put an arm around me, supporting me as he looked at me anxiously.

“Fine, just…I think I need to sit down a minute.” I started to sit down on the sandy ground but he stopped me.

“We can do better than that.” With a wave of his hand, a small but lovely pavilion-type tent appeared. It was made of some kind of yellow silky fabric with a round top and was lit from within by a golden light.

“Whoa—what’s that?” I eyed it uncertainly.

“A place to rest.” Laish supported me as he led me into the tent. Inside it had a broad, comfortable looking bed heaped with plush pillows and spread with linens the same pale yellow as the tent itself. There was an old fashioned oil lamp glowing softly on the bedside table. Laish even showed me a flap on one wall that led to a small shower area stocked with my favorite body wash and fluffy towels.

“This is gorgeous,” I said, looking around the small but luxurious tent. “But I thought you were trying to conserve your power.”

“That was before,” he said. “I will shortly have enough power to deal with any number of problems.”

Slowly, the meaning behind his words sank in.

“Oh, you mean after we…” I cleared my throat—it was still hard to say the words out loud but somehow I made myself. “You mean after we make love,” I made myself say.

He nodded gravely. “Yes, that’s right.”

“So you’ll get a power surge out of it—out of taking my, uh, innocence?” I tried not to sound bitter but it was difficult—especially since my own power was soon to be cut in half.

Laish sighed. “Yes, but I cannot help that, mon ange. I can no more help getting power from lust than you can help getting energy from the food you eat or oxygen from the air you breathe.”