Rooted (Pagano Family #3)(22)

That was a thought for another time. Her eyes were blurring; it was nearly four o’clock. She closed out of the highlight list. Before she could close down her tablet entirely, she noticed that she was on Orchids’ dedication page. Carmen rarely bothered reading dedications and acknowledgements in books; she considered them private messages meant for particular people. But now this one caught her eye:

To Elias and Jordan, who lost their watch, too.

Grab hold my hands, sons.

Grab hold each other.

Make a circle.

A dial.

Turn

Up your faces

And find our sun.

We’ll keep time together.

She’d been wrong. There was poetry in Orchids in Autumn. In truth, there was poetry on every page. He’d loved hard, he mourned hard, and he’d laid his open heart out on paper and offered it up to the world. She’d been wrong about that, too—he wasn’t invisible in his grief. He’d been subsumed by it.

Carmen’s eyes blurred acutely. She tried to tell herself that was fatigue. She tried to tell herself the lump in her throat was fatigue, too. But she knew better. She set her tablet aside and closed her eyes. As she drifted off, a certainty enveloped her—she should not call Theo. She should never see Theo again. Because she could feel things stirring inside her. Maybe once-in-a-lifetime things. He was making her feel them.

And he’d felt them for someone else.



oOo



When she woke, the sun was blazing bright in the room, and Rosa was moving about in the kitchen. Carmen opened her tablet and checked the time. Past ten. She tossed back the throw, which she didn’t remember covering herself with, and went to check on her sister.

Rosa was sitting at the small table, drinking coffee and nibbling a piece of toast. Her hair was wet, and she wore her fluffy blue robe. She’d showered; that was a good sign.

“Morning, glory. How’re you feeling?” Carmen went and got herself some coffee, too. She felt a little bit like she’d had a wild night out.

“I’m okay. Embarrassed, and a little wiggly, but okay.” She looked okay, too. Fresh-faced, even.

“No need to be embarrassed, sis. We don’t need to see those guys again.”

Rosa looked up from her coffee at that, her eyes sharp. “But I want to. I want to have the day we planned today.”

“It’s a bad idea. Let’s just move on.”

“But Theo—you like him.”

Carmen scoffed, but she had to look away. “Please. I barely know him.”

“No, you like him. You’re nice to him. And he looks at you like there’s a heavenly light shining down on your head. Plus, he’s hot. For an old guy, he’s wicked hot.” She sipped her coffee, which was half milk—Rosa liked it sweet and creamy and barely worthwhile. “He’s really old, though, isn’t he? I mean, he’s their father.”

Carmen shrugged. “Didn’t ask. Don’t care.” She’d done the math, however. Eli was twenty-five or so. There was mention in Orchids of him being twenty when Maggie died, and that was about five years ago, she thought. So Theo was mid-forties, probably. At least. But he looked closer to her own age.

“Pfft. You care. I can tell. And anyway, I like Jordan. He’s fun and weird and has amazing taste. I want to go shopping with him, and I want to do our fancy date. I want to see Eli in a tux.”

“You still like Eli? Even after last night?”

“Yeah. I don’t know if he likes me still, but he was nice to me. I remember everything. I wish I didn’t. I was obnoxious. But he was nice.”

He had been pretty nice to her, but one thing stuck in Carmen’s craw. “He was calling you Jersey Shore, Rosie. That didn’t seem so nice to me.”

She was quiet for a few seconds. “Yeah. That didn’t bother me last night, but I guess it does now. He’s not even right. Jersey and Rhody aren’t the same thing.” Again she paused. “Is my accent that bad?”

It was more than the accent—in fact, the accent was probably the least of it—but Carmen wasn’t about to take that all on during this morning-after moment. “It’s broad, yeah. But all your friends sound the same. At home, it’s not so noticeable, you know?”

“You and Carlo hardly have one at all. Luca and John, neither. Just me and Joey. How come?”

Joey’s wasn’t even as broad as Rosa’s—and Joey’s had been all but gone since his speech had changed. That answer was easy, and also difficult. “Mom wouldn’t let us. If we dropped our Rs or whatever, she’d make us say it again. She did that with you, too, but you were still young when she died. I guess you were still picking up your speech habits.”

She sighed. “Mom dying really f*cked me up.”

Carmen agreed—she was just beginning to understand how much. She reached over and gave her sister’s arm a squeeze. “Okay. Theo gave me his number. If you’re sure you’re up for it, I’ll call and see if our plans are still on for today.”

They could have a nice dinner and then say good night. She could be around Theo and not have it ignite something. He was just a man. Beyond a booty call, for which Theo was no longer a candidate, she had no need of a man.



oOo



Theo had sounded relieved and thrilled to hear from her, but she tried not to encourage him. They arranged to meet for lunch, and afterward, he and Eli would go off for a few hours while Carmen allowed herself to be dragged around through boutiques with Rosa and Jordan.