Rough, Raw, and Ready (Rough Riders #5)(49)

Edgard shrugged. “I’m used to it.”


“Even when you were traveling with Trevor?”


He expelled an exasperated sigh. “Chassie, is this something you really wanna hear?”


“It’s something I need to hear if you’re in our life.”


Our life seemed to jar him. “You are just as damn curious as Greta, aren’t you?”


“Worse. And I’ll warn you I’m stubborn as a mule and tenacious as a bulldog. I’ll keep pesterin’ you until your answers suit me.”


“Why?”


“Because I’ve got nothin’ to lose if I ask these questions and everything to lose if I don’t.”


A considering look crossed Edgard’s face. “You are wise beyond your years, aren’t you?”


“I feel much older than twenty-five, that’s for damn sure.”


“Yet, you don’t look a day over eighteen,” he murmured.

Chassie rolled her eyes. “You don’t need extra sugar in your coffee this mornin’, your mouth is already so damn sweet, so start spillin’ your guts.”


He smiled. “Most nights on the road, after Trevor and I hooked up, Trevor and I slept in the same bed. Unless he and Colby were out or if they were entertaining buckle bunnies in our motel room. Then I crashed in the horse trailer.”


“Were you jealous? When he was with women?”


“Sometimes.” Edgard dumped another spoonful of sugar in his coffee. “Mostly I was accustomed to it.”


“Did you ever, oh, go f*ck another guy and rub it in his face afterward?”


He didn’t seem surprised by the question. “Once.”


When Edgard didn’t elaborate, Chassie waved her hand in front of his face to snag his attention. “Come on, Ed. This is juicy stuff. You can’t stop now.”


“We were at the Denver Stock Show. Somehow I ended up going to dinner with Trevor and his family. His brother Brent started talking shit about a hired hand who’d recently come out. Brent spewed all these dumb gay jokes. Normally, I ignore that kinda behavior, consider the source and all that. But Trevor drank too much—like he always does when he’s forced to deal with his family—and he joined in, acting like a homophobic prick because that’s what his family expected.”


“What’d you do?”


“What could I do? I was beyond pissed off. Trevor not telling anyone about us was always a big issue between us. I understood his reasons and never pushed it. But when he made fun of guys who had the balls to come out of the closet? That was a line he shouldn’t’ve crossed. I hated he’d done it in front of me.” Edgard shoved a hand through his hair. “After dinner, the whole family loaded up and went to the big rodeo dance. I declined.

“I burned my bootheels getting to the gay cowboy bar in Denver and hooked up with a dentist who was in town for the rodeo. I spent the night in his hotel room and didn’t see Trevor until the following afternoon when we had to compete.”


Chassie figured she wouldn’t much care for Trevor’s jealous reaction, but she wouldn’t be surprised by it.

“We sucked in the arena. Lost our chance for points or purse. Soon as we were alone he lit into me. We fought. Not with words. With our fists. We beat the shit out of each other, Chass. It was ugly.”


“Where’d it happen? Since you were always so discreet?”


“In the living quarters of the horse trailer. Trev said something. I said something back. He took the first punch. I landed the last. Christ, we were rolling around on the floor, bleeding—”


“Whoa—bleeding?”


Edgard closed his eyes. “When we were shoving each other some beer bottles got broken and we just kept going, stomping all over them. Trevor slipped and fell and I didn’t help him up, I just kept beating on him. So he has a cut on his back and I have a gash on my arm as a memento.”


She didn’t comment since she couldn’t imagine the frustration they’d been dealing with before Edgard stepped out on Trevor.

“Colby damn near had to break down the door. He threatened to find new traveling partners if we didn’t get a handle on the situation. Somehow we reassured him we’d deal with it, but that was the beginning of the end for us.”


“What do you mean?”


“Trevor wanted to be with me only on his terms. I was tired of the secret life and the lies it took to maintain it. At the time…I couldn’t see past my self-righteous streak that I wasn’t gonna hide who I was from anyone any more.”


At the time? Strange way to phrase it. “The dentist reminded you of that?”


“He reminded me lots of men live together openly. Did I engage in a one-night stand to hurt Trevor? Probably. But it ended up hurting me too because it gave me a taste of what I could never have. At least not with Trevor. I’d never been into the multiple partner, circle jerk, meaningless fast encounters in the clubs or bathrooms. I’ve always been…”


“What?”


“Choosy.”


“And that’s bad?”