Rough, Raw, and Ready (Rough Riders #5)(38)

Trevor swallowed his disbelief as he reached for Chassie’s hand. He didn’t speak for a bit.

A disgruntled, “What?” tumbled from her pursed lips.

“You were ready to kick me out yesterday after just seein’ Ed kissin’ me.”


“Ah yeah. I know.”


“It made you jealous. So you think you can handle seein’ what we are when we’re really together? Sexually? As lovers?”


Chassie looked straight at him. “I want to try.”


He considered her.

“What? You don’t believe me, do you?”


Trevor shrugged. “Hell, if you remember, you offered me to Ed at one point yesterday, sayin’ you were done with me.”


Edgard snorted softly.

A feeble smile appeared on Chassie’s face.

“Then you asked me not to be with Ed while you were gone. Which I respected.” His eyes cut to Edgard. “Which we both respected.”


“I know that too, Trev.”


“So how am I supposed to believe you want me to be with him now? How can I believe you ain’t gonna change your mind?”


“I said things out of anger because I was hurt. Because it was such a shock that I didn’t know anything about him or how you felt then or now.” She tried to dislodge his hand but he held tight. “It didn’t have to be a shock. You could’ve told me.”


“You’re wrong, Chassie. Telling you would’ve served no purpose,” Edgard said.

After Edgard spoke, her gaze zoomed to him. “Why?”


“If Trevor couldn’t admit how he felt about me to me, or even to himself, what chance did he have of explaining it to you so you understood? Especially when he knew how much that declaration would hurt you?”


“It would’ve hurt no matter what. With all the confusing thoughts runnin’ through my mind, one thing stuck out, one thing haunted me.”


“Which was what, baby?” Trevor asked.

“Longing. I saw it on your face. I saw it on Ed’s face. I didn’t understand it. But I had seen it before. Off and on since the first time we met.” She squeezed her eyes shut.

“Made me think of my brother because I’d seen it on his face too goddamn many times to mention. I never knew what it meant when he’d get that far off look. Now I think I do. If Dag would’ve trusted me, if he would’ve trusted one person in his life, one person that he didn’t have to lie to, one person who would try to understand, one person who loved him no matter what he did, or who he loved, would it have made a difference?”


“I don’t know, but you can’t beat yourself up about that, Chass.”


“Too late, even when I can’t go back and change the past. Not Dag’s past, not the past you two shared, but I can go forward. We all can go forward. Start fresh.”


Chassie opened her eyes. “Neither of you used my absence last night as an excuse to be together like you both longed to.” Her laugh was soft and sob-like. “It sounds crazy, but I know neither of you want to hurt me, you’d rather hurt yourselves again and I can’t live with that either. So seeing you two together is what I’ve come up with to start. If either of you has a better idea, I’m all ears.”


Edgard snatched her free hand. “So if Trevor and I are together tonight, what does that mean for tomorrow night? And the nights after that?”


“I don’t know. I wish I could guarantee I won’t have a screaming, hissy jealous fit at seein’ your hands on him, Ed. But the only thing I can promise is that for tonight, it’s not about me. It’s about you two. What you bring to each other. I won’t stand in your way, I won’t pass judgment. I won’t participate, I’ll try like hell not to interrupt. I’ll just be there watching.”


Edgard’s eye caught Trevor’s and the pure heat caused his desire to escalate and his cock to harden.

Still, Trevor held that split-second of doubt. Was Chassie doing something that’d hurt her in the long run just because she knew it was what he wanted now?

The greedy part of his brain screamed, Why are you questioning her motives when she’s given you a goddamn green light—go go go!

“You understand if I start touchin’ him tonight, I won’t be able to stop.”


Chassie nodded.

“Good.” Edgard softly kissed Chassie’s hand and set it on the table. He stood. Before he even turned toward Trevor, Trevor was out of his chair and on him.

Their mouths met in a furious kiss. Trevor trapped Edgard’s face in his hands. He inhaled Ed’s whole mouth like a sumptuous feast, making up for the mere crumbs he’d tasted the day before.

For the longest time they remained plastered body-to-body in a deep lip lock.

Reacquainting themselves with the urgency of long denied desire and endless, unstoppable kisses.

Edgard pulled away with a gasp, resting his forehead to Trevor’s. His entire body shook. He clutched Trevor’s arms as the breath sawed in and out of his lungs.

Trevor smoothed his hands over Edgard’s silken hair, repeating, “It’s okay.”


“I wanted…I needed…”