Room for You(65)

“That’s not true!” My hands started shaking as my tone grew louder.

“Oh, really?” She raised her eyebrows as she challenged me. “What has Brody done to make you jump ship?”

I sat silent, looking from Alexa to Lauren, hoping she would step in and defend me, but she was clearly on Alexa’s side with this.

“Exactly … nothing,” she continued. “You’re letting those two bitches get into your head about Brody and it’s ridiculous. Seems to me that Kendall still wants Brody, but he clearly has no interest in her. Why on Earth would you believe those skanky hoes over him?”

Lauren’s gaze whipped toward Alexa. “Did you just say skanky hoes?”

“I don’t know.” I ignored Lauren, fingering my silver necklace.

“You do know but you don’t want to say it, so I’ll say it. You’re scared.” She tilted her head to the side and waited for me to argue, but I couldn’t. “I’ll continue … you’re scared because while you didn’t plan for it, you’ve fallen for this guy, head over heels. You’re in love with him and that’s a good thing, Kacie, but you don’t see it like that.”

“She’s right.” Lauren finally spoke up. “It is a good thing. Brody seems like a great guy and more than that, he seems just as crazy about you. Why would you end that?”

“Because she thinks she’s not worthy of him.”

My head snapped up at Alexa, tears stinging the corners of my eyes.

“You think that because your dad left, and Zach left, that Brody will too, and that’s not necessarily true.” Alexa came around the island and pulled my hands in hers, looking straight into my eyes. “Are you gonna marry the guy? Who knows? But you can’t keep pushing people away because you’re too scared to get hurt again.”

“Zach was a dick, Kacie.” Lauren’s blue eyes were glossy, but loving. “His reasons for leaving were his issue, not yours. You did nothing wrong. Same with your dad. Stop thinking it’s you.”

My stomach rolled, this conversation was too much. I needed air.

I pulled my hands free from Alexa’s and rushed to the French doors at the back of the house.

“You running again?” Alexa called after me, freezing me in my tracks. “You don’t like what you’re hearing so you’re gonna go? I’m not at all surprised. This is exactly what we’re talking about, Kacie. Stop running!”

My knees buckled as I dropped down on the couch, pulling my hands over my face and crying. Hard.

Lauren rushed to my side, pulling me in for a tight hug. “That’s enough, Lex, she gets it.”

“I don’t think she does, Lauren. She’s gonna blow the first good thing that has come into her life in a really long time—and for what? For Blaire? For her dad? For Zach?”

I barely heard Alexa’s words over my sobs.

“It was so hard, Lauren,” I wailed in her arms. “I don’t know why he left; I don’t know what I did. I fought like hell, but I couldn’t keep my family together. It gutted me. I can’t do it again, not with Brody.”

I sat up and wiped my hand on the sleeve of my hoodie, not caring one bit that I looked like a feral animal.

“Here.” Alexa walked up and handed me tissues.

“I know you’re right, Lex,” I muttered once I calmed down. “I know I run, I don’t know what else to do.” Tears continued to stream down my face as I desperately searched both of their faces for answers.

“What if you stayed?” Lauren asked sweetly as she reached over and brushed my messy hair out of my face.

“What if he leaves me?” I asked out loud, even though it hurt like hell to say those words.

Alexa sat on the other side of me and put her arm around my waist. “Then we egg his house.”

A tiny laugh simmered in my stomach, building slowly until I couldn’t hold it in any longer. “He lives in a condo, with security.” I sniffed.

“There are ways around security, you just leave that to me.” Alexa batted her eyelashes at me and flashed an exaggerated smile. “But … why are you worrying about what hasn’t happened yet?”

“Because she lives on the Catastrophe Cliff,” Lauren said nonchalantly.

Alexa and I both spun toward her. “The what?” Lex asked.

“Catastrophe Cliff,” she repeated. “Tommy and I learned about it in counseling. Basically, it just means that you are always on edge, waiting for the worst that can possibly happen to actually happen, though more than likely it never does.”

“Oh my God … she hit the nail on the head, Kacie. That’s exactly you!” Alexa’s eyes were wide. “Except you don’t just hang out on the edge of the cliff, you built a f*cking house there!”

“Wait…” I turned my attention back toward Lauren, “Why are you and Tommy in counseling? You two are the most normal couple I know … no offense, Lex.”

“None taken, it’s true.” Alexa smirked.

“Premarital counseling. We like going there to talk our stuff out, so we’re gonna continue even after the wedding.”

“Okay, can we talk about the wedding for a while, please?” I sat up straight and cleared my throat. “We only have a few days left, enough about my issues for now. Let’s figure out what we still need to get done.”