Rock All Night(34)

It wasn’t because he wasn’t cute, because he most definitely was. He was talented, and smart, and sweet –

– but he wasn’t Derek.

He saw my reaction and smiled gently. “I’m not hitting on you, Kaitlyn. You’re Derek’s girl.”

My hackles raised up. “I’m nobody’s ‘girl.’”

He laughed. “Okay, forget that part – but I know you’re in love with him, and you always have been, even if you won’t admit it to yourself. You guys have a lot of unfinished business to attend to… and I think you should. I’m not saying that just because I’m his best friend, but because… I know what it’s like to want something for a long time and never get it.”

I wanted to reach out and touch him, to comfort him, but I knew that would be a bad idea. It would quite possibly be cruel.

He kept talking. “And if you can have it, then you ought to go for it. Reach out and take it. Regretting things you did is a whole lot less painful than regretting things you didn’t do because you were afraid. Just… one word of advice: be careful. He’s my best friend, but… just be careful. Don’t give too much of yourself away. Not completely.”

He took another sip of beer. When I didn’t say anything and just sat there with my mouth open, he put down the bottle and said with exaggerated humor, “Well, this isn’t awkward at all. If you don’t mind, I think I’m going to excuse myself. Maybe go break my rule about hooking up the same night.”

He moved to stand –

“Ryan…” I said feebly.

“Kaitlyn, it’s cool,” he said, and gave me another smile that almost broke my heart. “I didn’t tell you those things for any other reason than to let you know I care about you. So when I tell you this, you know I’m telling you the truth: he’s in love with you. He just has a messed-up way of showing it. And you ought to let go. Let yourself live a little. Just… be careful. I like you way too much to see you get hurt.”

I nodded mutely, sad that such a great guy was saying such amazing things –

Had felt this way about me for so long –

…and yet I just couldn’t return his feelings.

He paused, waiting to see if I would say something… and then he smiled sadly, resigned. “Have a good night, Kaitlyn. See you tomorrow.”

“You, too,” I said quietly.

Then he got up, gave me a wink, and took his beer and waded into the crowd.

I should’ve felt better, because he was almost immediately set upon by a half-dozen cute girls.

But I didn’t.

I just felt hollow and sad.

Then I looked over at Derek, clowning on the dance floor, surrounded by women trying to f*ck him in public –

And I got furious.

I stood up from the table.

“Leaving so soon?” Killian asked in a mellow haze.

I looked over at him in surprise, having forgotten he was still there. “Yeah, I… I’m taking off. Goodnight, Killian.”

“Goodnight, luv,” he said amiably.

I forced my way into the crowd and left the bar.





21




Ten hours after I’d arrived at the Dubai, I finally made my way up to my room. It was small but lovely – beautifully decorated, with a luxurious king-size bed. There was a large glass window that looked six stories out over the Sunset Strip, with all its lights and cars and revelers on the sidewalks, even at 1AM. The glass was double-paned, though, so the room was quiet as could be, with no more than a whisper from the air conditioning vent.

There was my bag, waiting for me in the middle of the room. I put it on a nearby chair, opened it up, and dug out my super extra-large t-shirt that I slept in. I stripped off my clothes and smelled them. Ugh – stale pot smoke. Same with my hair. Blech. I desperately wanted to slip into bed and just forget the entire last three hours had ever happened, but I couldn’t bear the thought of smelling like this, not one second more. I slipped into the bathroom and took a short, hot shower. The hotel’s exotic soaps and shampoos washed away my makeup and the funk, but nothing could wash out the image of Derek being pawed at by his writhing, oversexed admirers. If I could have directed the spray of steaming water directly into my brain, I would have. I tried to think of something else, but the more I suppressed my rage and hurt and jealousy, the more they devoured me alive.

I quickly toweled off, applied some moisturizer, and slipped into my oversized top. The non-stop go-go-go of the day had finally seeped in, and the bed was calling out to my weary body –

When suddenly there was a knock on the door.

Bam bam bam.

What the f*ck?!

I glanced over at the hotel room clock. 1:40 AM.

My stomach turned.

What if it was Ryan, drunk off his ass, coming up here to profess his love?

Jesus that had been uncomfortable down in the bar.

Sweet, but incredibly uncomfortable.

I didn’t know how I could tell him I just wasn’t interested.

Or – horror of horrors – what if it was Riley?

My skin crawled just to think of it.

I fearfully went over to the door. “Who is it?”

“It’s me,” a deep, dark, powerful voice said.

Derek.