Rock All Night(13)

“We weren’t even home yet,” Derek laughed.

“His roommates just let you stay there?”

Riley waved her hand like Pff. “One dude was so stoned out of his mind, he thought I was his roommate already… and the drag queen was cool. I just told ‘em Derek was expecting me. They didn’t give a shit.”

“Except Derek wasn’t expecting you, though, right?” I asked.

“His roommates didn’t know that.”

“How’d you find out where he lived?”

“I went to the clubs and said there was this buff musclehead and a tall geek and an English pothead, and everybody knew who I was talking about immediately. One of the bartenders told me where Derek lived, and I just drove around till I found it.”

“Tell her what you said when you opened the door and saw us,” Derek said.

“‘Saddle up, bitches – I came to play!’” she hollered gleefully.

“No, before that.”

“Oh, yeah – ‘What took you so long?’”

“Why’d you change your mind and leave New York?” I asked.

“You ever been in a band with three other chicks, Blondie?”

“No.”

“So I guess you’ve never been in a band with three other chicks you’ve f*cked, then.”

“That would definitely be ‘no.’”

“Well, I can let you in on a little secret: it’s too much f*ckin’ drama.” Riley gestured to her bandmates. “As soon as these f*ckers left, Sibyl – she was the lead singer – started screaming at me, telling me I wouldn’t dare quit the band, I was a traitor, I was f*ckin’ guys behind her back, yadda yadda yadda. I wasn’t even seriously considering listening to the CD until she went off – then I was like, ‘Oh yeah? FUCK YOU, BITCH.’ And then I listened to the CD, and, well…”

“She liked us,” Killian said.

“I wouldn’t go that far. But you didn’t suck too bad,” Riley teased him.

“And you just picked up and left?”

“Yup. Said, ‘Fuck all y’all bitches, I’m OUT,’ and drove my van down… and the rest is history.”

“And you guys went on to record your first album,” I marveled.

“Oh, oh – wait – Ryan hasn’t told you the part where he almost pussied out,” Riley said excitedly.

“I didn’t… wimp out,” Ryan said.

“You just pussied out right there, you big *,” Riley snorted.

“Ryan was getting a lot of flack from his parents,” Derek explained. “He wanted to be a music major, and they wanted him to be a business major. They were even pressuring him to quit the band – ”

“And he almost f*ckin’ did!” Riley shouted in disbelief.

“No I didn’t,” Ryan said, shaking his head and giving me a look like Don’t listen to them.

“Yes he did,” Riley said, pushing his head up against the window of the limo and getting up in my face. “The drag queen was moving out and we wanted Ryan to move in so we could work on the album, and he was all like Uhhhh and Waaaah – ” she said, imitating a baby’s cries.

“I was not!” Ryan said indignantly as he pried Riley’s nicotine-stained fingers off his face.

“So I was like, ‘Bitch – this is decision time here,’” Riley said dramatically. “‘There ain’t no Plan B. I came all the way down here from New York, and Killian flew all the way over from England. We believe in this band – do you believe in this band? Because you’re either all the way in, or you’re all the way out. And you had better not * out on me now.’”

I looked at Ryan. “What did you do?”

“He did me proud!” Riley shouted happily, leapt up, and gave Ryan a noogie. He laughed and tried to bat her off, but she was like a monkey with an extremely strong grip.

It struck me that they acted very much like brother and sister. A playful, bantering relationship. With Derek it was brotherly, too, but more like sibling rivalry: constant, simmering hostility. Between her and Ryan there was real warmth. She could have been his long-lost little sister.

His ill-kempt, foul-mouthed, horny lesbian little sister.

“I moved in that day and quit college next week,” Ryan said, after putting his hand on Riley’s forehead and keeping her at arm’s length. “And then we recorded the first album, and that was basically when we took off.”

Just as he said it, the limo pulled into a giant parking lot in front of a huge stadium.

“Touching story, ladies and gentlemen, but it will have to be resumed at a later time,” Miles announced. “We are here, and you are now officially on the clock. Go on, get out! Chop chop!”





9




The Staples Center was a massive arena usually reserved for sports events and the biggest of the big music acts. It has room for 20,000 people; at the moment, there were only 100, and so it felt cavernously empty.

The hundred in question were working getting the stage, lighting, and equipment ready for the show. There were teams futzing with the electronics, and others messing with the sound system. Feedback whined through the speakers and echoed in the empty spaces above the upper rafters.