Room for You(30)

“I can’t.” I meant that literally. I couldn’t will my feet to move even if I wanted them to.

“Look in my eyes. Yes, you can. You said you trusted me, now come on. Jump in puddles with me.”

I looked into his eyes, trying to understand the words he was saying, but my brain had sputtered to a halt. Puddles? What the hell was he talking about?

Suddenly, it hit me. Last week in the storm, the puddles. I let go of control a little that day, and it actually felt really good. This, though, was different. I had no control up there.

“I don’t think I can.” My voice was shaky, terror constricting my every movement.

“Yes, you can. One foot in front of the other. Come on, I got ya. Just keep looking at me.” Brody started walking backwards, still holding onto my shoulders. He never took his eyes off mine, except to peek backwards and make sure he wasn’t going to bump into anyone.

When we got to the entrance of the ride, everything inside me was screaming to run. Brody still had a gentle but firm grip on my shoulders and wasn’t about to let me go anywhere.

He trailed a path from my shoulders to my hands, never losing contact with me as he squeezed my hands tight in his. He turned and nodded at the young, tattooed ride attendant who opened the silver gate and let us through. Brody didn’t let go of my trembling hand as he led me onto the ride. I sat down, already terrified to look to my side and we weren’t even off the ground yet. He let go of my hand and stepped out of the ride and I panicked.

“I’m not going anywhere, I promise. Just one sec.” He reassured me, probably sensing that I was about to climb over the back of the seat and sprint straight for the parking lot.

He stepped away and whispered something into the kid’s ear and then handed him something. I was too preoccupied thinking about death to care what it was.

He walked over and slid in the seat next to me. I immediately reached for him and he put his right arm around me. I snuggled up as close as I could, laying my head on his chest. He took his phone out of his pocket with his left hand.

“What are you doing?” I blurted out, not wanting him to make any movements at all.

“Tommy gave me his number earlier, I’m just letting them know where we are.” He snickered.

His laugh vibrated through my body, calming my nerves a bit. My peace was shattered when the fair kid slammed the metal bar down in front of us. I flinched and Brody squeezed my shoulders tight.

“We’re okay,” he whispered into my hair, his thumb rubbing back and forth on my shoulder.

The ride squeaked as it started turning and I buried my face deeper in his chest. We went very slowly, stopping about ten seconds later. I assumed to let people off and more people on, though I didn’t dare crack my eyes open to look.

We did that about twenty more times before the ride started picking up speed. The faster it went, the tighter I pinched my eyes, my face still buried in Brody’s stinky fish shirt. Every revolution, my stomach flip-flopped from my feet to my head, and I was praying for it to be over soon. Up, down. Up, down. Brody had moved his hands from my shoulder to the nape of my neck and he was stroking my hair, trying to keep me calm. He didn’t talk the whole ride and I was thankful for that.

The ride ground to a halt, but I refused to move. I felt us go up, but we never came back down. I knew we were stuck at the top.

What were the f*cking odds?

“Okay, Kacie. Open your eyes,” Brody said softly.

I didn’t respond. I just shook my head no.

“Come on, please?”

I shook my head again.

“I promise we’re safe. It’s breathtaking. Just a quick peek?”

I let out a deep breath and opened one eye without taking my head off his chest. All I could see were our feet. I opened the other eye, still not lifting my head.

“Take your time, when you’re ready.” He continued playing with my hair.

Lifting my head so that it was off his chest but still leaning on him, I looked straight ahead. I could barely see over the front of the car, but I could see enough to tell that we were high, really high.

“Don’t look down, look out.”

The sun was about to go down behind the tall pine trees. The sky was a beautiful pallet of pink, orange and purple swirls. Airplanes left squiggly smoke trails, framing the stunning sunset.

“If you can, look to your right.”

I didn’t turn my head, but strained my eyes over to the right. In the distance was a big lake dotted with sailboats and buoys. The sun glistened off the water like fireworks.

The longer I sat there taking in the view, the more I relaxed. I sat up straight, off of Brody, to get a better look at everything. He was right; it was amazing up here. I could see for miles.

After a few minutes of my eyes dancing all around the county, I turned to him. He was just staring at me, a faint smile on his lips.

“Thank you.” It was my turn to squeeze his knee.

“You know why I insisted you come up here?” He leaned back in his seat, not letting go.

I didn’t respond, just stared into his eyes.

“You were so scared, Kacie, just like you are about life. I wanted you to see that sometimes, even when something terrifies you, if you just give it a chance it’s actually pretty incredible.”

My eyes welled up with tears. This man was amazing, and I … was an idiot.