Rodeo Christmas at Evergreen Ranch (Gold Valley #13)(106)

She was tired of being only part of what she was.

A good daughter. A good sister. Then a good student, because that was all she could be. Because she had left those other things behind. A good advocate for herself, a protector of her own time and space. But not a friend. Not a lover.

And Clayton... With him, she had found something. With him, she had found something so unique and wonderful and reverent. It was friendship, and it was desire. And it was strength as much as it was weakness. And she wanted. With everything that she was, she wanted. And holding back since she had discovered how much she wanted him had been just another thing that felt like a lie. Another thing that felt like it wasn’t her.

But this... This felt like her.

And she wasn’t embarrassed. Not when he pushed her jeans down her hips, taking her underwear along with it. Not when he unclipped her bra and bared her breasts to his dark, intense gaze.

No, she wasn’t embarrassed.

She was free.

“I’m a virgin,” she said.

He let out a slow breath. “I was afraid of that.”

“I figured I ought to be up-front.”

“I appreciate it.”

“Are you going to not do it now?”

He shook his head. “I couldn’t turn back if I wanted to, ma’am.”

And she flushed all over and laughed. “Well, that’s good. Because I would be pretty mad if you took me this far and didn’t carry me the rest of the way.”

“I aim to get you there. I just... I wish it could be different. For us. For you. You deserve more.”

“No. I deserve what I want. And I want you, Clayton Everett. Bullet wound, shitty family and all.”

The corner of his mouth hitched up into a smile. “There’s something I don’t hear every day. Or even once.”

“Will you take your clothes off, please?” she whispered.

“Happy to.”

He unsnapped his jeans and pushed them down his narrow hips, revealing his arousal to her. It was thick, hard and ready.

And so was she.

Oh, she wanted this man. She wanted him so badly she ached with it. Burned with it. Couldn’t breathe for it.

Then he hauled her up against his body, every bare inch of her against every bare inch of him.

He was so hot. So beautiful. She pushed her fingers through his hair and studied his face. Those dark eyes, that square, outlaw jaw and the dark stubble there.

She moved her thumb over the scar on his lip. “How did you get this?”

“My brother,” he said. “I made him mad. He slammed my head against the side of a brick wall. My teeth cut right through my lip. This is not real,” he said, pointing to one of his front teeth.

And she kissed him. She kissed him, because if she didn’t she might cry. Because she wanted to take his past and erase it. Because she wanted to destroy anybody who had ever mistreated him.

Whoever had taken that perfect face and marked it forever. With violence.

And she just wished... She wished they knew each other some other way. That she were normal, whole and easy, and he was a nice guy that she met at a café or a bar. Instead of what they were. Instead of all this brokenness. Instead of all this... Anguish.

“You don’t have any scars, do you?” He moved his hand up the center of her back, his calloused fingers tracing a line there. “None so anyone could see.”

She shivered. “No,” she agreed. “None so anyone could see.”

“Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?”

She shook her head. “Not in a nice way. My mother said before that my looks would get me in trouble. I did my best to cover up my... My figure. I never wore makeup...”

“You should show your body off with pride. You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. And I am not a virgin, Tala. I’ve seen my share of women.”

“I don’t think I want to think about that.”

“You were honest with me, so I’m being honest with you. And I want you to understand that even though I’ve done this before... It still means something to me. It’s still more than just...” He cupped her face. “Hell, sweetheart. You saved my life. How many men can say that to a woman they’re holding in their arms.”

And he made her feel strong. He made her feel brave and important. He made her feel right. Just as she was. And that was a whole kind of miracle she hadn’t known she needed. He picked her up and laid her back on the bed, spread her out before him and looked her up and down. “You are so beautiful. And what I feel... What I feel right now, it’s not shameful. This is the purest thing I’ve ever felt in my life.”

He bent over her on the bed and cupped her breast, traced one nipple with the edge of his calloused finger. Then she shivered. He leaned in and took the tightened bud into his mouth, sucking it in deep. And she gasped, arching up off the bed as an arrow of pleasure centered itself right in her midsection, tightened between her thighs.

She had read about this. But reading about it wasn’t anything like experiencing it. She couldn’t control this. The speed of it. The heights. She had no say over which direction this fantasy went. It was his world. His hands. His touch. Creating a symphony of need inside of her, and she had no idea where or when the crescendo might be. It was the most terrifying, exhilarating, wonderful moment of her life. As he continued to lick and kiss and suck his way down her body, she surrendered herself wholly to the moment.