Rogue (Dead Man's Ink, #2)(27)
I can just about make his features out as he gives me a grin that would take me out at the knees if I were standing. “You done, or should I come closer and give you a better look?” he asks softly. “You keep peering out of those covers at me and I might just come back to bed.”
“That sounds like a threat.”
“It is. And more. I’ll make good on the promise I made you the other day, if you like?”
It takes me a second to remember what he’s referring to. When I do, my cheeks feel like they’re on fire. He’s referring to making me come. Properly. Showing me that the female orgasm isn’t just a myth. Holy shit…
Rebel stalks into the room like a panther, like now he’s had to chance to think about making me scream and he’s decided it’s a really great idea. I have no idea if he’s just trying to scare me or if this is something more. And I have no idea if I want it to be more. It makes me feel safe to pretend I don’t want him, but it’s exhausting and I’ve never been good at lying. Even to myself.
Truth is, I’m addicted to the man.
I should hate him. I should be scared of him. I shouldn’t want him anywhere near me, and yet…
“You can do what you want,” I whisper. “You normally do.”
He gives me a smirk. “Well, well. I do believe that wasn’t a no.” He walks back into the cabin, holding his torso rigid—I can see he’s already freshly dressed his wounds again this morning—as though he’s trying not to pull his stitches. I never thought I’d be the kind of person to look at a man like this. Like I’m hungry for him. It’s embarrassing, but it’s also freeing in some weird way, too. Sex has never been a big deal for me. It’s never played a huge role in my life. Ever since Matt and I got together, I assumed I just had a low sex drive and that was okay because he was always pretty vanilla about things and would finish up quickly anyway. But now… now I know my sex drive isn’t low. It’s just been dormant, laying in wait for the right person to come and awaken it. As I lay in Rebel’s bed, rubbing my feet together, trying not to think about the building pressure between my legs or the wicked look that’s spreading across his face, I’m pretty sure I’ve found that person. Or rather he found me.
“I’m just saying. Would it matter even if I did say no? You seem to get your own way most of the time, regardless of what anyone else has planned.”
He stops dead in his tracks. “Not all the time, Soph. Not with this. You think I’d force you to f*ck me?” He’s lost that playful air to him. It’s vanished in a puff of smoke. Instead, he looks…hurt?
“No. No, that’s not what I meant. I…I just—”
“Think that I would coerce you in some way?” He frowns deeply, those blue eyes of his clouding over. It takes less than the space of a heartbeat to realize that I’ve said the wrong thing. I regret opening my mouth instantly. I should have thought.
“No. I don’t think you would ever coerce me. I really don’t. I shouldn’t have said that. You just…you make me feel like I’m…out of control.”
“You are always in control, Soph. Always. If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m at your disposal, day or night. My club members step out of line and they’ll know about it, but you can pretty much get away with murder. I’m not a fan of games, Sophia. I’ve kept my mouth shut since Alabama because you looked terrified at the time, but I told you back in that hallway that you were mine for as long as you wanted to be. And I was yours. You didn’t take my hand. You were scared by the idea of it, I know. But it’s still true. That hasn’t changed. As long as you’re here, with me, you have nothing to be afraid of. And that includes me.”
I can’t think of the right thing to say. When he looks at me the way he’s looking at me right now, I can’t think straight at the best of times. But coupled with the intensity in his voice and the way my body has just responded to his words, I don’t have a hope in hell of forming a coherent sentence.
He sighs, throwing the notepad and pen down on the end of the bed. “I’m going to figure out how to shower with all of these bandages. You can get some more sleep if you like.” He turns and heads for the bathroom door.
“Rebel, wait!”
He does. Glancing over his shoulder at me, he waits for me to speak. Me being me, I’m hoping that he’ll let me off, cut me some slack, not make me say it, but of course he’s him and that’s not how this thing works. I’m learning that slowly. Frustration courses through my veins. Why can’t he be a gentleman about this and just come get into bed with me? Rebel shakes his head, a small, barely-there smile twitching at the corners of his mouth.
“Be brave, sugar. I know you are. You just gotta prove it,” he says softly.
In a million other situations, I’d get stubborn on his ass. I’d slump down in the bed, hiding under the covers, and I’d let him go take his shower, refusing to step up to the plate. This is different, though. If I did that right now, I wouldn’t be winning. I’d be losing, big time. I let out a shaky breath, pulling myself up a little in the bed. “All right, fine. I don’t want you to go for a shower. I want you to stay here. With me.”
“Oh? And why would that be?”
I could kick him in the shins for being so quietly smug, but it’s actually a very sexy look on him. He pulls it off well enough for me to be squirming in the bed as he slowly faces me again. “You know why,” I tell him.